


Don’t pass me by (If you can’t forget me either)

by kan9



Category: BLACKPINK (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, F/F, Heavy Angst
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-01
Updated: 2019-02-21
Packaged: 2019-04-06 19:11:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 47,155
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14063589
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kan9/pseuds/kan9
Summary: Lisa falls madly in love with Jennie, knowingly there will be consequences for loving her.





	1. Part One

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have proofread this chapter and as far as I know, there aren't any huge mistakes of what I know of. This chapter is the updated version.

It is heavily snowing this Christmas Eve and here she is, lying on the side on her bed, sprawled all over and she holds onto an opened white envelope with all five fingers. Her breathing is slow but she unevenly inhales, the lump fixed in her throat still. Salty tears roll out of her eyes, landing on her pillow. It has created a small circle of wetness.

 

Her blurred gaze is stuck in that one spot on the bed and she hasn’t moved for a good thirty minutes. She doesn’t feel like moving from her spot anytime soon. There’s nothing better for her to do this Christmas Eve anyways as she would be spending it alone for the first time in two, almost three years.

 

_Lisa retrieves her mail from her mailbox before trudging up the stairs, all the way up to the 3 rd floor. In the meanwhile, she browses through her mail, seeing nothing but bills and advertising mail at first. However, a white envelope that has her name so beautifully handwritten stopped her from browsing any further. She arches her brow, looking confusedly at the envelope. Shoving all her mail between her arm and body, she fishes out her keys and unlocks her apartment door._

_The brunette drops her keys and the other unimportant mail on the coffee table made of glass. She plops down on her couch and puts her feet on the same table she had put her keys and mail on. To ease the eerie silence in her compact, yet comfortable apartment, she switches on the TV._

_With a historical drama in the background, she pushes her index finger inside the small gap of the envelope and drags her finger down with little effort to open. She slips out the card of its holder and for a slight second there, her heart stops as she reads the first two words. She really thinks her heart stopped right there for a minimal second. She didn’t hear the historical drama nor her neighbours from upstairs that are usually very loud. Her world had stopped for a second._

_Her heart breaks into more and more pieces for every second that passes as she dares to proceed on reading the card that holds a name of a person that has meant the world to her, in fact, been_ her  _entire_   _world._

_Park Chaeyoung_

_and_

_Park Chanyeol_

_request the honor of your company_  
_at the celebration of their union_

_Saturday, the tenth of February_  
_two thousand and eighteen_  
_at three o’clock in the afternoon_

_JW Marriott Hotel Seoul_  
_176 Sinbanpo-ro, Seocho-gu_  
_Seoul, South Korea_

_Reception to follow_

The invitation in her hand is the same invitation she had retrieved from her mailbox an hour ago.

 

She lets out a long breath before clearing her throat. Finally, she decides to wipe away the tears that are eager to come out, only for them to come back but this time in huge chunks instead.

 

Her heart is in shambles, even then it has the energy left to wrench causing her to be in more pain than she already is in. She isn’t sure if it’s possible but anything that has to do with pain is possible it appears. For her at least.

 

The pain that she is holding hostage but is also holding  _her_  hostage, it is stuck to her like a locked chain. She thought it was temporary, this ordeal of hers, that it would go away as time passed. It hasn’t and it’s been a month, a little more over a month. She ended up being stuck to this depraved cycle, losing herself in her own state of mind, and the day Chaeyoung left her without a word left behind was the last straw of her happiness.

 

She is trying not to think too much, to not make her head go into overdrive but it’s hard to prevent it from happening as Lisa’s emotions are everywhere right now and extremely difficult to deal with.

 

She is sick and tired of crying, and receiving a wedding invitation was not helping it.

 

She doesn’t understand why she was invited. Was this some sort of wicked plan to show Lisa that she is happy without her? It’s working, that’s for sure. It doesn’t make any sense to her as Chaeyoung was the one who left, not the other way around. Lisa should be the  _one_  shoving _something_  in the latter’s face but she isn’t and whatever that  _something_ is it isn’t happiness.

 

Perhaps this is Chaeyoung’s way to redeem Lisa’s bad memories of her.

 

However, it’s still not logical…

 

_“Chaeyoung? Chaeng? Park Chaeyoung?”_

_Lisa anxiously calls out for her girlfriend after having read a note on the nightstand saying nothing more than a mere_ ‘I’m sorry’ _. She goes all around their apartment, from that corner to this corner, from the kitchen to the bathroom, from the bedroom to the living room. Her brunette girlfriend can’t be found, she is nowhere to be found._

_She takes out her phone from her pocket, dialing the number of Chaeyoung. As expected, she doesn’t answer but Lisa tries seven more times. Fortunately, on the eighth try, the call is connected and is picked up._

_“Chaeyoung? Where are you? Is everything all right?” she frantically asks, pacing back and forth in the living room, still in her pajamas. “Why is there a note saying,_ ‘I’m sorry’?”

 

_“I’m sorry, Lisa.”_

_And the call gets disconnected._

 

That was the last time Lisa ever heard from her. Of course, she tried multiple of times to come in contact with her again, any sane partner would try and repeatedly contact, but Chaeyoung was unreachable. Almost as if she had disappeared from the living world or Lisa was just dumb and wasn’t searching in the right places nor thinking straight.

 

Chaeyoung didn’t answer her text messages nor her calls and in the end, she changed her number. Lisa tried to visit her apartment but no one ever opened and in the end, a stranger opened, explaining that they recently moved in. She tried calling and meet up with Chaeyoung’s friends but they refused to tell her, every single one of them, even their mutual friends.

 

So, Lisa stopped and God knows this was for the best.

 

A month, a little more over a month, her misery is still not finding its end. Out of nowhere, a bomb detonates, and God expects Lisa to react normally and handle this like a normal person?

 

After 45 tragic minutes, she drags herself out of bed, leaving the invitation behind on the bed and shuffles inside the bathroom. Turning on the tap with frigid water, she blows her nose and then proceeds to wash her face, once, twice, thrice and plenty more of times. She shuts the tap off and grabs a towel from one of the hooks, drying her face and sees herself using the mirror. It’s a shocking sight, really.

 

She walks out of the bathroom, slightly alarmed because of the cold water but that was what she needed. A wake-up call.

 

There’s knocking on the front door when she walks out of the bathroom. She passes her bedroom and heads toward the front door. Checking the peephole first and her eyes startle at the sight of her friends this Christmas Eve. She walks backward and then rushes quietly to the TV, picking up the remote and puts on her recently played movie.  _Hachi_. Thank God she finished it the other day as she is seeing the credits rolling in.

 

She stretches her mouth, moving it in every direction, warming up her smiles and brings back her fake and cheerful façade. The side she is so used to showing to her friends – to the outside world. She doesn’t want them to see the broken Lisa that they saw throughout the first week after Chaeyoung left since she is afraid they might get tired of her, ending up leaving her, just like her ex-girlfriend. She can’t handle any more stabbing in the back nor abandonment.

 

She goes back to the front door, takes a hold of the handle and drags it open.

 

“Merry Christmas!” They shout together loudly. Jisoo and Seulgi.

 

Lisa stills for a moment, looking at Jisoo and then Seulgi and back to Jisoo. “Don’t you guys have your own Christmas Eve party at your workplace?” She wrinkles her eyebrows, leaning on the door.

 

“We do,” Jisoo says, nodding. “But nothing can beat a relaxed party with good food and snacks, deep talking and Christmas movies.”

 

“Can’t disagree with you on that. Come on in.” She lets them inside before pushing the door closed and locks it after her.

 

Jisoo looks over to the TV, now seeing the poster of Hachi and a description of the movie right beside it. She then looks away and goes toward the kitchen area. “You watched Hachi? That explains the red eyes,” Jisoo continues talking whilst settling down the take-away food and snacks on the kitchen table, not too far from where Lisa stands, and Seulgi helping her out.

 

“Yeah, thank Hachi for, uh, my red eyes. I really bawled my eyes out…” she murmurs, rolling her eyes because of her little white lie and approaches them from behind and helps them with the bags.

 

“There’s not gonna be any sad movies tonight!” Seulgi laughs, looking somewhat too giddy for a girl who has never before been excited for Christmas Eve. “We gotta have the Christmas spirit as we’re eating Christmas food and watching Christmas movies. The jolly, folks, the jolly. Where is it?”

 

“Why are  _you_ so Christmas spirited? Never seen you like this.”

 

Lisa takes one of the Coke cans, her long, slender fingers around it. She opens it, taking a drink from it whilst staring at Seulgi up and down, analyzing the older girl in front of her. The acid from the Coke bites in her throat after chugging the liquid down for too long making her set it back down on the table.

 

“She was asked out on a date today,” Jisoo tells her nonchalantly.

 

“What? By whom?” Lisa exclaims, widening her eyes.

 

“Kitchen table or coffee table? You choose.”

 

Jisoo points to both tables, giving the youngest two alternatives. Lisa ponders for a few seconds, grabbing a compartment with food and coke, moving toward the coffee table. Jisoo and Seulgi follow after her.

 

“You know I’m still waiting for my question to be answered.”

 

“Disappointed but not surprised that you haven’t figured it out yet. You’re really dense, Lisa.” Jisoo shakes her head.

 

“It’s Lisa after all.” Seulgi joins in, giggling like she’s intoxicated of love or whatever she’s feeling at the moment.

 

“Hey,” she argues, feeling offended and a little smirk lingers in the corner of Jisoo’s mouth. “I’m not at fault here. Seulgi doesn’t update on her love life so how can I know when she isn’t telling me anything?”

 

They take a seat around the coffee table, Lisa pushing back the couch a bit to create enough space for everyone. Seulgi opens up her bottle of beer, still smiling whilst Jisoo digs into the food immediately.

 

Lisa still waits for Jisoo to tell her. Swallowing her food, Jisoo finally tells her. “It’s Irene, dumbass. Irene.”

 

“Oh…” Her brain is slow on registering what name Jisoo had just told her. Then it clicks. “Oh! Irene?! Bae Irene?”

 

Seulgi gets surprised by Lisa’s high-pitched voice. Her chopsticks remain in her mouth, her food is not being chewed on.

 

“What’s with the reaction?” Jisoo side-eyes her, half judging her.

 

“Oh, my God, Seulgi!” She takes a hold of her friend’s unoccupied hand, holding onto it and moves it back and forth rapidly, her excitement coming off. “This is great. Your long-time crush finally asked you out on a date. So, when’s the date?”

 

“We, uh… we haven’t decided yet.” A hue of pink takes over her skin color, spreading all over and Lisa doesn’t miss the change. She smiles brightly at her friend. “She said she’d text me…”

 

“Oh, my God…” Lisa squeals causing Jisoo to knit her brows together, horrified by Lisa’s squealing.

 

“Lisa, where do you have your hair ties?” Jisoo asks, wanting to escape from Lisa’s squealing as she has had enough of squealing today. First Seulgi then Lisa.

 

“Room, room.” Lisa points quickly in the direction of her room.

 

She places down her chopsticks and vanishes into Lisa’s bedroom.

 

“You have to tell me everything, like  _everything_ , after the date. I swear to God if you forget, Seulgi…” She scrunches up her fist before Seulgi’s very eyes. The latter only laughs watching Lisa’s failed of a threat.

 

“I will tell you  _everything_ , don’t worry.” Seulgi winks, picking up a piece of Kimchi from a separate tray and shoves it in her mouth.

 

Lisa removes her hand from Seulgi, moving back a little. “Perhaps not everything, everything. You can keep all the sexual details to yourself.”

 

“I’m joking. There won’t be any physical contact on the first date, relax.”

 

“You’re Kang Seulgi.”

 

Lisa raises herself up to walk to the refrigerator to grab a few ice cubes and a glass to pour the Coke in. She’s tired of drinking from the small hole of the tin can and it wasn’t as cold as she thought it would be.

 

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

 

Ignoring her, she asks. “Do you want a glass for your beer and some ice cubes?” Lisa looks over to Seulgi who shakes her head in response. “But yeah, you’re you, Seulgi. Sexy mama, she won’t be able to resist you.”

 

Seulgi gasps in horror and the youngest can only snicker.

 

Taking a hold of the bag with ice cubes and her glass, she moves back to the coffee table but when she looks to her left, the direction to her bedroom, she spots Jisoo walking out of her bedroom. She doesn’t leave the bedroom empty handed but the thing is, she doesn’t come out with what she asked for.

 

“Lisa…” She begins, showing up the wedding invitation in her hand. Concern was written all over her face and Lisa freezes on the spot, her eyes frantic, going to the wedding invitation and back to Jisoo. Lisa inhales and exhales, and composes herself afterward.

 

She goes back to Seulgi and says, quite indifferently, like it’s not bothering her, at all, “I got it in the mail today.”

 

Seulgi examines her as she sits down, putting in some ice cubes in the glass and proceeds to pour her half-drunk Coke in the glass.

 

“Talk to us,” Seulgi kind of demands and Lisa raises her brow at the latter, her glass to her mouth.

 

Jisoo walks over to them, also sitting down and the wedding invitation is slowly put down on the coffee table. Lisa's eyes stick on the traumatizing, white object, the object she purposely left behind in her bedroom. Her eyes drift up to Jisoo who too is scanning her.

 

Lisa sets back down her glass. “What?” She half chuckles, though the pain is eating her heart, bit by bit, slowly and painfully. “Come on. Jolly, folks, where’s the Christmas jolly?” She sets aside her compartment of food, it’s almost eaten up. “I’m putting on a Christmas movie. What do you want to watch?”

 

Getting up from her spot on the rug, she grabs Seulgi’s beer, drinking from it and plops down on the couch. She grabs the remote control, browsing through the Christmas movies that can be found on Netflix.

 

“No,” Seulgi stands up and says, looking down on her, her big sister pose is showing. “We’re going out.”

 

“Out? What do you mean out? I thought, well Jisoo said,  _nothing can beat a relaxed party with good food and snacks, deep talking and Christmas movies_.”

 

“I sound nothing like that.” Jisoo gapes offended that Lisa even tried to mimic her voice.

 

“Change of plans. Out, we’re going out to drink.” Seulgi grabs onto her wrist, trying to drag her up but Lisa isn’t budging.

 

“For what?” She laughs and her eyes sparkles, tears are forming. “Is it because of the wedding invitation? Guys, I’m fine. It’s been a month and she’s not coming back. I can only suck it up and live with that fact.”

 

“Come on, Lisa. Up.”

 

***

 

And out they are going.

 

Lisa sighs and jogs down the stairs, fixing her outfit all the way down the stairs. She is dressed in an oversized, too oversized shirt with black and red, white stripes along with a pair of black jeans. To save her freezing ass later, she wears a black coat on the outside.

 

She walks out of the building and the twilight sky has taken over the great, cloudless azure sky and it never fails to amaze Lisa to stare at nothingness. Even though it is nothingness, it calms her nerves in some strange way.

 

Jisoo and Seulgi went down first to get the car.

 

Seulgi rolls down the windows from the passenger seat and says, “Trust us,” Seulgi tries to get the younger one who’s giving them a skeptical look to calm down a notch and to enjoy the night that is to come alive. “We’re going to have fun tonight.”

 

“I said I was okay.”

 

“Just get in, Manoban,” Jisoo groans, her head almost sticking out from the window if it wasn’t for the seatbelt.

 

“Where are we even going?”

 

“A bar– does it matter? Just get in before I drag you in. It’s cold.” Jisoo’s patience is running out.

 

Nonetheless, Lisa gets into the car with rolling eyes.

 

They drive in silence and Lisa leans her head against the window, staring outside and is enthralled by the city's beauty. Lights flooding the stone pavements, tall buildings rising to its stature, people walking in the winter snow, just simply enjoying the night.

 

Shortly, they’re about to arrive at their destination and the closer they get, the clearer Lisa can hear the blaring music seeping out of buildings. She steps out of the vehicle and her hands are shoved inside her coat, and in front of her, she sees a queue lining up to the club.

 

“A club? I thought we were going to a bar.” Lisa swirls around and questions the older ones who have just got out.

 

“A bar, a club, same thing. Come on now and stop sulking, we’re here to have fun.” Jisoo shrugs and slips her arm around the youngest.

 

Lisa mumbles incoherent words under her breath thus it never reaches their ears. She dreads the incoming night and being in the presence of both Jisoo and Seulgi, things are bound to go good and bad.

 

They walk up to the entrance and greet the bouncer that guards the place. He detaches the rope barrier and lets them through with a smile on his face. They must know someone inside, must be, Lisa can’t think of anything else… that is if they aren’t regular customers which she doubts.

 

They leave their outer coats in the wardrobe before trudging down the stairs that are full of people, Lisa’s eyes widen when they reach the bottom of the stairs. She saw the people outside the building, queuing up, but never ever did she think it would be  _this_  crowded. The whole place is jammed with people and completely restless, and if she dares to go further inside, she fears that she won’t be able to get back outside.

 

“Let’s get our shots,” Seulgi shouts over the loud music. Lisa doesn’t get it, a complete question mark whilst she scrunches her eyebrows but once the raven-haired points to the bar, she understands.

 

***

 

Eight shots later, Jisoo and Seulgi are still alive, slight tipsy but alive whilst the youngest one in the group is completely wasted but still alive, fortunately.

 

“Are you okay, Lisa?” Seulgi asks and Jisoo shakes her head, disapproving of the sight. “Up for another?”

 

“Yes, definitely, I’m all for it!” she shouts at the top of her lungs, forgetting that she’s in a public environment and near people altogether. By now, she has also forgotten about all the pain and thoughts she’s been holding onto since she first received the wedding invitation. And that was her friends' plan, to get her drunk and to  _forget_.

 

Lisa’s head dunk the counter, rather loudly and it must be painful, her friends think as they are the ones who wince instead of her.

 

“Jisoo? Seulgi? Hi.” A strange but pleasing voice intrudes the younger one’s thoughts like an unwelcoming fairy. The voice reminding her of no other than Chaeyoung in her current drunk state.

 

The brunette is too drunk to tune into their conversation but is capable of processing a couple of words then and now. However, when she hears that mellifluous voice, she desires to hear it again and again, thinking of Chaeyoung all the while.

 

“We need to visit the bathroom for a second. Mind keeping an eye on Lisa for us? She’s… kind of drunk.” Jisoo is asking and the brunette nods her head.

 

She stands behind Lisa whilst the others sprint to the bathroom, squeezing their bodies in between the mass of people to get to the bathroom.

 

“How are you holding up?” The brunette pats Lisa’s back, then strokes her back gently.

 

Lisa doesn’t answer her, her head still laying on the counter.

 

“You need to take it easy on the drinking,” she continues, removing the hair tie from her wrist and takes a hold of Lisa’s hair. She puts it up into a ponytail. “I’m putting up your hair so you won’t puke in it later.”

 

All of a sudden, Lisa’s up on her feet, facing the owner of the feminine voice. Everything is moving way too fast and it’s too sudden that the brunette isn’t able to react quickly to what is coming next. Lisa cups the latter’s cheeks and like a snap of a finger, Lisa’s lips curiously and longingly meet the other pair.

 

She kisses her, slow and soft, and again, her throbbing heart yearning for more, and once more, holding the latter’s cheeks as if it’s her dear life she’s holding onto, and another. Lisa melts in the mouth of someone she believes is Chaeyoung, losing herself in the moment, thus she takes it further, sliding her arms down to the latter’s waist, leaving no gaps in between their bodies and embraces her firmly as she kisses her deeper and sloppier.

 

What Lisa doesn’t get, throughout the kiss, is the response from the latter but she’s way too drunk to care because it’s Chaeyoung in front of her, she thinks.

 

However, there’s something odd with this Chaeyoung. Lisa can’t seem to smell the scent that has been Chaeyoung’s signature all these years. The scent that Lisa can easily recognize anywhere. But this fragrance, here with her now, it’s tempting and heavenly, like fresh flowers, and inevitably drawing her in for more but it also makes her realize that the one she’s kissing is in fact not Chaeyoung.

 

Lisa separates slightly, their lips graze each other then and now because of Lisa’s unsteadiness. Her hands still around the latter and utters low, “You’re not Chaeyoung…”

 

“I’m not.” Her voice comes out in a whisper, a soft whisper. “But I can make you forget about her…”

 

With that being said, she slides up to curl her fingers into Lisa’s hair and drives her forward. She bites onto Lisa’s lower lip and things escalate quickly for the both of them. Their tongues get entwined, battling for control but the brunette is so brutal whenever she bites down on Lisa’s under lip every chance she gets. Her dominant kisses electrocute Lisa, sending rousing electricity down her spine which results in Lisa, unavoidably, moaning.

 

Arms still around the brunette, Lisa parts from her. They both pant and are utterly breathless whilst looking deep into each other’s eyes. Brown catlike eyes on big, round brown eyes.

 

“This is a mistake…”

 

“Maybe,” the brunette murmurs against her lips.

 

***

 

Lisa wakes up, feeling unexpected soreness all over her body. With the utmost carefulness, she pries up an eyelid but getting struck by the sun’s scorching gaze through the windows, she immediately shuts it. She clasps her face, cursing and turns around to lie on her stomach whilst her brain is bleeding, feeling like a knife has been buried in her head. Her dehydration too apparent for her to disregard it.

 

Lisa retries to give it another chance, levering up one eyelid first before opening the other one, but with the construction site going inside her head, they automatically shut themselves repetitive. Giving her eyes a few minutes, she finally manages to keep them open.

 

Scanning her surroundings, she finds herself at home in one piece and on the bed.

 

“Jesus…” Her voice comes out hoarse and deep. She clears her throat.

 

There’s an odd scent in her room and it’s been bothering her the last minutes she’s been awake. It’s not hers, that’s for sure. There’s a scent of fresh flowers lingering around her thus she smells her pillows and duvet, even her sheets. Her  _entire_  bed smells like fresh flowers.

 

That’s when she looks down on herself and realizes she’s stark naked. Not only does she discover that she’s completely bare, her pale body is marked with too many and few big bruises–  _hickeys_.

 

The brunette sits up on the bed, her joints popping. She wipes away the eye boogers, rubbing her eyes with the back of her hand. She looks around once again and a piece of paper stands out, lying there on the nightstand. Crawling across her bed, she picks up the white paper.

 

 _Merry Christmas Lisa._  

_– J_

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, here's the updated and edited chapter. It came earlier, way too early than expected as I have a summer job this year. I didn't expect it to be finished this early, really. Though, I pray to God and myself that I am satisfied with this change. Right now, I am, but I hope in the future too.
> 
> Another reason why I decided to change was because it took AGES for things to happen and Jenlisa didn't happen until five chapters in the novel. As a reader, I want things to move on quicker (that's me being a reader). And things with Chaelisa moved too slow. Things moved too slow, that's the tea.
> 
> It hasn't changed too much, just a slight change in Lisa's character (kind of) and some characters are not seen in the first chapter and some events are not in the updated chapter. For example, Lisa working at the restaurant is no longer in the updated version.
> 
> So, whatever you've read so far, forget about that and welcome this with open arms.


	2. Part Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Have yet to be proofread, I will try and do it during the weekend.
> 
> Notice 180722: Proofread and edited.

Lisa takes a look, two looks, three looks down on her body, utterly baffled and a complete question mark. Whoever she slept with must love biting and leaving marks, in all seriousness. They even made her so sore that she can’t even stand upright without having to put a gap between her legs as it’s uncomfortable below her stomach. A soreness she can’t explain.

 

Feeling unstable, she stiffly walks over to her wardrobe and throws on the first pair of clothes she sees, slipping up a pair of fresh panties but not bothering to put on a bra. Afterward, she puts up her hair into a ponytail, but she had to brush it a few times as it had looked disastrous, totally looking like sex hair.

 

She looks around in her room and the sight makes her sigh a lot. Grabbing a hold of the distressing note, she scrunches it up into a ball and throws it inside the garbage can in her room. Notes, in general, hasn’t been on her good side, not after Chaeyoung left.

 

When steps out of her room, she unexpectedly finds a girl holding a pair of high heels, trying to sneak out from the apartment.

 

“Hey.” Lisa’s voice comes out hoarse, rather deep but it startles the latter that is trying to escape.

 

The brunette hears some incoherent words, some mumbling from the other brunette before she is turning around to meet her eyes. Lisa is walking up to her and the closer she gets, the smaller the person in front of her gets.

 

Lisa stands about a metre away from the latter.

 

The first thing her eyes takes a notice of are the marks on the latter’s neck that are not being missed. There are… _many_ , to Lisa’s surprise. And her hair is also messy, strands of hair sticking up.

 

“Uh, hi…” she says, standing there looking very uncomfortable. “Didn’t expect you to wake up this early.”

 

She shoves her hands in the pockets of her sweatpants before idiotically starting an argument with the stranger.

 

“Leaving already, _J?_ ”

 

She raises her brow at Lisa, confused about why Lisa is asking such an absurd question when she should already know the answer to that.

 

“Isn’t that how one night stands work? You have sex with each other and in the morning, you leave before the other person can see you and hope to never see them again.”

 

Lisa scoffs. “You’re unbelievable… you took advantage of me, then proceed on leaving a note with just ‘Merry Christmas Lisa. From J’ before trying to sneak out so I don't know who I slept with? Kind of low you know, _even_ for a one night stand.”

 

This time, the girl snorts and then she laughs a little, sounding extremely uncivil. “Took advantage of you? _Please_. I did anything but take advantage of you.”

 

“Bullshit,” she says. “You’re such a liar. I was drunk and don’t remember a piss from last night but you do, don’t you?” She purses her lips, they both stand in their position, now ready for a fight.

 

“Then let me refresh your memory for you, sweetheart.”

 

Dropping her heels and purse to the side, she takes a step forward, and another, until she’s looking up at the brunette from up close. Her slightly swollen lips come to view. The latter crosses her arms over her chest and Lisa suddenly gulps. Lisa isn’t sure if arguing with her is the right choice anymore.

 

“You kissed me first, all right? Your drunk ass kissed me _so desperately_ at the thought of someone else… Chaeyoung, is it?” She smirks, oh she smirks. “Who is this Chaeyoung anyways? An ex? A crush? The girl from next door? A childhood friend–”

 

Hearing Chaeyoung, Lisa immediately says, “Shut up and just get outta here.”

 

Lisa moves past her, opening the door for her but to her surprise, the girl paces up and slams it closed and leans her right side on the door. The darkened eyes bore themselves into Lisa’s making her glance away briefly and back, and it continues that way.

 

“I’m not done.” Fury is running around in her brown, cat-like eyes the moment Lisa stares into them. “Even though you realized you were kissing me and not Chaeyoung, you still insisted on bringing me back to your place. Kissed me. Fucked me. And left these awful marks on my neck that won’t probably disappear in a couple days, maybe weeks. Oh, and that’s not the only place your sweet lips have been on.” She grabs the strap on Lisa’s hoodie in an attempt to bring her closer but the latter instantly grips her wrist, sending it away. “So, tell me, Lisa, who took advantage of who exactly?”

 

Lisa has gotten stiff and is breathing hard, clenching her lower jaw. Never in her life has she felt this humiliated before, ridiculed by a mere stranger. Words and words came out from that little mouth of hers, the same mouth that has done disgusting things to her that she doesn’t want to relive again. But she’s a hypocrite when she thinks so because… she did the same thing to _her_.

 

“Then why did you come with me?” Lisa’s tone is surprisingly calm. “For all I know, you could’ve left me alone in the club and we wouldn’t have to see each other right now. What you’re saying may be true, I don’t know, but either way, it just doesn’t add up. _Why_ did you come home with me?”

 

“Isn’t it obvious?” Instead of anger in her eyes, there’s a glint of amusement in her brown eyes. She tiptoes to reach Lisa’s height, her lips getting too close to her ear for the brunette’s liking as the answer ghosts in her ear causing her to shudder. “For fun, spontaneous fun and it _was_ … overwhelmingly fun.”

 

Lisa pushes the latter away from her by the shoulders and she just laughs. “Get away from me. You’re really fucked up.”

 

“Aren’t we all humans fucked up in some way?” It’s a simple question but hearing it from her sounds so complexed, a question that is more of a statement and at the same time a trick question. The depth of the question holds onto so much more than just _simple_.

 

“I’m Jennie by the way.” Her nonchalant introduction after being shoved catches the latter off guard.

 

“And Jennie, I need you to leave.” She demands, pushing Jennie away to reach the door handle but her hand never really reaches as Jennie stays firm in her spot causing them to, once again, stand riskily close to one another. Their eyes meet each other in another battle of staring.

 

“That’s not what you said last night…” she says so delicately, so raw and so low. Lisa is about to lose her mind due to Jennie’s proximity and she slowly draws closer.

 

Lisa clears her throat, clearing the tightening feeling in her throat, as a result of Jennie staring. “I wasn’t conscious last night,” she retorts, her fists clenches and unclenches.

 

Jennie looks up and down, going from the latter’s eyes to the lips and back to the eyes. She licks her lips but Lisa’s eyes remain looking at the catlike ones, her heart, for an odd reason, beats faster than normal. “But… you are now.”

 

“And?”

 

Suddenly, there’s loud knocking coming from the front door, alarming both of them and it removes Lisa from her hypnotic trance, spelled by no other than Jennie herself.

 

Like a habit now, Lisa pushes the obnoxious brunette away and unintentionally hides her behind the door as she opens it. Only half of her body is shown whilst her head is peaking out.

 

She shakes her head when she is seeing her neighbor from next door glaring at her. A man in his late forties, Lisa isn’t too sure as she is only assuming, but his greys are really standing out in his black hair and his wrinkles are showing.

 

He isn’t pleased with the fact that he got woken up by the slamming caused by Jennie. Now Lisa is preparing herself mentally for a scolding she doesn’t deserve at all and curses inwardly at the walls for being so thin. This isn’t the first time he had to come over to her apartment to scold her.

 

“Ms. Manoban,” he starts off. “How many times have I told you to keep quiet in the morning?” His index finger is pointing at her and Lisa feels like a child being scolded all over again. “It’s 7 AM and you’re causing such a ruckus already. Making so much noise that I had to wake up from my beauty sleep, step out of my comfortable apartment to come to visit you and to tell you that it isn’t okay. I shouldn’t need to do this, right?”

 

Jennie laughs and Lisa turns her head for a short second to the latter, widening her eyes and in absolute disbelief. The brunette on the other hand shrugs, smirking, and Lisa without thinking clearly clasps Jennie’s mouth shut with her left hand. However, she regrets it right away as her palm gets in contact with Jennie’s lips.

 

“I’m sorry, Mr. Choi,” she says, drifting her attention back to the impatient man. “It won’t happen again.”

 

“You always say that but you’ll do it again. I know your type, Ms. Manoban.”

 

Jennie kisses Lisa’s palm.

 

“It seriously won’t happen again. If it does, feel free to call the landlord on me. But I assure you that you won’t have to come to visit me in the morning ever again.”

 

And again. Though Jennie’s lips linger longer than the first one.

 

“How am I supposed to believe you?”

 

Lisa almost groans. For one, Mr. Choi is being a pain in the ass right now for not going away and secondly, Jennie keeps kissing her palm and it does a million things to her soul and she is unsure on how to hold herself back. She can’t exactly turn around and push the girl away without alerting Mr. Choi that she has a visitor. Then again, why did she even hide Jennie in the first place? She _is allowed_ to have visitors.

 

“I don’t know,” she says, irritation comes surging in. “Just call the landlord on me the next time I wake you up. That’s that. Believe me or not, it’s up to you.”

 

“I’m serious,” he warns her and she rolls her eyes, almost.

 

“So am I,” she says, still managing to stay collected even though there’s a particular someone kissing her palm who isn’t thinking of what effect it has on Lisa. Or she knows what it does to her but does it nonetheless, being a very daring person.

 

And another. This time, the sound of kissing reaches Lisa’s ears.

 

Lisa determines that this is a torture, complete torture and she doesn’t have a concrete reason to why she thinks so as it’s nothing more than small pecks on her palm. It just is _torture_. And Jennie is excessively affectionate for someone who was desperate to sneak out before Lisa ever saw her.

 

“You should go back to your _beauty_ sleep, Mr. Choi,” she tells him, hoping he wouldn’t try to extend their conversation even further. “And Merry Christmas.”

 

“ _Yes_ , yes, yes.” He shakes his head, turning his back on her and walks back to his apartment. “Don’t make me come back. It’s your final warning.”

 

Jennie takes it to the next stage, leaving small, repetitive pecks.

 

“ _Yes,_ yes, yes…” she mimics him quietly and shuts the door.

 

When the door is closed, she hastily pulls away of her hand, staring at Jennie in horror. Confusion, anger, _lust_. These emotions swirl in her head, occupying her mind like a tornado spinning in circles without any sense of direction.

 

“Are you out of your goddamn fucking mind?” Lisa exclaims, backing away from the culprit but her back hits the kitchen counter in the end and she hasn’t come far.

 

Abruptly, a phone rings and it’s coming from Jennie’s dropped purse. Jennie hesitates but crouches down nonetheless, opening the purse and withdraws the phone and the ringtone is causing Lisa’s head to throb, reminding her of the hangover she still has. Lisa clutches her forehead, massaging it in an attempt to soothe her headache whilst Jennie picks up the phone call.

 

“ _If you don’t get your ass down here soon, there’s not only going to be a missing car but a missing friend and a body too… yours!_ ” Lisa hears the caller shout and every word is sound and clear to her as if the caller was put on speaker.

 

“I’m coming, give me a couple of minutes.” Jennie stares up at Lisa as she speaks and Lisa stares back.

 

“ _What do you mean ‘give me a couple of minutes’? Dude, it’s a one night stand, not a fucking relationship where you have to wait until the person wakes up to say goodbye. Just come down, I’ve already waited for thirty minutes._ ”

 

As her friend shouts an arm’s length away from Jennie, she gets up and decides to stride up to Lisa, only having to take four steps and as if she doesn’t know what distance is, she stands too close that Lisa stopped breathing for a moment.

 

She puts her phone back to her ear. “I’m not asking for an hour, Nayeon. Just wait for 2-3 more minutes and I’ll come down,” she says and puts the phone an arm’s length away again. “I’ve never been sane.” What she is saying is directed to Lisa.

 

Lisa’s fists clench and unclench once more on the sides, not exactly knowing what to do in her tight and awkward position. Something about Jennie, simply being here and after their little argument and after the small pecks on her palm, arouses an unforeseen desire within her. Even with Chaeyoung, her sudden lust wasn’t easily awoken. But with Jennie, hidden desires unveiled themselves, desires she didn’t know of until now.

 

Whilst Chaeyoung was this angel, an angel she wanted nothing more than just take care of, cuddle with… just be with her, but Jennie was something else, she was the opposite of Chaeyoung.

 

Lisa can’t be the same way she was with Chaeyoung with Jennie and she is hungry to know why she can’t.

 

“ _Right now, Kim Jennie!_ _Seriously, you really fucked things up this time and if I were you, I wouldn’t stay behind in the apartment for another second. What will Tae–_ ” Her friend yells but Jennie can’t bother to care right now as she hangs up on Nayeon midway, placing the phone behind Lisa, on the kitchen counter.

 

Silence fills the apartment for a long period of time.

 

“You’re something…” Lisa mumbles.

 

Their eyes are focusing on each other and Lisa is too late to move away as she’s being trapped again. Losing herself in the darkened, brown eyes that captivate her and she can’t bring herself to look anywhere else.

 

“Why are you still here?” Lisa sighs whilst Jennie purposely closes the gap, inch by inch, until her lips are grazing Lisa’s, teasing and subtle, but it’s there. “You need to be more decisive. Are you leaving or are you trying to… kiss me?”

 

Lisa wants to explore this part of her even further.

 

Jennie’s hot breath brushes against Lisa’s and the latter in turn gulps way too many times.

 

“You’ve been sealing the distance between us every single time you’re near me.” Jennie shrugs at the comment. “I’m not a magnet.”

 

She shrugs again. “I keep wanting to come back to you, so maybe you are.”

 

“Your friend–” Lisa gets cut off, trying to change the subject, her cheeks turning into a hue of tomato red at the compliment, or is it one?

 

“You need to learn how to shut up.”

 

Without a moment of hesitation, she grabs Lisa’s neck from the back and drives her forward, tired of the push and pull and erases the non-existent gap between them. Jennie kisses her hard and in a matter of seconds, her tongue invites itself in, and Lisa has officially lost her sanity.

 

Lisa moves her hands, slithering them up to remove the girl’s coat and once it falls to the floor, she grips, with both her hands, the latter’s petite waist, pressing them together roughly causing the latter to yelp and she pulls back a little.

 

“Your heart is beating crazy fast…” Jennie murmurs against the latter’s lips. Lisa, however, doesn’t answer and bites onto the brunette’s lower already swollen lip, then reattaches their lips together and their lips never left each other to begin with.

 

Feeling like she’s about to explode soon, she fully wraps her arms around Jennie, hugging her and the latter fits just right. Jennie drapes her arms around the girl’s neck.

 

Lisa takes it as her signal to go on.

 

Her lips trail down the girl’s cheek, jaw, lingering on each area momentarily. Jennie clearly expected the latter to move down to her neck because she tilts her head back for Lisa, leaving her marked neck exposed.

 

She has lost herself in the moment, her head swims but nonetheless, she easily latches her mouth to the delicate area, leaving new and fresh imprints of her lips there. Jennie moans and it sends her to pure ecstasy, not only her but Lisa too. The sound was music, if not heaven to Lisa’s ears.

 

_Fresh flowers._

Jennie’s scent is intoxicating and Lisa can’t get enough of the heavenly aroma.

 

Lisa can finally breathe again.

 

She feels awakened and reborn anew.

 

Every useless thought she held onto, every day and night she spent overthinking disappeared along with her disappearance in the melting kiss. After a month of suffocating, of hurting, of just being in plain pain, Lisa feels alive again. She has missed this warm, fuzzy feeling, the feeling of being in love again…

 

Jennie’s right hand curl tightly into Lisa’s hair and reconnects their lips, more urgent and sloppier this time.

 

The only problem is, she isn’t in love.

 

She is simply kissing a stranger… a _stranger_. How can she possibly kiss a stranger with this much fiery and passion? But the stranger’s name is Jennie. And _Jennie_ is driving her insane and it’s ridiculous, but it’s ridiculously exciting.

 

Jennie is the one who chooses to pull away, thoroughly out of breath, but Lisa eagerly chases after her lips with her eyes closed, needing more of them, but when she doesn’t reach the other pair, she opens her eyes slowly.

 

Lisa nearly has a heart attack, if only it was possible to have one at this moment because Jennie is smiling. The girl who only smirked smiled at her, and it’s such a lovely and genuine smile. It sends her a tingling, fluttery feeling in the stomach as Lisa is in awe at the sight before her.

 

They can only gaze at each other with half-lidded eyes, breathing laboriously with no words exchanged.

 

Jennie clears her throat and speaks up, letting her arms fall to the sides. “I need to go…”

 

Lisa too releases her arms around Jennie and it’s only now she realizes she hugged the latter too tight and too high, obviously, because the girl had been tiptoeing all the while to kiss her. Lisa chuckles, seeing her heels drop down and Jennie raises her brow at the latter.

 

“It’s nothing,” she says, stepping away to the left, away from the cramped space, bypassing Jennie to pick up the latter’s fallen coat. Her heart still out of control and her breathing has yet to get back to normal.

 

“Fuck…”

 

Lisa’s heart drops, coming back to her senses and she’s back to her own self.

 

Jennie is regretting it. Thus, Lisa has no choice but to come to her defense really quick.

 

“Don’t worry. It’s only a one night stand, we won’t see each other again,” she assures Jennie, but she isn’t sure if she’s assuring herself or the latter by saying that.

 

The brunette hangs the coat over Jennie’s shoulder, the latter still has her back turned to her, before going to the front door, opening it for Jennie.

 

No more words are said as Jennie takes her phone and picks up her purse. Lisa almost whimpers when the other brunette steps out of the apartment but what she doesn’t expect is for her to turn around, cup Lisa’s cheek and leave behind another trace of her lips making Lisa shut her eyes automatically.

 

_Fresh flowers._

Definitely intoxicating.

 

She separates, her lips still slightly parted. “Merry Christmas, Lisa.”

 

“Merry Christmas… _J_.”

 

Putting a gap between them, Jennie shakes her head, snorting when hearing her being called J and not Jennie. Though it doesn’t take long enough until she flashes Lisa a smile, her gums showing type of smile and perhaps it’s too cute seeing that Lisa sighs fondly, mesmerized by the sight and melting inside.

 

The brunette waves and heads down the stairs. Before disappearing, she looks up at Lisa one last time. Even when she was gone, her footsteps are still distinct but Lisa doesn’t wait on hearing the sound fade, instead, she closes the door and locks it. Her back immediately leans against the door and her hand on her chest, breathing, just breathing.

 

What just happened?

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Be prepared, seriously. Things are about to happen now.
> 
> Hope you guys enjoyed the chapter though and thanks for following this story though it had a little changing all of a sudden.


	3. Part Three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This has yet to be proofread nor edited. Bare with this for the moment.

Lisa was having a hard time hiding the non-ceasing hickeys, especially on her neck. Contouring her body part every single day for the past week has been exhausting. Some days she just wanted to be free from putting contour on them and stay locked inside her apartment but that wasn’t acceptable apparently. Because Jisoo and Seulgi, or just Jisoo or Seulgi alone would be visiting her, too often she must say, or she would get called in for work because someone got ill.

 

It was already tiring enough to spend days and nights explaining to her friends where she disappeared to on the night of Christmas Eve. Obviously, she lied to them but they weren’t buying it, at all. However, when they almost did, her bloody hickeys came to life in front of their eyes. It was an accidental show as she forgot to hide them, wearing a t-shirt when she usually wears a hoodie. She would never in her right mind show them her hickeys. And it gets her to where she is right now, on the couch with both of them as they examine her hickeys sharply and closely, and she was forced to be half naked.

 

“Who gave you these? Actually, no, who did you sleep with?” Jisoo asks, more like interrogating her. “Oh, my God, don’t even tell me, I don’t want to know.”

 

“Your body… it’s–” Seulgi is at loss of words after having scanned Lisa from head to toe.

 

“I know, I know, I know,” Lisa says. “It’s awful and I’m sorry for keeping this a secret but I didn’t think it would be such a big deal. It’s not the first time I slept with someone. I’ve slept with… you know, Chaeyoung.”

 

They still on hearing the taboo name.

 

“It’s a difference. Sleeping with someone once and sleeping with someone you, well, love can’t be compared,” Seulgi tells her, trying not to hit the wrong buttons.

 

“In my defense, I didn’t do anything wrong, okay?” Lisa slips back on her t-shirt.

 

“We’re not saying you did anything wrong, the person who did this to you is at fault. For taking advantage of you in your drunken state, that is,” Jisoo says seriously.

 

“Don’t blame the person I slept with,” she says. “I may not remember the one night stand but I was still there and I, uh, I _know_ the name of the girl I slept with.” Lisa scratches her forehead with her index finger.

 

“Who?” Jisoo asks whilst Seulgi focuses on her, remaining silent and waits for her to answer.

 

“I promise I’ll tell you guys one day, just not today.”

 

“Is it because we know that person? We won’t judge you, Lisa, if that’s what you’re thinking.”

 

“Maybe, I don’t know, I barely know the person myself. And I’m not afraid you’ll judge me. I just… uh, need to find this girl first. To clarify some things between us…” She purses her lips into a thin line.

 

What is there to even clarify?

 

***

 

New Year’s passed and they met for the second time. It felt like magic. Lisa only had to think of her, she thought of her a lot, and she would appear in front of her eyes.

 

Lisa was standing beside her college friend, Minatozaki Sana, a Japanese beauty, browsing through the books in the vast library but when she quickly turned her head to see who was approaching them from the left, familiarity stroke her. Lisa turned her head fully to watch the other student, not knowing who it was yet, ignoring Sana who was blabbering about her upcoming date with Kim Dahyun.

 

The student’s head went down and upwards on the opposite shelf, probably searching for a specific book and didn’t see Lisa yet. But when the student _did_ , her eyes found its way to Lisa in an instant, Lisa didn’t miss the slight widening in her eyes. Nonetheless, Lisa widened her eyes wide.

 

It was surreal, it still is and Lisa can’t believe she’s seeing Jennie here and now.

 

For how long have they been enrolled in the same college without knowing of each other’s existence? That’s her question.

 

Her amazing brown, catlike eyes stares at Lisa causing her heart to twist in all kinds of ways whilst running a hand through her hair. She radiates with elegance, unlike the last time as this time she is properly dressed and hickeys obviously hidden under the turtleneck sweater of hers, and without a doubt enticed the latter. A sensual and dangerous aura blooms around her making her inapproachable but at the same time very tempting.

 

What she doesn’t expect is for Jennie roll her eyes and look away before walking past the two students.

Lisa breathes, slightly confused and _bothered_ but still manages to breathe composedly.

 

This isn’t how she expected their second meeting to be like. Not that she expected them to see each other _at all_ after their first encounter. Or should she say, one night stand?

She doesn’t know what she expected to be honest.

 

She didn’t really expect Jennie to come up to her and kiss her out of nowhere, or maybe she did. She didn’t really expect Jennie to at least greet her, or maybe she did. She didn’t really expect Jennie to do anything, but maybe she did. Lisa expected something, but something can be nothing.

 

“You’re not listening to me,” Sana whines and it pulls Lisa back.

 

She turns her head to pay attention to her college friend, only to find her pouting. “Sorry.”

 

“I’ll accept your apology if you buy me a drink,” she says, a cheeky smile is now on her face.

 

Lisa sighs. “Fine,” she agrees. “We both need refreshing drinks anyway.” She swipes the book she’s been looking for from the shelf. “Bring this back to the table and I’ll see you in a min.”

 

“You’re the best!” She grins, taking the book from Lisa’s grasp and skips away.

 

Lisa walks the opposite direction. Her thoughts… more specifically, her thoughts concerning Jennie lingers in her head, like an annoying buzzing bee that just doesn’t want to disappear. She keeps asking herself why Jennie avoided her or Lisa’s just plain dumb and should already know the answer to that. Maybe the latter finally realized what they did after Christmas Eve was a huge mistake, an interaction between them that should’ve never occurred in the first place, and that she’s regretting every single thing– _kiss_. And she simply hates Lisa because she’s the one to blame.

 

That’s a load of bullshit if that’s the case.

 

Lisa, for a fact, isn’t the one to blame. It’s Jennie. Lisa hates blaming other people but seriously, Jennie is the one who caused everything to go from 0 to 100. If she had only left the apartment when Lisa had demanded her, everything would be _fine_. Lisa wouldn’t have to go around moping, letting a stranger whom she knows nothing about besides her lips and… _body_ occupy her daily thoughts. But then again, if she hadn’t been thinking of Jennie then Chaeyoung would still on this day remain in her head. And It’s not like she has already forgotten about her ex although that would be perfect because she doesn’t want to be in pain anymore, her heart still aches of the mentioning of Chaeyoung, at the same time as it beats erratically.

 

She heads toward the door, but to her surprise, she finds Jennie and Jennie’s eyes find Lisa’s but it’s quickly withdrawn. She’s not alone is the first thing Lisa notices. The brunette is leaning with her back against a bookshelf with a really tall guy in front of her. She’s smiling, a smile that Lisa had seen that day and a smile that had been directed to her. Their proximity tells her that they’re much more than friends. And she doesn’t have to ask to know because Jennie strides up to the guy, getting even closer, and seizes the latter by his neck, pushing him down to her height and their mouth crash into each other in a heated kiss. His hands trail down her slender waist and his right-hand goes even further, grabbing her buttock and gives it a squeeze.

 

Lisa’s heart cracks a bit, a feeling she is familiar with but somehow very unfamiliar, and Lisa feels it all.

 

She spoke too early.

 

She drops her eyes elsewhere, down to the ground, to the shelves, to the students studying by the tables near the wall. Anywhere but them. Before she can reach them, she suddenly turns and gets in between two shelves, taking a much-needed detour but unnecessary.

 

She releases the clenching knuckles as they’ve turned crayon white and her palms were starting to hurt because of her nails digging into her skin.

 

This is not going to be a Chaeyoung part 2. Not that it was going to be one but still.

 

Using her extremely tall legs and she’s quite thankful of them, she rushes out of the library with a heavy heart and her breathing is burdensome. Lisa is in need of punching something now and she eyes the lockers but her sanity is still attached thus she never hits anything. Though she senses something bad will unfold if she sees Jennie’s face again that is likely to happen.

 

She’s so worked up for a stranger and it’s ridiculous, ridiculously tiring.

 

She shakes her head and tries to retain her many sighs but they come out either way. Nonetheless, she arrives at the vending machine that sell drinks. She types in the code for two Sprites and then she stuffs her hands in her pockets in search for spare cash but doesn’t find anything. Her pockets are empty, too empty and only now does she realize she left her spare cash in her bag that is currently sitting on the chair in the library… with Sana.

 

“Why is this happening to me?” She groans. “ _Fucking_ great, _fucking_ piece of shit, _fucking_ J–”

 

She doesn’t say the last word, barely says the first letter when she sees a hand putting in coins for her. She whips her head to the left, maybe too quick, and she’s about to get a headache, a severe one upon seeing who’s next to her. Perhaps she needs to visit the nurse. Perhaps…

 

“You curse a lot.”

 

The sprites come rolling down but Lisa doesn’t bother retrieving them and decides on walking away, away from hell, away from the demon that stood beside her.

 

“Get the fuck away from me.”

 

She laughs. How can she laugh right now?

 

“Slow down, I can’t keep up with you otherwise.” She hears the voice from behind and hell is approaching Lisa slowly, footstep by footstep.

 

“Are you incompetent to understand, _Jennie_?” Her eyes remain straightforward and just walks.

 

They have bystanders who watch them closely and Lisa mentally curses. Not only are there people staring at them but she’s going the wrong direction. She’s going further and further away from Sana. So, she stops and goes the other way, bypassing Jennie without a look on her. She doesn’t get far though when her arm is jerked back and one second she’s in the corridor with other students and the next she’s in a locked, extremely cramped bathroom with Jennie, the demon herself.

 

“Move.” She glares at the shorter brunette, trying to remove her from blocking the door but she doesn’t budge.

 

“What’s with the rush?” She smirks and Lisa’s has had enough with her childish, very immature side. Done with being played and toyed around obviously.

 

“For fuck’s sake, move!” She grabs a hold of Jennie’s arm, pushing her away harshly causing Jennie to fly to the sink, hitting her arm in the process. She whimpers and Lisa’s eyes shoot to Jennie instantaneously, softness replacing her irritation.

 

“I– sorry,” she apologizes immediately. “You… should’ve moved when I told you to.”

 

“Doesn’t mean you have to be violent.” Jennie stares up at Lisa and Lisa can feel her sinking to the ground but in reality, she isn’t.

 

“I know and I’m sorry. It’s a genuine apology,” she says. “but stay away from me, I’m not joking around. I don’t fuck with people that are cheaters.”

 

She raises her brow at Lisa, smiling but it’s not the same bubbly smile she saw before. “You fucked me, remember?”

 

“I…” Her eyes going around in the bathroom even though there’s not much to see but it’s better than staring into Jennie’s. “was not thinking straight. I was drunk– I’ve already explained it to you once before.”

 

“You did.” She nods. “but you can’t deny the fact that we kissed, actually I don’t think kissed is the right word. We _made out_ the day after and you were _fully_ conscious of your actions.”

 

“What we did is in the past and it _will_ stay in the past because everything was a mistake, a shameful mistake that I’m regretting now and you should too. So, your point is?”

 

Jennie takes a step and another, and it reminds her so much of the day after Christmas Eve.

 

 _Fresh flowers_.

 

Screw this intoxicating aroma.

 

“Kiss me, Lisa.”

 

“What? No.” She shakes her head frantically. “You’re too much, and very shameless. Go kiss your boyfriend or something, instead of kissing a stranger, and leave me alone while you’re at it.” She points her index finger at Jennie’s face. “Let’s not do this.”

 

Lisa spins around and unlocks the door, and pretty much sprints away and this time she’s heading off in the right direction.

 

***

 

Lisa types in the last sentence of the document before stretching her arms upwards and yawns. Afterward, she rubs her face with her palms, trying to rub the exhaustion away. She looks to the side and sees Sana sleeping, her arms on the table and her cheek on top of them.

 

Maybe suggesting finishing their project that isn’t due until next month is a bit overextending as they’ve trapped themselves inside the college’s library ever since their last lecture of the day. However, she didn’t know it would take so long to complete the project as she gazes out from the window. The sun has already set and the night sky has taken over for the evening, and it was snowing.

 

She shuts her laptop closed and doesn’t bother proofreading because if she does, her mind will go nuts. The brunette cracks her head from right to left as she raises herself from the chair that has made her bottom gone numb.

 

Out of nowhere, Sana’s phone vibrates continuously on the table causing Lisa to drop her eyes on the object.

 

“Sana.” She gives it a try to wake up her college friend, shaking her body. Sana answers with a muffled grumble. “Your phone is ringing.”

 

Her eyes still closed, she stretches out her arm and her hand unfolds. Lisa shakes her head, smiling but instead of placing the phone in her hand, she picks it up for her and places it to her ear. Sana, however, excuses herself to take the call and even though Lisa doesn’t mind, Sana is used to being like this. So, the latter leaves and Lisa’s all by herself. Well, not entirely all alone. There are a few students left in the library who are still studying intensely.

 

Her stomach growls and she licks her lips, remembering that she never got Sana and herself a drink because of a certain someone and due to the non-stop studying session they’ve had, they haven’t eaten. Studying with an empty stomach is bad but not keeping yourself hydrated is even worse, and Lisa needs both to function. But leaving their stuff unattended is a bit risky thus she has no choice but to wait for Sana to finish her phone call.

 

She rubs her face with both of her palms, trying to diminish the fatigue from studying too much. She inevitably yawns causing a tiny droplet of a tear to roll down from her left eye. Quickly wiping it away, she sinks further down on the chair, her legs stretching.

 

Closing her eyes briefly, she mutters. “Fuck it.” She needs coffee, food, something before she dozes off in the college’s library. And besides, it’s after all dinner time.

 

She grabs her backpack from the table, swiftly shoving the laptop inside along with the books that are essentials for the assignment. She closes her backpack and proceeds on packing up Sana’s stuff for her, which wasn’t much. Once she was done, she slings her backpack over her shoulder but grunts and falters, almost. Lisa completely forgot how heavy the backpack was with all books inside. Nevertheless, she slides her arm through the other strap of the backpack and places it on top of her shoulder. Double checking, she checks her surroundings to see if has forgotten anything and afterwards, she quickly sends her friend a text saying to call her before grabbing Sana’s bag and walks out of the library.

 

 _Fresh flowers_.

 

“I thought I told you to leave me alone.”

 

Lisa doesn’t need to turn around to see who is following her.

 

“Me neither,” she says, her voice low. “I’m not joking around.”

 

“What?”

 

Lisa halts her movements and turns around, finding the petite girl in front of her and a few feet away. She isn’t as close as she used to be.

 

She stares up at Lisa, meeting the latter’s gaze. “I may have a boyfriend but that doesn’t mean everything I do is a joke.”

 

“What?”

 

“And I was serious. I can make you forget about her.”

 

“Are you high?” Lisa questions, her brow raising.

 

“I think I’m falling for you, Lisa.”

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm just going to say it right away. I thank you all for commenting and for making my day, seriously. Even though I am having doubts about myself and about my writing, you manage to keep me here. You have no idea how much it means to me that you guys give me a little bit of your time to comment. Thank you and I can't say it enough!
> 
> For all of you who wants me to update faster, I try, I really do but life and work is getting in my way.
> 
> I hope you enjoyed this chapter nonetheless.


	4. Part Four

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This has yet to be proofread nor edited. Bare with this for the moment.

“Eh…” she trails off, feeling the discomfort of being confessed to, but it’s a confession she can’t believe. It’s impossible.

 

“You don’t believe me, don’t you?” Jennie crosses her arms over her chest. “Then how do you explain my heart?”

 

The short latter unwraps her arms, letting them fall to the sides before taking a step forward. She reaches out for Lisa’s unoccupied hand, hesitates for a second, searching for any building anger in Lisa’s eyes, but Lisa’s calm and doesn’t resist which is surprising. She lets Jennie take a hold of her hand, skin to skin, and places it carefully on her chest, where her heart beats. Her hand remains on top of Lisa’s hand.

 

Jennie speaks the truth.

 

Her heart pounds quickly, too rapid, against her chest wall. It thumps against Lisa’s palm and she can feel every single beat of the latter’s heart as if it’s her own heart. Speaking of her own heart, her heart jumps up a notch and the sound of it reaches her ears.

 

Before Lisa can get trapped again, she removes her hand and slowly backs away. Her right hand, the hand that previously touched Jennie’s chest and felt her uncalming heart, twitches on the sides as she’s unable to calm her own heart.

 

“It doesn’t… have to mean anything,” she says, breathing.

 

“In denial…” Jennie snorts, looking down on the tiled floor briefly before drifting her eyes up. “Still not believing me?

 

“I don’t.” She shakes her head slowly whilst trying to read the latter but she shows no signs of amusing expressions. No expressions whatsoever. Jennie’s face remains straight and Lisa still denies what could be the truth. “You’re quite the jokester, you know? I’m not having this silly conversation with you because you’re _not_ falling for me. You can’t have possibly fallen in love with me whom you haven’t even known for barely a day.”

 

“Are you always this of an asshole when you speak to people?” She raises her brow, starting to look annoyed.

 

“Don’t you pull that card on me,” Lisa retorts, rage swimming behind her eyes.

 

“I’m serious.” Lisa watches Jennie closing the gap between them, but not too close and not too far away. At least this time she knows what distance means. “You’re a horrible, _violent_ , rude asshole and I can’t help but worry about your friends. I hope for your own good that you fix that attitude and personality of yours.”

 

“Pardon?” She chokes out, utterly bewildered.

 

“A complete bitch.”

 

It hits her like a splash of melting lava, assaulting her soul in a way that makes her feel like she’s being trampled down to the very core of Earth. The ugliness of Jennie’s statement catches her off guard and intentionally pushes the very wrong buttons, pushing Lisa to her edge and she’s so close to going off on the poor girl. Her piercing, round brown eyes look at the latter in utter and pure disgust.

 

Enraged and sanity lost, no longer in her right mind, she brutally takes a hold of Jennie’s wrist and brings her dangerously close to her.

 

“What did you say?” She’s bitter, to say the least.

 

“I tell you… violent.”

 

“Fuck you.”

 

With that, Lisa takes off but she doesn’t get anywhere when Jennie, being so infuriating already speaks up.

 

“Walking away won’t make me disappear.”

 

Lisa ignores her.

 

“Chaeyoung walked away the same way you’re doing right now, didn’t she? Running away from her problems, disappearing without a word, it’s a common thing.”

 

She erupts. It triggers her and without knowing what she’s doing, Lisa goes back and drags the latter along for a walk, holding onto her wrist too tight, not realizing that the girl is in pain. She finds a vacant bathroom, surprisingly it’s the same bathroom she had been dragged inside earlier today, and locks both of them in there.

 

Lisa, the captor, slams the petite girl against the locked door with more force than necessary after having thrown all her belongings including Sana’s on the floor. Evident pain shoots through Jennie’s body as she whimpers due to the brutal impact.

 

“I’m about to wring your neck in two.” Lisa glares down at the girl, holding her tight by the shoulders. “ _Never_ mention Chaeyoung–”

 

Abruptly, Jennie pushes herself to her toes to match her height with Lisa’s and clasps the latter’s face with both hands, her eyes closing and her lips, not Lisa’s, crashes onto the brunette’s. She kisses her with so much heat and steam whilst Lisa bulges her eyes widely. She is completely taken off guard by Jennie’s sudden action thus she pulls her away.

 

“What–”

 

Jennie doesn’t care, cutting her off and presses her lips back against the taller ones. It quickly turns into a heated kiss, slipping her tongue past Lisa’s lips and it lights a burning sensation within Lisa. Her arms are around the latter’s neck securely, her right-hand threads into Lisa’s hair whilst Lisa’s arms automatically have found themselves pinching the hem of Jennie’s sweatshirt. She slips it up a bit and like a magnetic force, she grasps the bare skin under the clothing with a haste. Tracing the line of Jennie’s waist with her left index finger before inching to her back. Her palm attaches to the body part and so does her other palm and delicately moves her hands up and down, not getting enough of the soft bareness.  

 

Even though Jennie initiated the kiss, she withdrew shortly, probably starting to feel the lightness in her head – the outcome of being robbed of fresh air.

 

Lisa tilts her head up, peaking at Jennie and her now swollen lips. But lust and _hunger_ still wash over her as she, with quick hands, easily discards the latter’s sweatshirt with no resistant from Jennie, desiring to do more than just kissing. Even if it has to be in this dirty, cramped bathroom, and _even_ if it has to be with a cheater. She’s too aroused to deny the latter in front of her, her pride long gone and her enormous ego taking over.

 

“I hate you,” Lisa repeats before latching her swollen, quite hot lips on the other brunette’s neck with vanishing hickeys, trailing down small, gentle pecks.

 

“You’re a fucking hypocrite,” she retorts, jaw clenching but moans nevertheless.

 

Lisa is about to mark her territory when Jennie forces the latter away by the shoulders, setting a small gap between them.

 

“No…” Jennie’s chest rises up and down as she speaks.

 

Lisa doesn’t say anything else and moves forward, erasing the minimum distance. They look at one another all the while. Desire, _longing_ and a speck of thrill burn in their brown eyes. Staring at Jennie up close, her facial features come to life and the mole under her left eyebrow is without a doubt unmissed, and her eyes are ethereal. Lisa can’t deny it. She really is beautiful. Lisa _really_ can’t deny it.

 

One hand supports Jennie from the back whilst one hand skims her front, touching her skin featherly light and there’s a sharp inhale from the latter. Then, Lisa kisses her on the edge of her mouth before fully seizing her lips. Kissing every small spot on her upper lip before doing the very same on the bottom lip – the most detailed and teasing kiss.

 

That is until she becomes aware of what she is doing.

 

She used to kiss Chaeyoung the same way she is kissing Jennie right now… she used to touch Chaeyoung the same way she is touching Jennie…

 

_Chaeyoung…_

 

Thus, she gradually breaks apart from Jennie, sighing and her eyes fluttered closed. She removes her hands too and lets them fall to the sides.

 

“We shouldn’t be doing this– I shouldn’t be doing this,” Lisa says whilst prying her eyes open and picks up the fallen sweatshirt, avoiding any eye contact with the latter in front of her.

 

Jennie exhales tiredly, rushing a hand through her silky hair. “Whatever.”

 

She’s mad.

 

“I’m amazed how you can be such an asshole one second and then all of a sudden become this soft, pretending to care,” she mockingly comments. “No wonder Chaeyoung left.”

 

In a haste, Lisa meets the same catlike eyes she saw the morning after Christmas Eve. The cold ones that made her falter under the gaze. But Lisa doesn’t as she stands on her ground and grits her teeth.

 

She grabs her stuff and for the second time today, she shoves Jennie away but this time she doesn’t care. “Move.”

 

Unlocking the door, she rushes out and goes back to the library to search for Sana whom she has forgotten about all this time. But a hand, Jennie’s hand to be specific, catches her by the wrist, stopping her dead in her tracks. She slips away from the latter’s grip and turns around, looking her dead in the eyes. The latter crosses her arms over her chest.

 

“Where are you going?” The familiar smirk is back.

 

“To get the fuck away from you,” she bitterly says before stomping the other way, not wanting to go to the library anymore. She just needs to leave, get away from Jennie and she’ll be fine.

 

“You say you want me to leave, you want to get away from me but then you kiss me and then you stop, reminding yourself that it’s wrong,” she says. “But it starts all over again, like a never-ending circle. Because that’s how pathetic we both are.”

 

Lisa stills and swirls around, pointing her finger at Jennie’s face. “Don’t put me in the same category as you. You’re a fucked up person, toying around with me when you clearly are in a relationship. _You_ should be the one who needs to fix your fucking personality and attitude… asap.”

 

“I’m perfectly fine with the way I am.”

 

“I– I… have no _words_ for you!” She’s so goddamn tongue-tied because of how stupid Jennie is behaving. “You’re like a fucking brat with a big ass ego!”

 

“Don’t be a hypocrite.” Jennie shakes her head.

 

“Oh _please,_ If I’m a hypocrite then you’re fucking worse than that.”

 

Jennie caresses Lisa’s cheek and without any effort on her side, she traps Lisa. “You’ll fall for me eventually.”

 

Lisa hasn’t realized she’s standing close to the latter as she’s practically breathing down on her, resentment running in her eyes but even then, she can’t do a single thing to her. Because what Jennie is saying is partially right. Yes, she can be an asshole one second and then turn very soft the next. She wasn’t like this before but she’s been having these crazy mood swings ever since Chaeyoung left, it’s like a permanent scar her ex left behind. And being an asshole is the only way she can defend herself from getting hurt. It’s her defense mechanism.

 

“Babe?”

 

Lisa hears a very deep, husky voice behind Jennie. She takes a step back but doesn’t spare any glances to the guy coming through the library doors as her eyes remain gazing into the catlike ones. But when Jennie turns around, to meet the person approaching them, only then does she look up. It’s the same tall guy she saw earlier. The same guy who kissed Jennie in the library, which is inappropriate to do, and the same guy who grabbed her ass in front of Lisa.

 

Lisa shoots him a glare for interrupting their conversation that she didn’t want to have, but her eyes immediately go back to normal.

 

Why does she even bother caring? It’s _their_ relationship.

 

“You ready to go?” he asks but he finds Lisa, his eyes landing on the latter. “ _Oh_ , you have company.” His voice is rather monotone.

 

“Yeah,” Jennie answers and she doesn’t bother looking at Lisa anymore. “But we were just done talking. Let’s go.”

 

She intertwines her fingers with the guy’s and just like that, she walks away with him. They bypass Lisa whilst the latter stays completely frozen until her phone starts ringing, bringing her out of her trance.

 

“There you are.” She hears Sana from a distance and her phone gets quiet.

 

She looks over to Sana who’s striding up to her with a smile on her face but Lisa can’t seem to smile. She is agitated and it feels like an itch that doesn’t want to disappear, feeling it all over her body. To say that she’s irritated would be an understatement – she’s furious, but only when she’s around Jennie apparently. The girl brings the worst sides out of Lisa.

 

Lisa should be glad that the obnoxious stranger and the boyfriend are gone but she isn’t, she _can’t_.

 

“Thanks for grabbing my stuff.” She retrieves her stuff from Lisa who smiles thinly. “You look mad.” Sana furrows her brows.

 

“I’m not…” she remarks, a bit tired. “Anyways, I’m running late for work. But I’ll see you tomorrow?” She’s lying.

 

“ _If_ you show up you mean,” she says, correcting Lisa.

 

Lisa manages to let out a short laugh. “Yeah.”

 

Lisa hasn’t worked in a while, for a month, ever since Chaeyoung left. It’s funny how everything stopped being normal after her ex left, how she stopped working, barely attended her lectures, barely saw her friends. But her friends invited themselves to be with her. It’s amazing how one person has this much control over her and her life.

 

However, after this incident with Jennie, after getting so worked up, she’s in dire to get her thoughts elsewhere. Hanging out with Jisoo and Seulgi will only give her a headache but at work, no one question her anything, it’s work.

 

***

 

It’s the end of Lisa’s shift. She unties her apron, replacing it with her black coat from the hook and checks the place for the second time before trudging up the stairs to Jessi’s office, her employer. Only to discover the owner sleeping soundly through the opened door to her office. Her arm is on the desk and her head resting on her arm.

 

Being the little prankster Lisa is, she walks up to the older woman and pinches her nose closed until Jessi is woken up quite alarmed. She looks around frantically as if it’s a burglar breaking in. The bartender chuckles when her employer discovers it’s only Lisa here with her and falls back on the chair.

 

“I’m going to kill you one day.”

 

“Easy tiger. Just wanted to wake you up,” she says, leaning back on the desk.

 

“At least wake me up the way a normal person would do,” she retorts, glaring.

 

“Where’s the fun in that?” She shrugs and raises herself up from the desk, kissing the top of Jessi’s head, “Anyways, now that you’re awake, I’m gonna head home. I’ve cleaned the place, so don’t worry about that and I’ll see you some other time?” Lisa yawns, “Yeah, If I stay here a second longer, I think I’ll pass out.”

 

Jessi shakes her head whilst the latter move towards the door and says, “Don’t force yourself to work. I know what you’re going through and you shouldn’t have to but I understand. Take care of yourself, Lisa. I care about you.”

 

Lisa gives her a peace sign, not answering due to the troubling thoughts intruding her mind again and heads down the stairs, letting herself out in the frigid weather and the cold immediately nips her bare face.

 

“Shit…” Her body shudders and she tucks her chin down to her neck whilst closing her coat, wrapping her arms around herself.

 

Having walked in the cold, her teeth chattering and almost arriving at her apartment building, she halts her movements as it hits her big time. She totally forgot to buy pain relief patches for her neck and now that she’s remembering, her neck is also remembering its irritation.

 

Groaning, she has no choice but to travel to the nearest opened pharmacy to retrieve some patches for her neck. Whilst she’s there, she asks the old man behind the counter to put the patches on her with an awkward smile on her face. He chuckles causing her cheeks to turn a hue of pink as he helps her out.

 

Reason to why she asked is because she’s going to have a hard time putting them on by herself otherwise and will accidentally paste it on her hair.

 

Anyways she’s glad that she won’t have to wake up with soreness around her neck at least. A soreness that appeared after half of a day of being a bartender. It’s a common thing for Lisa when she hasn’t done anything productive for a long time. Work is one of them.

 

As she exits the store, her ringtone startles her. Occupied with getting the phone out, she fails to remember the little spot of ice right outside the building and slips, falling down to her butt. She cries in pain and quickly rubs her suffering butt cheeks.

 

She’s officially annoyed, not that it’s something new, and gets up on her two feet with the help of her hands, removing herself from the slippery spot. Dusting off the dirt that got to her jeans, she, later on, grabs out the phone that has stopped ringing and checks the caller. Lisa raises her eyebrow in confusion. Jinyoung rarely calls her, but if he _does_ call her, then there’s some shit going down. Thus, she calls him back directly.

 

“You called?”

 

“ _Lisa?_ ” He sounds panicked, “ _You need to come here… We- Stop… stop it. Calm the fuck down, Bambam! Anyways, just do me a favor and come to Bambam’s house. It’s_ urgent _._ ”

 

Jinyoung hangs up on her before she can get another word in. Hanging up without a single goodbye makes her just want to turn the other way and walk home. It’s rude and she doesn’t tolerate impoliteness especially if someone’s asking for a _favor,_ but then there’s _Jennie_. However, as the word means, it’s a favor and who is she to turn down a favor? And it’s not like she can turn it down either, even if she wants to because it’s _Bambam_.

***

 

She arrives at Bambam’s house in no time, knocking on the apartment’s front door hard and repetitive until she hears the door unlocking, the door cracking up and reveals Jinyoung. His hair is thrashed and a freshly opened wound on top of his right eyebrow, blood has trailed down his cheek and now dried.

 

“He’s at it again?” Jinyoung nods and Lisa invites herself in, shaking her head in disappointment but she’s also concerned over her friend. “What happened tonight? The usual?”

 

“Kind of. We were out for a couple of beers and then he gets a call, probably concerning the business. I guess something must’ve gone wrong or else he wouldn’t be like this. Anyhow, he got drunk, like really drunk and knowing how he is when he gets drunk, he got into a fight with an innocent person that walked passed him in the bar. So, the owner decided to throw us out, all of us, and then we got to his place,” he explains, touching his wound and winces. “Before we all can get inside his house, he’s already throwing things around and had a fit. First, it was at Mark and as you can see... me.”

 

Lisa nods and advances forward, drawing closer to the living room, her eyes bulging at the sight but she’s not surprised. It’s not out of the ordinary and a mess like this should be expected knowing Bambam has a temper of his own.

 

Everyone, who was here before Lisa, and is in the presence of Bambam have backed away, taking cover behind what’s left standing in the open space.

 

Bambam hasn’t taken notice of his friend yet, still busy with throwing things around and yelling, occasionally slamming his bloody fists on the wall then and now.

 

“Idiot…” she mutters low before clearing her throat, announcing her presence in the room. “Hey, asshole, what have you done to my friend?” The question goes to none other than Bambam himself.

 

Turning around, he can’t believe his eyes. “Who the fuck called Lisa?” He rages, pointing his finger at her whilst looking around, searching for the guilty one. “You motherfuckers can’t handle me, so you fucking called her for help?”

 

“Hey,” she says, firm and clear, and she’s surprisingly still calmed, especially after everything that happened today. “Pull yourself together. You’re drunk and a mess, and you have no idea what you’re saying right now. Stop.”

 

“Now who the fuck do you think you are that you have a say in this, huh? Go back to wherever you came from, probably licking Jessi’s pussy or whatever.” He smirks and laughs in a mocking manner afterward. “I mean, that’s what you’re famous for right? Fucking Jessi, so you can keep that pathetic bartender job of yours and while you’re at it, you probably fuck the other bartenders there. Fucking hoe, Lisa. No wonder Chaeyoung left you.”

 

The others around them gasp in horror and Lisa hears every harsh word he spits at her and she inhales and exhales deep. Briefly closing her eyes as she massages her eyes. When she reopens them, her eyes land immediately at the now hateful friend, glaring and practically digging him with her eyes.

 

People just love mentioning Chaeyoung to Lisa, using her greatest weakness against her.

                                                

“Don’t go there, Bambam.” She removes her coat, putting it somewhere safe.

 

“And what? Are you gonna scold me like you’re some fucking boss of mine and then beat the shit out of me like you do every other time? Come on, I dare you, punch me.”

 

Lisa clenches her knuckles whilst anger reached its peak. All riled up at her friend who is babbling nonsense, she decides to run up and throws a punch at his remarkably expensive face. In his intoxicated state, he doesn’t care if it’s Lisa, or if Lisa is a girl, as he also gets a punch in, his fist colliding with her cheek. The brunette stumbles but catches herself before she manages to trip over her own feet, falling down.

 

“I’m not gonna stand still and let you beat me up. I don’t care if you’re a girl, mess with Bambam, you mess with his fists.”

 

Her cheek is throbbing in pain but she tears her gaze from the ground and up to him and discovers him smirking. How does he have the audacity to smirk in this situation? And what is it with people smirking? First _Jennie_ … and now Bambam.

 

“You have a death wish or something?” Anger keeps churning within her, passing the peak, and she isn’t sure how much more of his temper she can tolerate. “If you have, then say so, because I’m _seriously_ on the fucking edge of making your death wish come true!”

 

Bambam proceeds to mock her, mimicking her voice and then says, “Shut the fuck up.”

 

Lisa doesn’t care anymore. Let hell go loose and have Bambam admitted to the hospital, that’s none of her concern anymore. She lunges at him, throwing another punch at his face, and another at his stomach, and another at his face again, but she’s on the receiving part too.

 

The both of them are bleeding wrecks when Mark and Jinyoung literally have to drag them apart from each other. Momo cries from afar and Jihyo tries to console her, her heart also breaking at the scene.

 

“Guys, that’s enough!” Jinyoung shouts, holding Lisa back but barely as he’s too shaken by the bloody sight before him, not thinking clearly.

 

Friends should care for each other, not fight each other. But it’s Lisa and Bambam, they take care of one another in their own special way.

 

Lisa hasn’t had enough seeing that Bambam still has the nerve to smirk with his left eye bruised and blood all over. Making Lisa want to pamper his God-given given face with even more bruises and blood.

 

“Mark, call the cops,” she says, quite drained, but even then, she slips away from Jinyoung and picks up a chair nearest her with her two hands. Mark, on the other hand, scurries to make the call without questioning. “If I end up killing you, I might as well turn myself in. And thank you for being my punching bag tonight, I’ve been so fucking angry today you have no idea. My feelings toyed with, people keep mentioning Chaeyoung, people keep smirking and J–”

 

She stops herself. In a blink of an eye, Lisa went from holding onto the chair to throwing it at Bambam with all strength she has left in her. He widens his eyes and promptly dodges the chair, crouching down and the object lands behind him. What he doesn’t know that Lisa has calculated it all. She knows that the human instinct is known to dodge things that are thrown at them.

 

Therefore, the moment she threw the chair, she took the chance and sprinted up to him, attacking him to the ground and takes him off guard as the two tumbles down on the floor.

 

She straddles him, her knees captivating his arms, not allowing him to defend himself and she lands one hard punch on his face, “What? Licking Jessi’s pussy?”

 

Two punches, “To keep my pathetic bartender job?”

 

Three punches and he bleeds non-stop, “How _dare_ you say such things when I come to your rescue _every_ _fucking time_. I could’ve easily ignored you when Jinyoung like every other time asks for help but I don’t.”

 

Four punches and his upper lip gets bust, “I don’t fuck anyone at my job because I have the basic decency to keep my workplace a workplace, not a place to fuck people, and I actually respect my co-workers unlike you who have no respect to anyone at all when you’re a fucking mess like you are right now.”

 

Five punches and he struggles to get out of her cage, “I’m not fucking thrash like you, treating your friends like their garbage, speaking to them as if they mean nothing to you. Don’t you have any remorse in you?”

 

Six punches and he looks to be done, his whole face bleeding and unrecognizable, “And I’m not a fucking _hoe_. What the fuck was that, Bambam?”

 

Seven punches, he’s about to faint. “Chaeyoung? _Why,_ why, why do you mention Chaeyoung? Stop mentioning her for fuck’s sake! Being my best friend you should know what mentioning her does to me!”

 

Eight punches, she needs the last one. “I hate you so much, Jennie.” It’s barely uttered out as she’s mumbling to herself.

 

She stops with her banter, breathing out heavily and barely lifts her shaking body up. Lisa has never gotten to this extent of beating Bambam up but the words got her, and it actually hurt her. She’s not sure if he means them or not but he said them, and nothing can change that.

 

She stands over Bambam’s body, he has lost his unconsciousness and the police arrive just in time, barging inside the now silent home. Seeing the mess, one of the officers take action forthwith, pushing Lisa against the wall and harshly moves her hands behind her back whilst the other one tends to Bambam’s injuries.

 

“You’re coming with me.”

 

***

 

Understanding that it was a brawl, a very carried away brawl between friends, the officers decided to let it go as Bambam has yet to press charges against her, but they still let Lisa spend the agonizing night at the police station to think over her actions. Whilst she was there, some helpful officer tended most of her injuries that night and she was grateful for the kind gesture. However, the officer insisted that she would still have to visit the hospital for a check-up the morning after.

 

She wouldn’t have done anything if Bambam _did_ press charges and would have just tagged along, rotting her time away in prison. She deserves getting locked up in prison, for what she did yesterday, regretting it after her anger was released on poor Bambam.

 

Lisa exits the police station, bidding goodbye to the officers and as she is walking down the stairs, a loud honk startles her causing her to scream. She looks around bewildered and discovers Jisoo’s car in the parking lot. Turning around, she tries to make an escape even though she’s freezing to death but withal her friend shouldn’t be taken for granted as she sees the little rat trying to sneak away and steps out of the vehicle.

 

“Lalisa,” Jisoo says and Lisa is terrified, almost pissing her pants. “ _Get in_!”

 

“No…” The younger one shakes her head swiftly, fear visible in her eyes but Jisoo couldn’t care any less, pointing downwards to her car. “I rather go back to the police station than get in the car.”

 

“I’m _not_ repeating myself.”

 

Lisa kicks a stone nearby before stomping her way to Jisoo like a child not getting what she wants.

 

***

 

They ended up driving directly to the hospital with Jisoo scolding her all the way there. She had heard what happened last night from Jinyoung who’s friends with her and life can only get better from there.

 

It’s irony of course.

 

Lisa nodded to everything her older friend had to say and didn’t say anything for the whole ride. Beating Bambam up and also getting beaten up herself was hard enough and getting scolded was not what she needed. She needs comfort and her warm bed, and Jisoo doesn’t provide either of them.

 

Jisoo makes a sharp turn causing the passenger beside her, right after having unlocked the seatbelt, to slide against the car window, hitting her head in the process. She pulls up in a parking lot belonging to a very familiar hospital and parks to the side as she waits for the white car ahead of her to back out of its slot. Once the car left, she parked her car.

 

“You’re such an asshole,” Lisa says, groaning and rubs her head in an attempt to diminish the irritating pain.

 

“You know, next time you should wait to take off the seatbelt. Accidents and _injuries_ can occur anytime.”

 

“I’m already injured for your information, at least have a little mercy on me.”

 

Jisoo rolls her eyes, grabbing her purse and climbs out of the vehicle. Lisa looks out from the window and up at the monumental glass-made building that possesses, what she recalls from back in the days when she used to visit the hospital quite often, twenty-two stories.

 

Lisa jumps out of the car, she grimaces when she’s hit with a wave of coldness and purses her lips. She waits for Jisoo to walk around the vehicle and with the older girl’s habit, she wraps her hand around the latter’s and they trudge inside the hospital.

 

They head up with the elevator a few floors and reaches the waiting area. Whilst Jisoo takes care of some papers for Lisa, the latter takes a seat on an empty chair. She slumps down and yawns. She hasn’t slept for more than three hours and desperately wants to rub her eyes but remembers about her freshly made injuries, she refrains herself. 

 

Lisa looks over to the desk where her employer stands, talking to the lady behind the desk but then Jisoo glances back over her shoulder and the brunette smiles at her but realizes it hurts to smile so the smile on her face disappears. Jisoo rolls her eyes once more and turns her head back.

 

But from a distance, a tall girl with light pink hair cries, looking over to Lisa with a heavy heart and her palm over her mouth, preventing herself from making any sound.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have no idea why this chapter was updated so fast but presumably because I was really into it, especially the ending.
> 
> So some new characters are being mentioned, but do remind yourself that they don't have a big part (I haven't decided yet) in the story, only the four girls. And I hope this chapter can redeem the last chapter and I hope you're all content with where this is going and that you're not too confused, or else I will have to change. So, feedback will actually help me.


	5. Part Five

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's 3:38 am and I just finished this chapter, if messy, then I apologize but I'll get to it in the morning. I promise. So with that being said, it's unedited and not proofread. Bare with this for the moment.
> 
> Notice 180810: I failed to keep my promise.

Lisa groans and squirms on the bad example of a chair. Sleeping on the floor in the police station did her no good as it only provided additional soreness to her body parts and as of now, she can’t help but wish for her bed, a comfy bed where can sleep away.

 

Whilst squirming around to find _the_ spot on the chair, in the corner of her eye, she spots someone. _The_ someone. Her eyes soften looking at her, her heart doesn’t feel as heavy, strangely. However, she barely recognizes her as she was a brunette only a month ago and now in light pink hair. It suits her, very well actually. But there’s one thing that doesn’t sit right with the girl in front of her… she’s crying.

 

“Chaeng…” she utters out low, not believing her eyes and automatically as if on cue, she raises herself up from the chair. The latter from afar notices, widening her eyes and quickly turns around, fleeing, like she did once before.

 

Lisa takes a difficult step and another, but she stops after two steps. She can’t find the strength, the courage to walk any further, as if there’s a transparent wall or someone holding her back, preventing her from moving. So, she fails to run after the girl she’s been desperately searching for. And now that she was right there, right in front of her brown eyes, she didn’t do _anything_.

 

For someone who got replaced by a particular vile girl for a couple of days – the memories and the thought of her instantly claimed its spot back in Lisa’s head.

 

Lisa knows she’s going to regret not running after her because she _is…_ regretting right now. Every second that ticks, every alarming second that passes by are causing her to feel more distressed than she is due to the fact that she’s not going after her. Why isn’t she?

 

Bloody hell, if it weren’t for the overthinking thoughts rushing through her mind, wrecking her more than it used to, she would be running after the one she loves. The one she desires. The one whom should be with her and no one else. The one who owns her heart. But because of the unnecessary thoughts, she can’t run after… an _engaged_ girl.

 

Lisa’s heart cracks, the sensation being the same as getting stabbed by a knife. She doesn’t know how it feels to literally be stabbed but she can guess.

 

Chaeyoung’s getting married. In less than two months. And there isn’t a single thing she can do to make her come back to her. Why is she being a complete wuss right now? It’s incredulous to be in the state she is in right now as less than 24 hours ago, she went through so many emotions people would think she is on her period daily.

 

Less than 24 hours ago, she was thinking of someone else, Jennie. She was missing Jennie, then hating Jennie and all of a sudden being violent against Jennie, and in the end, kissing Jennie, feeling so goddamn aroused that she didn’t think clearly. The same night she beats up her best friend to the point he’s unrecognizable and faints, and it’s partially because of her hatred towards Jennie. And now? She’s sentimental as ever, about to cry, about to break down yet again because she’s a fucking pathetic excuse of a human being that can’t go after Chaeyoung.

 

No wonder the latter left.

 

A sentence she has heard so many times before and only now does she say it to herself mentally. It provokes her, but instead of anger churning, she’s saddened, letting it punish her.

 

“You look like you’ve seen a ghost,” Jisoo’s voice interrupts, taking her back to reality, the harsh reality she is sadly living in. She dismisses her bitter, harming thoughts that are running amok in her head. Well, she tries. Not exactly successful.

 

“I… I’ll be right back. I need to visit the bathroom.” She comes up with a white lie and doesn’t hear the older latter calling for her as she scurries away in search of a missing girl. Beginning with short and rapid steps turns into a marathon race around the hospital.

 

With her adrenaline pumped up, she searches in every corner, from left to right, peeking into every room, almost bumping into some patients, visitors and even doctors all the while. Her mind isn’t in the right place and her eyes are frantic as she pursuits. All she hears and sees in her head is ‘Chaeyoung, Chaeyoung, Chaeyoung’.

 

Tears are building in the rims of her eyes unnoticeably causing her vision to get blurred and her breathing is getting uneven. Inwardly seething and cursing at herself for not going after Chaeyoung right away, a slip of tear trails its way down her bruised face. She’s on the verge of breaking down in front of all these people, right here and now, just falling down to her knees and cry aloud. If she does, she’ll condemn herself to hell for making such a dumb mistake.

 

She curses at the hospital for being enormous and for having long hallways with too many rooms on each side.

 

Beginning to think she’s going around in circles, she begins asking people if they’ve seen a girl with light pink hair and thankfully, they’ve seen. She’s hard to miss, especially with the hair color. They point to the direction they last saw her but some, the older women, stall her, asking her if she’s okay. She was crying and her face is bruised from the night before. She doesn’t want to be rude thus she explains, well she lies and once they don’t ask her more questions, she thanks them and bids them goodbye.

 

Running in the direction they all pointed, she runs and runs with no sense of direction. Just running, hoping and praying she’d find her. But if she did? What would she say? It’s not like she comes prepared to sudden situations like this.

 

She’s growing tired, already sleep-deprived and her stomach is growling as she hasn’t eaten anything yet.

 

She really made a big mistake not going after Chaeyoung right away.

 

When she thought of halting her search, she sees _the_ certain someone with fluttering light pink hair running away and rounding the corner. Lisa blinks away her tears and is quick with her tall legs, following her as she doesn’t want her to slip away once again. Once, twice but not thrice.

 

“Chaeyoung,” she says with difficulty due to the lack of oxygen.

 

Chaeyoung stills upon hearing her name and Lisa knows she heard her but the latter continues to flee.

 

“Park Chaeyoung!” She doesn’t care and shouts, although she shouldn’t knowingly she is currently at the hospital. She doesn’t only get attention from the girl she wants attention from but from the bypassing people too.

 

Chaeyoung eventually stops but Lisa doesn’t as she draws closer to the latter, but not too close as she’s afraid she’ll get pushed away.

 

“No, Lisa…” Slowly, Chaeyoung spins around to face Lisa.

 

“Disappearing for months and I don’t even get a hi? Is that what we’ve become now?”

 

Lisa is not about to get mad, she is not…

 

She gulps down but fresh tears are still at bay thus she tilts her head up, preventing them from rolling down. “I can’t do this…”

 

“What is ‘this’? We’re not doing _anything_ because you’re not willing to talk to me seeing that you fucking disappeared right in front of my eyes!” Her voice inescapably raised an octave. “Leaving a note…” Lisa’s voice cracks causing her to clench her jaw. “It wasn’t enough for you?”

 

A brief pause.

 

“Wasn’t I… enough for _you_?” She had no intention of confessing her thoughts as the latter before her doesn’t deserve them but it slipped right out and past her lips, not fully realizing what she had said until it was done.

 

Chaeyoung stares at her and she is staring back, not that her eyes had gone anywhere else.

 

“I mean… did I do anything wrong?” They’re both crying at this point. “I must have since you left me, left me with two words, Chaeyoung. ‘I’m sorry?’ For what?”

 

There’s an intake of air from Chaeyoung whilst tears roll down uncontrollably.

 

“And then you disappeared into thin air. I couldn’t contact you because you changed your number, I couldn’t find you either because you moved out of your apartment. You were gone _…_ and there was not a _single_ _thing_ I could do about it even though I wanted to.”

 

“Stop…” She cries out.

 

“So, I was in pain, I _am_ in pain and I cried, I still cry… I cried for a whole week after you left, wishing you would come back and tell me it was all a joke. But you didn’t so gradually, I started to hate you, I still hate you, and your disappearance got me to be so angry, beyond angry at times. I even got angry over the smallest things that could be easily fixed with words but I couldn’t contain my anger and look where it got me? Pitiful, right?”

 

She carefully wipes away her tears with her palms but they don’t stop.

 

“I kissed someone that wasn’t you for the first time, I even slept with that person and it was perfect,” A lie, a big lie and boasting about it is only hurting her. “I stopped thinking about you for _days_  but since you are you, the girl I…  _love_ , the thought of you rush its way back in and it messes everything up. I think of you so much to the point it actually ruins me but you? I don’t exist in your life anymore, I don’t have a place in your heart. That’s the sad truth.”

 

She inhales and exhales heavily.

 

“But what I don’t understand… what I can’t fucking understand even until now… the wedding invitation you sent me. Can you _please_ explain it to me? Explain _why_ I was invited, _why_ you decided to invite your ex, _why_ you’re getting married...” Lisa can’t contain her temper any longer. “and fucking _why_ you left me!

 

Out of anger, she smashes her wounded right fist against the nearest wall making her scrapes reopen and she bleeds. Chaeyoung startles, widening her eyes and the others who have stopped to watch gasp in horror as the loud crack in Lisa’s hand is well perceived and everyone hears it from a distance.

 

“Lisa!” Chaeyoung shrieks.

 

Even with a now cracked hand, Lisa balls her right hand into a fist, clenching it tightly whilst droplets of fresh blood sticks to the floor. Facing the wall, she looks down on the floor and blood are no longer the only thing that hits the floor as her incessant of tears are too.

 

“Why can’t you come back to me?” Lisa questions with her back turned to the latter.

 

“I… Lisa, please, let’s not have this conversation here. Your hand–”

 

Chaeyoung is cut off. “If not here, then we’ll never speak again because you’re going to disappear again.”

 

Chaeyoung goes back and forth on whether she should walk up to Lisa or not, if it’s a good idea or not but in the end, she doesn’t and looks at the latter’s back, occasionally looking down on the hand.

 

“I beg you, Lisa!” She pleads. “Let’s find a doctor.”

 

“If you really cared about me, you would’ve given me an explanation as to why you made such a reckless decision instead of leaving without a word, but you chose the latter of course.”

 

“ _Please,_ Lisa. Not now…”

 

“Then when?!” She twists around, never releasing her right balled fist and glares at the latter, her chest rising rapidly.

 

“Oh, here you are. I’ve been looking everywhere for you– what’s going on here?” A deep, masculine voice intervenes.

 

“Chanyeol!” Chaeyoung’s fiancé’s sudden appearance surprises her causing her to swirl around to meet him.

 

“Great…” Lisa mumbles and spins around, starting to walk away. There’s no point in continuing their one-sided conversation.

 

“You crying? Why?”

 

“It’s… it’s nothing.” She looks over to Lisa before returning her attention back to her fiancé. “Let’s just go.”

 

“No, wait, she’s bleeding.” He can only be referring to one person. “Excuse me, miss. Are you okay?”

 

Lisa halts and closes her eyes briefly, hearing him coming closer to her but doesn’t turn around. She can’t, she can’t look at both Chaeyoung and her fiancé.

 

“I’m Dr. Park and I work here at this hospital. Your hand is bleeding if you’re not aware of that.”

 

She is, she is fully aware of her bleeding hand. How can she not?

 

“Would you follow me to my room so I can tend to it? Perhaps an X-ray is needed too.”

 

“I’m fine… don’t worry about it, I’ll take care of myself,” she says bitterly and starts walking again.

 

“Please, you’re bleeding. Let me at least stop the blood and bandage your hand so there won’t be any bacteria coming into your opened scrapes. Please.”

 

Lisa doesn’t stop walking and says, “I said I was fine.” But she hasn’t been fine for weeks.

 

With nothing more being said, without any closure, just more pain, more anger and more crying, Lisa leaves before Chaeyoung can leave. She gets to do that at least.

 

She’s in pain, physically and mentally, and that’s the beauty and the beast of pain. The beauty is that it’s necessary to be felt, maybe not too much, in order to accept a permanent change in her life meaning Chaeyoung _is_ gone and she can only slowly start accepting that and work through it. With the saying, behind clouds and storms, there is a rainbow waiting but there’s none right now. Maybe not now, maybe not tomorrow, but eventually and one day. The beast is that, well, it’s pain. What’s greater than pain?

 

A dark look washed over her face, Lisa heads back to the waiting area where she left Jisoo and fortunately, the older girl is still sitting there, waiting patiently for Lisa to return. Jisoo catches sight of her and immediately lifts her body up from the chair, her eyes increasing by the second, terrified and shocked by the appearance. For someone who left for the bathroom, she’s awfully bad looking and dejected.

 

“Lisa…” She frowns and doesn’t fail to spot the trail of blood she has left behind thus she seeks for the source of the blood. She gapes a bit, staring at the source – Lisa’s balled fist.

 

Spiritless as ever, Lisa doesn’t bother speaking, she’s too tired and wraps her arms around the older latter’s waist the moment she approached her. It takes a short second for Jisoo to react and when she does, she sighs and also drapes her arms around the taller girl, patting her back. Just like that, Lisa breaks down and sobs hysterically, her forehead resting on top of Jisoo’s shoulder.

 

Lisa can’t stop crying, she can’t stop the tears from falling. She can’t stop anything, it appears. She couldn’t stop Chaeyoung from leaving her, she couldn’t stop her heart from getting broken and she can’t stop self-pitying herself. So, she wallows in pain, because that’s what she does best.

 

Meanwhile, Lisa is a mess, Jisoo’s eyes are full of unshed tears whilst comforting the latter. She bites down on her lower lip to refrain herself from becoming a crying mess. It’s hard but it’s working.

 

Lisa, known to be the happy pill amongst the friends, has taken her and Seulgi, perhaps Lisa’s other friends too, over the edge this past month. Because they don’t know where to stand to not trigger something inside her as they’re scared they’ll push the wrong buttons and she’ll suddenly explode.

 

The youngest one has changed and it wasn’t for the better, and everyone knows it including Lisa herself.

 

Her eyes that lit up wherever are now the most dejected pair of chocolate brown eyes. Her smile that used to be so brightly that it had an effect on others is now the most insincere one. Her heart that used to beat in a normal pace is now in shattered disconnected of pieces.

 

“It’s okay, it’s okay, everything is going to be okay,” Jisoo says with a hardened throat, lump standing in the way. But Lisa knows she only says that to comfort her.

 

Despite doing everything to not be affected by the younger girl, Jisoo is unable to hold back her tears any longer. They push free.

 

***

 

When being inside the doctor’s office, she is told that she is a very careless, violent person that needs to take better care of herself and he also confirms that she has a fractured hand after looking at the X-ray. Nonetheless, the doctor tends to her wounds, facially and on her hand, before plastering her hand in a blue cast.

 

Before leaving the office, he tells her to come back next week as she’ll need to undergo a second set of X-rays. It’s to ensure that her hand bones have remained in the proper position in order to heal correctly. After four weeks, she’ll have to come back again but this time to remove the cast. Once the cast is removed, she’s able to put her hand through gentle exercises.

 

Even though Lisa nodded through everything the doctor said, her mind was absent but luckily for her, Jisoo was there.

 

“You don’t remember a word he said, right?” Lisa sighs and shakes her head. “What are friends for…”

 

After having paid for the hospital bill, it’s quiet on their way out from the hospital. The cold nipping them so they hurry to the car. Lisa gets in the passenger seat whilst Jisoo in the driver’s seat.

 

Because of the disorder in Lisa’s head, her body and brain aren’t cooperating with each other. Hence, she isn’t able to function normally and struggles with the seatbelt. As Jisoo was about to put on her own seatbelt, she notices the younger one battling with the seatbelt. She rushes a hand through her hair before deciding to help the poor girl. Once done, she puts on her own.

 

Switching on the engine, the older girl turns on the heat.

 

Then and now, Jisoo takes a peek at Lisa, wanting to ask what happened but she just doesn’t know if it’s the right time to ask knowing that Lisa has barely recovered.

 

“I met Chaeyoung,” she says as if she has read Jisoo’s thoughts and it catches her off guard, her eyes snapping from the front to the latter.

 

  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My end notes are very tricky. I don't know what to write sometimes, perhaps it's because it's past midnight and I should sleep. But I hope you enjoyed the chapter, I almost cried (don't ask me why) when writing this chapter. And seriously, I am very thankful to everyone who gives this story a chance and very, very thankful for those who is still here with me. I hope to see you until the very end, bare with me!
> 
> Comments are very much appreciated as it encourages me and motivates me to continue. Faster updates if it's a better word. Really not trying to sound like I'm thirsting after comments but you have no idea how happy it makes me.


	6. Part Six

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 04:03 AM and I just finished this. So, just to let you all know, I've been on vacation thus my late update but I'm back. This hasn't been proofread, like at all, so if there are really messy things, confusing things, then let me know. I'll try and proofread all my previous chapters too but one day.

All her pent-up frustrations due to the memories earlier today let themselves out so easily through ceaseless tears, the everflowing surge of salty tears that streams down her cheeks. The memories are strangers in her head, but yet they broke through what she thought was an indestructible shell around her without difficulty, taking over her mind as if they own her, the _entire_ her.

 

Lisa hates crying. But crying seems to be the most logical thing to do in her situation and the most functional emotion for her.

 

Sure, there’s clubbing and drowning in liquor. But she’s over that. Besides, last time she _did_ go clubbing and drowned herself in liquor, she ended up sleeping with a stranger. A stranger she kissed with earnestness the day after but never saw again until after New Year’s. Until she met her at her college’s library and things went hell and beyond hell after that.

 

She hasn’t left her bed since she left the hospital, since Jisoo dropped her off with hesitation, worry in her brown orbs but did it nonetheless out of respect. She’s been lying here for hours and maybe hours can turn to days because she has no appetite, no motivation, no desire to move as she is more broken than anyone else on Earth – completely shut down.

 

It’s Christmas Eve all over again. In her left hand, she holds onto the wedding invitation once again. Reading the words over and over with hazy eyesight, choosing not to put an end to her ordeal and instead makes it worse.

 

Exhaustion gets to Lisa but she’s only able to go to sleep for half an hour, maximum half an hour and wakes up feeling more shit than ever. Feeling worse than she was before she slept as she wasn’t mentally prepared for her emotional side and mental pain to hit her at the same time.

 

Gradually, she tugs herself up. Tired of lying down, she paces back and forth in her room with no destination whatsoever. Her mind is still occupied with a load of unnecessary thoughts and so far, going back and forth is not diminishing them, not in the slightest. For that reason, she halts her movements and searches for her headphones. She finds them eventually. She puts them on, covering her ears and selects a random playlist with her phone, maximizing the volume before shoving it into her pockets and exits her room, walking outside to the terrace.

 

Lisa leans over the fence, breathing out thickly as she looks over to the city. The lights are illuminating the high buildings, making them stand out in this dark, cold winter night whilst Lisa is hidden behind the shadows of her own building. Snowflakes land on top of her head and melt in the process.

 

Even though she’s shivering to death, her teeth chattering nonstop as she isn’t wearing anything warm, she stands still. It makes her tears go dry and body go numb and so did her mind in the process. She needs the feeling of numbness as it has been too much for her the past month, but the past 24 hours even more.

 

“Stop…” she chokes out.

 

Her chest suffers, it heaves unevenly and her left palm comes to rest over her eyes whilst new tears coat her vision.

 

She’s crying again.

 

During these moments, talking to someone, her parents, a friend, a neighbor and not Mr. Choi would be a good idea, to release everything, to calm her mind but she doesn’t and stupidly chooses to go through this alone like she always has really.

 

She stands firm on the ground and cries quietly, the tears descending down her cheeks in a never-ending flow.

 

Four whole minutes of crying, her tears finally come to a rest thus she lets her arm fall down to her side and she inhales and exhales, then gulping down the thick lump that has been stuck to her throat all the while.

 

“Just need to sleep, just need to sleep,” she mumbles, walking back inside and closing the door to the terrace after her. Instead of going back to her bedroom, she lies down on the couch, closing her eyes and forcibly tries to get her to sleep. It doesn’t work, not right away at least, not for hours, so she kind of just lay there with eyes closed, tears still there whilst wishing for everything to go away until she drifts off to sleep.

 

***

 

Lisa had woken up a few hours ago and now that it is past midnight, still feeling shit, impossible to erase the feeling and not able to back to sleep anytime soon, she rummages through her old stuff that was stuffed in a tiny wardrobe. Her old things contain most, if not all, memories of her and Chaeyoung. Lisa should’ve realized it sooner, should’ve known that keeping them wouldn’t get Chaeyoung to return to her. It was a bad idea as it brought nothing good to her and instead made her release her inner anger frequently. Maybe not inner anger anymore, just _anger_.

 

She sends away an old photo album she had been flipping through to the direction of the living room. Proceeding, she picks up another piece of memory of her and Chaeyoung, but doesn’t bother looking through it and throws it to the same direction.

 

Her throat tightens, it’s become a routine, a tormenting routine, and she’s having a hard time breathing. Licking her lips, she tries to take a short intake of breath, like a normal person, but her body just doesn’t respond to any of her commands. It has given up, just like the owner of the body. Too broken of a soul that not even glue can be used to fix it together.

 

Sitting silently in the middle of nowhere but anywhere in her vast and darkened apartment, hunched over and eyes fixed on a particular spot on the floor. But it’s too dark to focus. Tears begin to well and without a usual stop signal, she doesn’t refrain herself from crying and a new wave of fresh tears courses rapidly down her already wet cheeks. Frustrated, she lets out a suppressed scream, clutching her face with both of her hands all the while. Whilst crying, her nostrils get clogged with dripping mucus, making it unable for her to breathe through her nose hence the way she gasps for air.

 

Wiping away her snot and tears, only for them to return as soon as possible, she abruptly stands up and kicks the two boxes away from her. Even though she kicks them away, she walks up to them and picks up the old things inside, sending them away all over her apartment. Mugs made of glass, photo albums, frames – everything from the old boxes. The glass of the mugs and frames shatter on the floor, reaching her feet in pieces and are spread everywhere. If her heart were on the floor, people wouldn’t know which is real glass and which is the heart as it would blend right in.

 

Mr. Choi is definitely calling the landlord on her or even worse, the police. But that thought hasn’t passed her frantic mind because her rationality is long gone and right now, the pain is surpassing her, little by little, and a human being can only handle so much pain till it’s too much. Lisa’s not there yet, but soon.

 

She tumbles down on her knees and unluckily, her knees come into contact with the glass and so does her uncovered left hand. The glass stabs her through the material of her jeans and though the physical pain is there, it’s not as great as the mental pain that is chewing her up from the inside.

 

Fingers spread apart, she carelessly claws the floor and inevitably grabs a hand full of glass with her palm that isn’t bandaged. The glass digs into Lisa’s flesh but she doesn’t wince and continues squeezing nonetheless. However, when she looks down on her hand, watching the blood spill from her palm and create a pool beneath her, she hastily releases the glass. Now wincing and is in a physical pain.

 

She diverts her clouded eyes to the door when she hears keys rustling and distinct voices, a female and a male’s, right outside the apartment door. She doesn’t need to think to know who is visiting her at this late-night hour as it’s only one friend that has access to a key to her apartment.

 

“No…” she pleads whilst looking at the door, fearful of the consequences that will come once the visitor sees her in her hysterical wreck. Lisa must admit the timing is impeccable.

 

Situated between the kitchen area and the living room, she is in a kneeling position right in front of the door, approximately 10 feet away, and doesn’t find the strength to get up before it’s too late. Her body really doesn’t respond to her anymore, almost as if the brain and the body are no longer connected to each other.

 

The door cracks open and the sudden, unwelcoming light pierces through her, blinding her eyes full of tears. She immediately shuts her eyes closed due to the extreme brightness but the source of light quickly vanishes as the sound of the door closing is heard. Even with the darkness returned, Lisa doesn’t open her eyes. She can’t face Jisoo.

 

No one says a single thing. There’s only silence until Lisa comprehends Jisoo’s footsteps. She’s getting closer to her. The glass crushes beneath the older girl’s feet and Lisa prays to God she is still wearing her shoes. Kind of hypocritical of her. Praying for someone else when in reality, she should pray for herself.

 

Jisoo bends down and grabs a hold of Lisa’s left arm and then says softly, “Get up…” But there’s a crack in Jisoo’s voice. Her voice is low, hardly understood, and Lisa doesn’t like it one bit. She _hates_ hurting people in her surroundings so why can’t she get back to her old self?

 

Lisa obliges without resisting and opens her eyes, but her eyes don’t search for Jisoo’s.

 

The older girl guides the limping girl to the kitchen table and they walk around the mess to set Lisa down on one of the chairs. Afterward, she goes and finds the first aid kit that is hidden somewhere in the apartment. Holding in her tears all the while but it’s difficult and she’s going to break down if she ever finds Lisa like this _one more time_.

 

She sets the first aid kit beneath Lisa before going over to the sink, washing her hands thoroughly. Once she was done, she walks back to the younger girl and grabs out the necessities.

 

Jisoo normally hates looking at blood but this time around, she hasn’t even flinched whilst looking at the bleeding hand.

 

Using a tweezer, she carefully plucks out the very tiny pieces of glass from her hand before grabbing a scissor and cuts off her jeans, turning them into a pair of shorts. She then uses the tweezer and tends to the knees and luckily, she’s able to remain a steady hand movement. Checking that every single piece of glass is removed from her wounds, she dabs with a clean cloth around Lisa’s palm with uttermost gentleness, but still needing to apply slight pressure for the bleeding to stop. Then proceeds to do the same on her two knees.

 

The older girl continues to stay mute and captures Lisa’s wrist, guiding her to the sink to rinse her hand.

 

“You’re an idiot…” Jisoo sighs, breaking the uncomfortable silence.

 

Lisa doesn’t answer and thoughtlessly gazes at Jisoo’s hand caressing her hand under running water. She has yet to look Jisoo in the eyes.

 

“What are you doing?”

 

Lisa still doesn’t answer. She thinks Jisoo’s indifferent, judging her actions and behavior and Lisa is terrified to death, to say the least. Though she doesn’t know that Jisoo is anything but angry right now. The older girl is about to burst into tears as the tears are already at bay hence how she tilts her head up a bit. If she keeps blinking, they’ll fall eventually.

 

When she was done with Lisa’s palm, she takes a piece of tissue from the counter and wets it. Carefully, she crouches down and wipes cleaned Lisa’s knees, clenching her jaw all the way through.

 

Jisoo checks that she has cleaned off every wound before running off to the wardrobe, taking a dry and cleaned cloth from there. She jogs back and Lisa has remained unmoving. Carefully, she raises Lisa’s hand and dries it off before retrieving patches and a bandage from the white box. She patches Lisa’s two knees and afterward bandages her hand. Not too tight, not too loose.

 

Lisa finally mustered up her courage and looked at the other brunette whilst she bandaged her hand. Her heart sank to the bottom of her chest as there are tears trickling down Jisoo’s jaw. One, two, three, four till they flow down consistently.

 

“You’re unbelievable, Lisa.” She sniffles and looks up. They meet eye to eye. Lisa curses inwardly for not turning away quick enough. “Your hands are all bandaged up. How are you going to brush your teeth, huh? Shower? Eat?”

 

“Uh…” she trails off, drifting her eyes past Jisoo’s. She can’t stand looking at someone crying. “I didn’t think of that.”

 

“Of course you didn’t.” She fumes and went from tending to Lisa’s hand with attentiveness to throwing it away from her like garbage and walks away, disappearing in the direction of Lisa’s bedroom.

 

She’s mad. Lisa gets it. She has every reason to be mad.

 

Lisa sighs, looking down on her two hands and shakes her head.

 

Nonetheless, she also heads to the direction of her bedroom but instead of following Jisoo, she retrieves the broom and the dustpan from the closet. About to go and clean her harmful mess in complete darkness, Jisoo walks out and deadpans at the sight.

 

“What are you doing?” she questions, holding onto a pink toothbrush, _Lisa’s_ pink toothbrush in her right and in her left, there’s toothpaste.

 

“The glass?”

 

“Lisa… it’s two in the morning.”

 

“But–”

 

“No buts,” she says, cutting the younger one off. “Leave it and I’ll deal with it in the morning because right now, I have to deal with you.”

 

She shoves the broom and dustpan back inside the closet before returning her eyes to Jisoo.

 

“You’re not going to brush my teeth,” she says backing away from Jisoo.

 

“Yes, I will, so stop being so difficult and come here.” She puts the toothpaste in her right hand along with the toothbrush and seizes Lisa’s arm, bringing her to her and they enter the bathroom.

 

Lisa sits down on the closed toilet seat. She looks to the left, over to Jisoo who stands by the sink and it’s only now in the light does she see Jisoo’s red, puffy eyes from the side. Unknowingly pouting at her older friend, she diverts her eyes to the front, sticking them to the ceramic wall.

 

It’s a rare sight seeing _Kim Jisoo_ cry and if it weren’t for the situation they are put in, she would’ve taken a photo of her and teased the hell out of her. But she can’t, it’s not the right thing to do.

 

Jisoo approaches the taller girl with toothpaste on the pink toothbrush.

 

“Open up,” she says, gazing at Lisa.

 

“Are we really doing this?” She raises her eyebrow at the latter.

 

“Yes, now open up so we can get this over with. I’m dead tired.”

 

And Jisoo really does brush her teeth, somewhat messy but at least she brushed the teeth of her younger friend.

 

Jisoo never imagined that she would ever in her twenties brush an adult’s teeth as the only teeth she is used to brushing are her own. But it happened and it will continue to happen until Lisa’s _both_ hands heal. 

 

After brushing her friend's teeth, she washes off the toothbrush before placing it back to its original spot. Taking a towel, she drenches it in water before squeezing all the liquid out and goes back to the latter, wiping her face, especially around her eyes. Once it's done, some whining from the younger one, she puts the towel back.

 

“Come on, let’s get you to bed.” She grabs a hold of Lisa’s arm making her stand up.

 

“I can walk, you know.”

 

“And I’m trying to be a nice friend, you know. So, stop being an asshole.”

 

Ah, an asshole. Lisa sure has heard that word quite a few times and it doesn’t sit right in her head and it kind of never will.

 

After shutting off the lights from the bathroom, they walk inside the bedroom, turning on the lights, brightening up the room. Lisa slips back down under her bed sheets, still wearing the same outfit she has worn for two consecutive days. She should change but she’s tired, tired of the crying, tired of hurting herself, tired of _being hurt_ and just wants to sleep.

 

Jisoo searches for Lisa’s sleepwear in her wardrobe as she’s not about to let her friend sleep in the same outfit she has worn for too long. She finds a simple t-shirt and a pair of shorts and throws it over to Lisa who has her back turned to the latter.

 

“Change.” Lisa groans when hearing Jisoo talk. “I’m serious. Don’t make me strip you out of your clothes and I know you don’t like it when I do that.”

 

“Pervert,” she murmurs and raises her body up in a sitting position, grabbing the clothes on the bed.

 

Lisa struggles with removing her upper top, obviously because of her two bandages and Jisoo sighs so much at the itching sight. On the other hand, Lisa growls, her head and body heating up due to hassle with her upper top. And Jisoo has enough, stomping her way to the latter.

 

“Raise your arms up.”

 

“I’m fine.”

 

“You’re asking to be punched,” she says, growing annoyed by the second.

 

Lisa does what she’s told and raises her arms up, rolling her eyes.

 

“I never told you what happened between me and Chaeyoung back at the hospital,” Lisa starts whilst the older girl tries to remove her top. “I got into a heated argument with her and it didn’t end well. I didn’t get any answers out of her because she didn’t want to speak to me. So, I punched my fist into the wall out of frustration, anger, resentment and it was a reckless action, I know. And then I saw her fiancé, _Park Chanyeol_ , and it ended just as it began.”

 

Having the top removed, Jisoo listens in the meanwhile she makes Lisa slip into a fresh t-shirt.

 

“I told her I had kissed someone else, even slept with that someone…” She’s ashamed of speaking of her one night stand. “Fucking Jennie–” she whispers but Jisoo hears it all.

 

“What? Jennie? Who Jennie?” Jisoo basically interrogates her.

 

“I don’t know, all I know is that I met her in the club you guys took me to on Christmas Eve. Her surname is Kim something… I think.”

 

Upon hearing that, she stops changing Lisa and shakes her head, saying, “Oh, my God… no, Lisa.”

 

“What?” The younger one raises her eyebrow at Jisoo, confused as to why she’s having this kind of reaction.

 

“You slept with _Kim Jennie_ …”

 

“You say her name like it’s explaining everything.” She lets out a puff of air up to her bangs.

 

“Lisa, she’s engaged.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hit me up with feedback, they are deeply appreciated.


	7. Part Seven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I'm just going to say it. I'm really lazy when it comes to proofreading. I'll get to it one day but I don't know when. One day when I'm not lazy.

“What do you mean engaged?” she questions whilst putting up a fight with her used to be jeans. They are not coming down.

 

“Lisa, just stay away from her. She’s not someone you want to be around, especially now that you know she’s an engaged girl. Don’t ask any questions and listen to me this time. I beg you.”

 

“Chill,” Lisa says. “I wasn’t planning on being around her anyways so don’t worry. But engaged? What is it with people being engaged around me? Seriously.”

 

With one drag from Jisoo, Lisa’s shorts come off. “Don’t ask.”

 

Jisoo takes a hold of the other pair of fresh shorts, slipping them up until her knees. “Don’t tell, _and_ you can pull them up by yourself.” She pats the younger one’s thigh before getting up, removing every garment that has been outside in the cold and gets under the blanket on Lisa’s bed.

 

Lisa pulls up the shorts with effort but once they’re on, she walks toward the lights, switching them off. Quickly, she gets under the blanket with Jisoo, getting extremely close to the latter and the second she gets comfortable, she wraps her leg over Jisoo’s.

 

“Get… off… me…” Jisoo struggles to shake off the clingy friend but Lisa won’t budge, like at all.

 

“You’re warm.” She snuggles a bit closer, too close maybe.

 

“And you’re cold, now get off.” The older girl still attempts to shake Lisa off but she’s not going anywhere, instead, she inches riskily closer.

 

“Ah, sh- sh- shit… my arm, it hurts.” Lisa groans in pain causing Jisoo to turn to her in an instant. Her worried eyes scan the latter, trying to see where she is hurting in the dark. She’s not sure why she’s even trying as she can’t see anything.

 

“Where, where, where does it hurt?”

 

“Lift up your body a little.” Jisoo does what she’s told without having to think for a second. Lisa smoothly slips her right arm under the latter’s back and wraps herself fully around the raven-haired, her leg still on top of Jisoo’s. “Thank you.”

 

She can’t believe she just fell for Lisa’s dumb trick.

 

“You’re impossible.” Jisoo sighs, wiggling in her spot, “and incredibly annoying.” She continues to argue, letting out another telling sigh.

 

Lisa nuzzles into the latter’s neck, closing in on the gap and her lips almost touch Jisoo’s skin, the touch is there but it’s actually not there. However, Jisoo feels the younger girl’s breath on her, making it impractical for her to breathe thus she swallows, she swallows loudly.

 

“Can you tell me more about that girl Jennie?” Lisa dares to ask.

 

“Oh, come on, Lisa…”

 

Lisa tightens her hold around Jisoo and unbeknownst to the both of them, Lisa’s right-hand captures Jisoo’s, intertwining their fingers, Lisa’s palm on the top of Jisoo’s hand. Well, it’s hardly interlaced knowingly the brunette’s hand is bandaged, but it’s locked and secured, skin to skin. And Jisoo can feel her sweat function kicking in.

 

“I’ll let you go if you tell me.”

 

Jisoo clears her throat. “Fine… what do you even want to know, you nosy brat? But first, get away from me.”

 

“Okay, okay…” She rolls her eyes, “but I need you to lift up again.” A cheeky grin forms on her lips but it’s unseen.

 

She carefully pulls her arm out, distancing herself from the older girl and rolls over to her side, cautious with her arm whilst staring at what she thinks is Jisoo. Naturally, Jisoo looks back, also having rolled over to her side, her left arm under the pillow.

 

“So, tell me about her.”

 

“Why are you even so curious?”

 

Lisa licks her lips. “I don’t know, I just am. But it’s not like I’m asking for the good things about her…”

 

Jisoo lets out a small sigh, she’s been sighing a lot and her sighs only seem to appear whenever she’s around the younger girl.

 

“We’re supposed to sleep though.”

 

“We won’t have the opportunity to sit, well… lie down and talk like this again.” As Lisa says that, she scoots closer a tad.

 

“True.” She nods, “but do you really want to waste this opportunity to talk about Jennie?”

 

“I don’t see any harm in it.” Lisa moves her hand toward the latter’s face and puts aside the few strands of hair that blocks her face behind her ear.

 

Jisoo gulps, licking her dry lips. “Sounds to me that you’re quite hung up on her.”

 

“I’m not.” Lisa settles her palm on Jisoo’s cheek, caressing it gently. “Slightly curious, that’s all. If you don’t believe me, then fine, don’t, but I’m telling the truth. I’m being real honest here.”

 

“Will you be able to handle the truth then? The truth about Kim Jennie?” she wonders, biting down on her lower lip as her body temperature is near on surpassing the temperature scale.

 

“What truth?” She scrunches up her face in the dark, puzzled over what can possibly be _the truth_. “It’s information, nothing less nothing more.”

 

“What are you going to do with the information I give you?”

 

Lisa shrugs. “I don’t know… blackmail her? Make fun of her?” She lets out a snort. “If that’s what you are thinking, then no, I’m not stooping down that low. Chill.”

 

“Still, I don’t like the thought of you lingering around her… going around asking about her, those kinds of stuff.”

 

“You sound like a cop interrogating me.” She rolls her eyes, “Sorry, Officer, I have done nothing but obeying the law, so would you please stop questioning me?”

 

When Jisoo sighs out again, extremely loud and ticked off, Lisa starts to laugh, her unique kind of laugh, a laugh that Jisoo hasn’t heard for _decades_. An exaggeration but it feels that way. She tumbles on her back, staring up at the ceiling and her arms to her sides.

 

“You know what, let’s just sleep,” she says, shutting her eyes. “You’re making it too serious than it should be.”

 

“Because it _is_ –” Lisa shushes her before she can finish her sentence.

 

“It’s almost 3 A.M., spirits and ghosts will wake up soon.”

 

Lisa snuggles further inside the blanket, the blanket covers her body up till her face.

 

They lie still for a few minutes before Lisa decides to speak up. “Jisoo?” The older girl hums. “Thank you for being my friend.”

 

Not sooner than later, sleep consumes the younger one’s eyelids and she drifts off to sleep for the third time.

 

An hour has passed by and a low snore comes out of Lisa whilst the older latter remains awake, too awake and is still facing Lisa. She places her elbow on the pillow, resting her cheek on her fist. She studies the brunette – so peaceful and adorable in her sleeping form.

 

It has been a really long day for the both of them.

 

“Lisa…” Jisoo speaks, checking if the younger one is awake, but she clearly isn’t as she sees no signs of a reaction. Even shaking her doesn’t wake her up.

 

She stretches out her arm to Lisa’s face, pushing back the latter’s hair behind her ear, really just admiring the younger girl. She places her hand on Lisa’s cheek, stroking the smooth skin of hers while caressing the brunette’s lower lip with her thumb. Jisoo fears Lisa would wake up soon but she does this bold move nonetheless.

 

She knows Lisa doesn’t love her the way she loves her, but she simply just can’t resist _her_. Her presence, her scent, _her entire being._

 

Jisoo really can’t fight against the thoughts that are going through her, messing with her head, compelling her to do things beyond her control.

 

Lowering herself to the brunette’s lips, she realizes she’s only a few inches away from her and without thinking any further, she gently and softly settles her lips onto Lisa’s for a few seconds before pulling away.

 

She had never imagined how warm and soft her lips would feel pressed up against her own. It was a mere peck, but for Jisoo, it’s more than that.

 

Truth be told, she’s in love with her. She’s in love with Lisa and she has been in love with her for so long that she doesn’t know how it feels to _not_ be in love with her.

 

***

 

Lisa wakes up to the sound of rambunctious knocks that is surely coming from the front door or from the neighbors. But she’s sticking to the first one. The brunette groans, retreating back into her duvet, moving closer to Jisoo who is sound asleep and ignores it. To her unfortunate, the obnoxious knocks are at it again, not sparing her a second.

 

With blurred eyes, she glances up to her nightstand and checks the time.

 

“Oh, my God…” A groggy voice slips out of her.

 

It’s 4.30 A.M. and she was just getting to the good part in her _dream_ , not nightmare. The part where Chaeyoung was returning to her.

 

She briefly remains still in her bed before hauling herself out of bed in one move. Lisa lets out a tiring yawn whilst rubbing her face. An attempt to dismantle the blurriness between her eyelids all the way toward the door, avoiding the glass mess all the while. Once she reaches the door, she turns on the lights in the living room. She grabs a hold of the handle and drags it open without checking the peephole first.

 

She almost chokes herself on her own saliva, widening her eyes at the appearance of the pink-haired girl.

 

“C-Chae– Chaeyoung,” she exclaims low and sighs out, in relief almost.

 

Remembering the glass incident, steps outside and closes the door, hiding the mess that she is now very ashamed of.

 

“Hi…”

 

Lisa shakes her head. “What are you doing here? And how did you even find me? My apartment.” Her voice uncivil.

 

Her mood swings are extreme.

 

“I asked a friend of ours,” she says, fiddling with her fingers in anxiety. Lisa doesn’t notice them until she wanders her eyes down to the latter’s slender hands. Her heart wrench in pain due to the sight of the habit. It’s been a long time since she saw the habit of hers.

 

“Wow.” She snorts, “You ask them, they tell you _immediately_. _I_ ask them, they don’t tell me _shit_. Double standards but I guess I know who they side with now, who they’ve always sided with. But never mind… what are you doing here 4.30 in the morning?”

 

“To, uh… you know, continue the conversation where we left off.” Chaeyoung still avoids eye contact with the latter. Funny as Lisa’s pair of brown eyes were the pair of eyes she never got tired of and couldn’t look away from.

 

“I can’t,” she rejects her flatly, not even giving it a thought. “Jisoo’s here. She’s sleeping right now.”

 

The pink-haired girl’s eyes fly up at the mentioning of the latter’s friend. “J-Jisoo?” she questions, more like quivering in fear or something else, but there’s one thing for sure – it isn’t happiness that Lisa senses from the girl. “You guys– are you together? Like, dating and living with each other?”

 

“What? No. That’s absurd.” She raises her brow, shaking her head. “Why would you ever think that? I’m not dating nor am I living with anyone. The only person I’ve dated _and_ lived with is _you_.”

 

“But Jisoo–”

 

Lisa raises up her hand, stopping the latter from speaking any further. “She’s my friend, technically _our_ friend but yeah… anyways, a _friend_ that sleeps over– wait, why am I even answering you? Not obligated to since you’re not my girlfriend…” She drops her gaze down to the side, mumbling the last sentence but Chaeyoung hears it.

 

The awkward silence settles in but Lisa breaks it instantly. She can’t handle the awkwardness.

 

“You want to talk? Let’s talk. I want to talk too,” she says hurriedly before closing the door on her without saying anything.

  

She leaves Chaeyoung by the front door and walks back inside her bedroom like nothing. She quickly gets dressed in warm clothes and before she heads out back outside to the living room, she takes a quick peek at Jisoo. She’s still fast asleep.

 

Avoiding the mess in the living room, she grabs her nearest winter jacket and slips her feet in her shoes and snatches her keys from the kitchen counter. All was done, she opens the door and hastily steps out, closing the door and doesn’t allow the latter to peek inside.

 

She locks the door, turning around and says, “Let’s go.”

 

With that being said, she walks past Chaeyoung and ahead of her but the latter is quick to stop her.

 

“Lisa… your h–” She stops herself but Lisa knows what she was going to say. She would be ridiculous if she didn’t know. “Your jacket. You should put it on since it’s quite cold outside right now.”

 

Once again, she struggles with putting on the jacket, and apparently, she struggles with everything that has to go through her two bandaged hands and arm.

 

Life was great until Lisa decided she wanted to become Superman for one day, punching her way through the cemented wall. Obviously, her human hand cracked.

 

“Here, let me help you.” She offers a hand.

 

Being the naïve girl Lisa is, she rejects any help that comes her way, literally.

 

“No, I’m fine, I got it. Totally cool.” She takes a step down the stairs whilst talking and hasn’t managed to put on her jacket yet.

 

She isn’t fine. She doesn’t got it. She isn’t totally cool.

 

“Nonsense,” she says and Lisa hears the latter approaching her and before she knows it, Chaeyoung takes a hold of Lisa’s jacket even though her help got denied. But that’s Chaeyoung. She’s an angel… _Lisa’s_ angel.

 

They stand on the same staircase as the pink-haired girl holds up the jacket for Lisa. Lisa heaves out an exhale before sliding in her right arm carefully in the first hole and it goes in like magic. She does the same with the other arm but what she doesn’t expect from Chaeyoung is for her to spin the brunette around, zipping up the jacket for her.

 

Because of it, on a whim, they stand so close to each other and Lisa bulges her eyes at the proximity whilst Chaeyoung hasn’t come to realize it yet. But when she does, when she pulls her head back up and their eyes contact each other on the road back, she too widens her eyes. Unfortunately, however, Chaeyoung pulls back, setting some distance between them.

 

“Okay,” Chaeyoung says.

 

“Okay…” Lisa has a little problem with breathing normally at this very moment. “Let’s go then, and you… thank you.”

 

***

 

Thick blanket of touched snow paints the surface and the pale stone ground is not to be seen anymore. It covers the whole street except for the road where the cars drive.

 

It’s still night time and the sun hasn’t begun rising yet so there isn’t much to see and there aren’t any people to see either. There are some, very few, but it still feels rather empty, even with the company of Chaeyoung.

 

Suddenly, the frosty wind of snow rushes past the duo causing their hair to become slightly disheveled as there are strands of hair over their faces. Lisa was very quick on tucking her chin down to her neck, covering herself up, she tries to, and wraps her arms around her body.

 

The brunette isn’t the type of person who wants to associate with cold weather. However, when she felt like it, she would take the time of the day to enjoy the mid-January snow. Though today is not one of the days where she adores the weather, let alone enjoy it as her eyelids are still heavy from the lack of sleep.

 

“It’s beautiful,” Chaeyoung confesses, having her hands shoved inside her pockets. “You live in a nice neighborhood.”

 

“Beautiful but so fucking _cold_ ,” she answers candidly, her teeth chattering. “Anyways, how did you get here?”

 

“I drove here?” As she says that, she unlocks the car parked near the walking path.

 

“Right…”

 

The duo gets in the car on the respective side. Chaeyoung, for the sake of Lisa’s freezing ass, she switches on the engine and turns on the heat immediately. They buckle up but remains unmoving thus Lisa turns her attention to the latter.

 

“W–”

 

“Where do you want to go?” Chaeyoung cuts her off, asking an entire sentence.

 

“I don’t know, like… anywhere is fine with me,” she says, leaning the side of her head against the window.

 

Chaeyoung sighs. “Okay, I think I know a spot.”

 

Shortly, Chaeyoung departs from the parking spot and with the lack of sleep, Lisa inevitably falls asleep again, for the whole ride actually.

 

By the time she wakes up, she flutters her eyes open and finds herself staring out the car window with blurry vision. The nap did not feel very lasting because before she knows it, Chaeyoung is waking her up, announcing that they have arrived at their destination.

 

Whilst Chaeyoung gets out of the car, moving to the front of the car, Lisa stays behind and yawns. Feeling extremely drained from the past few days, she stretches and cracks her head from left to right before she too gets out of the car sluggishly. The cold nips her bare face instantly but nonetheless, she heads to Chaeyoung with crossed arms.

 

“How was your nap?” she asks, her eyes stuck on the view of the city from above.

 

“So, you brought us here? Why here?” Instead of answering Chaeyoung’s question, she also asks a question.

 

“Because–” She stills for a brief second, gulping down. “Because this is our place, this is somewhere only we know.”

 

Lisa clears her throat, gazing over to the city too and speaks, “Why did you leave me that day? We were doing great, perfectly fine the day before so I can’t, no… I don’t understand. I don’t think I’ll ever understand your reason to why you left me in the first place. We were… Chaelisa…”

 

Salty tears sting her left eye, building its bubble in the little corner. She inhales and exhales heavily, it’s difficult, not only because she’s about to cry but because she’s with Lisa, in the presence of Lisa.

 

“I– I don’t know how to begin, how to explain it to you… things happened, things happened before you and at some point, it became too overwhelming and I had to make a decision for all of it to stop…” Her breathing is staggering and she’s barely capable to hold it firm but Lisa knows she’s about to break down because she, too, is about to break down in the presence of Chaeyoung.

 

“Decision?” she questions and she still doesn’t glance over to the latter. “Decision to leave me and stop loving me? Leave me for another man? I didn’t… think you’d ever stoop that low. When did you, you know… when did it begin? Behind my back…”

 

“Oh, my God!” She whips her head to Lisa so fast that Lisa gets startled, also glancing back. “No! I would never do that! Why… wow, Lisa. You really think of me as a cheater, don’t you? That I cheated on you with him behind your back even though living with you?”

 

“Shit, Chaeyoung,” she says, swallowing hard as she sees tears trickle past the latter’s cheeks. It isn’t easy, it has never been easy on her to see the person she loves to cry and her being the reason.

 

“I… I, gosh… I would never do that to you…” She gasps for air, uncontrollably crying and it’s breaking Lisa. Right now, she just wants to hug the latter close to her, tell her that everything’s going to be fine but she would only be lying to herself and the latter. Nothing has been okay in Lisa’s life after Chaeyoung left.

 

“Well,” she begins, looking away as it hurts her too much to look at her. “You can’t blame me, Chaeyoung. You left me, left me a note with ‘I’m sorry’, I mean what was that about even? And a month after you invite me to your wedding. Nice Christmas gift by the way.” It’s sarcasm of course. “Anyway, a month, one month… I know you, Chaeyoung, I know you can’t have possibly have fallen in love with your fiancé within a month unless, yeah… you cheated on me behind my back all this time.”

 

Lisa gives the latter a few minutes to compose herself whilst just leaning against the hood of the car, doing nothing but gazing at the city, holding onto her tears and freezing obviously.

 

“Believe me… or not,” Chaeyoung wipes away her tears and finally speaks, her voice still cracking. “I didn’t cheat on you, I would never do that. All I can say is that things happened. Like I said, things got too overwhelming for me so I had to make a decision for all of it to stop hence why we are here today.”

 

“It’s not like we’re going to get back together so… you might as well tell me.” Her heart aches, it’s been aching for a long period of time – ever since she saw Chaeyoung outside her new apartment.

 

“It’s a political marriage. It was arranged in haste a month before I left you, so I was given a month to spend time with you,” she confesses. “I tried to break it off but they… my parents knew about us, Lisa.”

 

“W–what?” She stutters, finally looking back at Chaeyoung who has been looking at her all this time.

 

“I had to do what I thought was the best for us, the best for you. They were going do something bad to you if I didn’t leave you. I know my dad, I know my family, unfortunately…” She explains rapidly but Lisa continues to stare at her bewildered, slightly dumbfounded and utterly speechless. Her parents knowing about them isn’t what made her speechless though.

 

“Political marriage?” she stammers, now gazing thoughtlessly at the latter. “That… that– Chaeyoung, do you love me?”

 

This time it’s the pink-haired girl’s turn to freeze but in a whisper, she says, “I’ve never stopped loving you…”

 

“No…” She shakes her head repetitive, automatically distancing herself from the latter and the tears push free from both eyes. “You– no, it can’t be, you… you don’t love me, no it just can’t be.” Lisa denies the truth. “You can’t possibly do this to me! You can’t just come and tell me that you still love me when you left me in the cold for _months_! You don’t get to do that… I hated you… I still hate you…”

 

“And I understand that.”

 

“What do you even understand?!” she shouts, wiping away the rolling tears but they won’t stop. So, she lifts her bottom from the hood of the car and spins around fully to face the latter. “I waited for you for _so_ long but you never came back, you didn’t even want to _meet_ me, Chaeyoung, so no, you can’t come and just tell me that you still love me like it’s _nothing_ , because truth fucking told, it’s fucking _everything_!”

 

There’s so much confusion, anger, resentment, relief within Lisa that she has no idea where to turn to, which emotion to turn to thus she’s going to pop a vein somewhere in her body soon. All because she’s straining herself and is a lost puppy.

 

“Lisa…” Chaeyoung reaches for Lisa’s hand and shockingly, she doesn’t back away and just lets it happen.

 

“I know you’re hurting and I know everything is so much more confusing right now but…” She groans, “This is why I didn’t want to meet you in the first place. I knew you’d be like this and you still don’t understand me.”

 

“I do… I understand you perfectly… I just, uh… I need to let this sink down.” She cries silently.

 

Chaeyoung loves her. Chaeyoung loves _her_. She still loves her.

 

She goes back to leaning against the hood of Chaeyoung’s car causing the latter to remove her hand from Lisa’s.

 

“No matter what, it’s still goodbye right? You’re leaving and it’s permanently this time.” Lisa asks with tears still slipping down, her heart isn’t liking the goodbye, she doesn’t like goodbyes at all but this is better than no goodbyes at all. At least she can live with this closure.

 

“Yes…” Chaeyoung nods, wanting nothing more than to close the stupid gap between them on the hood.

 

Lisa exhales, a lump fixed in her throat and her heart behaves like it’s being ripped apart from her chest.

 

It’s their final goodbye and it’s really happening. Lisa is accepting it without anger taking over her sanity and it’s an unbelievable sight.

 

Lisa sighs and wipes her tears for the millionth time. “I guess I have no choice but to let you go… I get to do that at least, you know, let you go in person.”

 

“Yeah…”

 

Even though the two still love each other, this is for the better.

 

Chaeyoung tried, she tried to break off the political marriage because she could and can only see herself marrying Lisa. No one but her. But in the end, Lisa is someone she shouldn’t have fallen in love with but their love, her love towards Lisa was too strong. Even though she can’t still can’t deny her feelings for the latter, she can’t defy her parents. Therefore, before it could get any worse, before her family would do anything harmful towards Lisa, she broke it off without talking to Lisa and agreed on marrying Chanyeol to save the both of them.

 

Well, that is until now and the hospital where she bumped into the brunette.

 

Dying of frustration, Chaeyoung closes the darn gap. Instinctively, she holds onto Lisa’s frigid cheeks, directing the latter’s attention to her and brushes away her tears. She then cups them, providing them with little warmth and the thought only has to pass through her mind once before she gets to kiss Lisa. The kiss is long enough for the latter to feel a tingle and the warmth rushing through Lisa’s entire body, speeding up her blood circulation.

 

Slowly, one hand sneaks its way to Lisa’s nape whilst one still lingers on her cheek.

 

God, Lisa can’t breathe. Even though it’s with the right person this time, she can’t breathe at all. Suffocating, dazed, head pounding and throbbing chest pain. Maybe it’s because it has something to do with the fact that this is the most heartbreaking kiss she has ever experienced and hopefully the last. This is their goodbye kiss.

 

It’s cold. It has begun to snow again, but neither of them cares as they hold onto each other for the last time in this lifetime.

 

However, Chaeyoung withdraws from the soft, enticing kiss causing the latter to let out a staggered sigh but the pink-haired girl utters out six confusing words that leave Lisa dumbfounded, if not troubled.

 

“You should stay away from Jisoo.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, thoughts on the update? If it's like really confusing, please let me know, because it might be the cause of my not proofreading. I hope y'all liked it though!


	8. Part Eight

Any intelligent person would question the pink-haired girl’s statement, especially when it was about her best friend. However, being Lisa,  _Lalisa Manoban_ , she doesn’t, instead, she does what her heart wants her to do, disregarding her brain. Something she’d never do otherwise because she  _loves_ this girl, fuck she loves every ounce of her and she can’t be bothered to care about anyone else right now,  _even_ her best friend and be it all of them.

 

“Will you come back to me if I  _do_ stay away from her?” she asks bluntly, her warm breath brushing against Chaeyoung’s lips whilst she loses herself in Chaeyoung’s brown orbs, no longer afraid to stay and stare.

 

“Li–”

 

“I’m sorry, I know…  _I know_.”

 

Chaeyoung lifts up her cold hand, letting it sit on Lisa’s cheek and the contact causes her heart to skip a beat. The girl, who has knowingly put Lisa through a living hell the past few months, still manages to make her skip a beat. Lisa doesn’t get it. She doesn’t understand herself.

 

“Look at me.  _Lisa_ , look at me,” she says and Lisa does what she’s being told to do, staring at the latter intently. “I don’t want you to hurt anymore because of me, that’s the last thing I want. What I’m gonna say, it’s gonna sound really ridiculous but… I want you to go back to the Lisa before I left you. The humble, kind-hearted, funny, beautiful, a heart full of love…  _happy_ Lisa.” She smiles but maybe it’s too sad to be a smile because Lisa closes her eyes briefly, shaking her head. “Listen to me, Lisa. You deserve to be  _that_ person, not the one in front of me right now with so much grief, so much aching pain, full of anger, a body and face full of scars and fractures… all because of  _me_.  _This_ person–” She removes her hand from Lisa’s cheek and points her index finger on Lisa’s upper body. “doesn’t deserve to be here because  _this_ person is ruining the real Lalisa I know.”

 

Lisa gasps for air, taking in every letter, every word, every sentence coming from the pink-haired girl.

 

“You deserve so much more… you deserve the world, but I can’t give you that… not any longer. I want you to be happy even if it’s not gonna be with me–”

 

She is cut off short once again when Lisa presses a kiss to the very edge of the latter’s mouth causing the latter to drop her hand. She slowly inches in, going to the left, settling ghost-like and gentle pecks on Chaeyoung’s upper lip before doing exactly the same on the bottom lip – the most detailed, loving and a miss-your-lips kind of kiss. Lisa’s kiss to Chaeyoung, Chaeyoung’s and not anyone else’s. Not _Jennie’s_.

 

Instead of sealing the distance the latter like her  _heart_  wants her to (finally listening to her brain), she moves back a little in order for her to see the latter. She waits for Chaeyoung to flutter her eyes open before taking the pink-haired girl’s cheek onto her cold right palm. Instinctually, Chaeyoung leans into the palm as Lisa caresses the smooth spot just right under her eye.

 

“You can’t come back to me, I know…  _that_ …” Her mouth purses in and into a thin line, and also rapidly blinking the building tears away. “Perhaps– God, I hate  _this…_ ” She tears her gaze from the latter, looking up to the dark night sky as the sun has yet to rise and won’t ‘til a few more hours. “Perhaps,” she says, giving herself another chance. “Perhaps, we’re not meant to be in this lifetime–” She chokes and the tears are about to give in, and she’s still not looking at Chaeyoung but even then, she continues on rubbing the same spot on the latter’s cheek. “but if we ever meet again, maybe in a thousand years from today, who knows really, there’s…” She breathes in as her throat is closing in on her, making it difficult for her to breathe, to speak. “There  _is_ one thing I know and that is I’ll love– you then the way I still love you now…”

 

With that, she drops her head down and so does her hand from the latter’s face in the process. She gazes at the ground but Chaeyoung is quick to lift up Lisa’s face with her hands. And for the last time, in this lifetime ever, she plants a lingering kiss on the brunette’s forehead whilst both of their tears roll incessantly.

 

Chaeyoung brings Lisa to her neck, muffling her cry before murmuring a low  _I love you_  and a bunch of  _I’m sorry_ s. Lisa closes her hands into a tight ball on the latter’s waist, her fingers clutching mere inches of the latter’s sweatshirt all the whilst, thoroughly breaking down. At least this time around, there’s no anger, no resentment, just sorrow, and heartache. And she doesn’t know if it’s good for her heartache to be comforted by the person that is causing her heart to ache but nonetheless, she’s crying and is being calmed down at the same time.

 

Lisa wraps her arms around Chaeyoung fully, seizing her petite body and with both hands grips her waist. She dives further in, breathing, well gasping for air against the latter’s neck whilst the latter holds the back of Lisa’s head, rubbing it up and down soothingly.

 

They are both freezing due to the frigid wind blowing passed and the flakes landing all over them but nonetheless, they lean against the hood and stay in the falling snow.

 

Even in the presence of Chaeyoung, even in the arms of Chaeyoung, even with the hug from Chaeyoung, Lisa misses her still, having her eyes closed.

 

***

 

It’s been about two weeks since Lisa and Chaeyoung’s meeting. It’s officially February and February means the wedding date is nearing. Besides that though, she is bruise-free and hickey-free but the thing that has remained is her cast, which is unfortunate but that’s the consequence for playing Superman.

 

If she has to be honest, everything after their last meeting has gone quite smoothly for Lisa. She hasn’t gone berserk the past two weeks, it seems like her anger settled, almost as if seeing Chaeyoung for the last time, letting her go in person was the cure. She’s gone back to being a student full-time again and being a bartender too, well maybe not full-time. Everything was back to  _normal_ … just without Chaeyoung this time.

 

However, Lisa misses Chaeyoung daily and there hasn’t been a single day that has gone by that she hasn’t thought of her and their last, memorable meeting. Chaeyoung loves her and Lisa loves the latter but they are not meant to be. It’s hard to take it in and she hasn’t accepted it entirely but she  _has_ accepted the goodbye.

 

It’s possible to say that Lisa has returned to her normal self, the self she was before Chaeyoung left her, the self Chaeyoung required her to come back to.

 

But there’s one thing that has been bothering her, not too much, but it’s  _there_. She hasn’t seen Jennie since the day in the library, as if though she never existed in the first place. Then again, as much as she tries to ignore the ever-present thought of the brunette, she can’t deny the fact that they did meet and they did more than just meet, regrettably.

 

She shouldn’t be thinking of the poisonous girl knowing Jisoo clearly told her to steer clear from her but then Chaeyoung told her to steer clear from Jisoo. She doesn’t understand what they mean but if there’s one person she  _can_ stay away from, it’s Jennie.

 

Lisa dangles her leg over the edge of her bed, her comfy duvet over her and has her arms around her pillow whilst going back and forth with the apps on her phone. She has been doing it ever since she got home from school, obviously not bothering herself with her assignments that are due within days. She’s procrastinating and she shouldn’t as it will grow to be a bad habit. However, it all worked out well and still is.

 

She hears the front door close from afar but remains still on her spot, switching her post whenever it became too hot to stay and continues reading.

 

Footsteps draw closer to her bedroom and a telling sigh is let out right above her head. She slowly withdraws her eyes from the screen and moves them down to the floor, spotting a pair of standing crossed feet on the doorway. Realizing who it is, she travels her eyes back to the phone.

 

“You’re here,” she says dryly.

 

“You were on your phone when I left and when I get back, you’re still on it. Lisa, come on,” Bambam groans, leaning against the door frame, tapping his foot on the floor, and he’s most definitely not pleased with her.

 

After their fight, they didn’t speak to each other for days until Bambam called her up one evening, asking her out for an apology dinner. That’s how Lisa saw it as. Either way, they went out for dinner and she’d be damned if they didn’t make up after dinner as they’re quite inseparable since their motherland. And she’s too apologetic, feeling too guilty for beating the shit out of her best friend but it wasn’t like Bambam wasn’t sorry because he was. So, the dinner and his words redeemed his drunk side, and Lisa apologized too.

 

“How was your date?” Lisa ignores his complaint and asks, changing the subject, but doesn’t give him full attention.

 

“It went well, we’re going out again, this weekend.”

 

“Sounds nice.”

 

“You’re being very sarcastic right now.”

 

“I’m not,” she argues.

 

“Can’t you for one tiny second look at me while talking?” he mutters, seizing her phone making her whine childishly. “You’re an adult and a college student. Please behave like one. Scrolling down in Instagram won’t do you any good anyway.”

 

She removes the duvet from her body and sits upright on the bed. Then she turns around and sits legs crossed, facing him and he smiles. The girl rolls her eyes in return, stretching out her hand, signaling for him to give it back. He doesn’t though as he shakes his head.

 

“Fine, keep my phone then.”

 

She gives up without a fight and turns to her laptop that is next to her instead. Right when she is about to open it, Bambam steals it from her with his both hands after having shoved her phone in his pocket. She’s lost for words, her right hand still up in the air and is unmovable briefly.

 

“Fine, I’m going to sleep then,” she murmurs, absolutely not having it and drags the duvet back over her, closing her eyes. It lasts shortly until he rips the duvet away, letting it fall down to the floor.

 

“What do you want from me?” she snaps, standing up on the bed and stares him dead in the eyes. “You’ve taken my phone away from me and then my laptop and now, you want to take away my sleep?”

 

“It’s only 6 something, so get up, we’re heading out to eat.”

 

“I thought you just ate?”

 

She isn’t as ticked off anymore thus she settles back down on her bed, finding it somewhat awkward to stand. Nonetheless, the brunette has her arms crossed.

 

“I have two stomachs,” he says and Lisa looks at him dumbfounded, but lets it pass.

 

“Fine, you’re paying then.”

 

“If that’s what it takes to get you out of this apartment, I’ll gladly be the one to pay.”

 

She snorts, rolling her eyes but as she looks at him for a long time, only then does she notice the blonde’s outfit. It’s an appalling sight to her. He’s all pink, his whole tuxedo is pink except for his white shirt under all of that pink. She gasps, her mouth falls slightly open and scrunches her brows.

 

“What is this?” she asks after a moment of shock. “What are you  _wearing_?”

 

“Clothes?”

 

“I know you’re wearing clothes, I’m not an idiot. But pink? When in the world did you start liking pink? I’ve never seen you wear anything pink before.”

 

“Oh,” he says, thinking that Lisa is overreacting a tad. “Just because I wear pink doesn’t necessarily mean I like it.”

 

“If you wear it, you like it, that’s that.”

 

“Hm, maybe I do like it.” He checks himself out, looking down on his awfully pink outfit. “It suits me better than I expected.”

 

She deadpans momentarily and afterward, hops off her bed and moves past him, disappearing inside the bathroom. In a sloppy manner, she splashes her face with frigid water to get her senses to wake up. The brunette then brushes her teeth for a while before stepping back outside.

 

Lisa spots her best friend on the couch in the living room, his feet planted on top of the table as he watches the TV.

 

Nonetheless, she trudges inside their room, getting herself dressed for the evening. Lisa takes on a pair of black ripped jeans and a dark red hoodie, not bothering with her appearance as they are going out to eat.

 

She walks back out and spots Bambam already by the front door.

 

“Let’s go,” he says and hands her phone back. She takes it, putting it in her back pocket.

 

They slip their feet in their shoes and Bambam walks out first, the brunette snatching her coat from the hanger and locks after them.

 

“So, what do you want to eat?” Bambam asks as the duo reach the elevator, getting inside and the brunette pushes the button to the lobby.

 

“Meat,” she tells him, grinning, and leans against the right side of the elevator.

 

“You’re gonna get me broke, Lisa.”

 

“Says the guy who practically owns the whole Gucci line in his wardrobe,” she snorts and he grins back at her, scrunching his eyes, knowing he can’t come up with a better comeback. It’s game over. “You’re unbelievable.”

 

The elevator dings, announcing their arrival to the lobby, and the roommates walk out, heading for the exit.

 

They walk side by side, the height difference is ridiculous, and strolls around the street of Lisa’s neighborhood, in search of a meat restaurant.

 

“By the way, you haven’t told me the girl’s name,” she tells him.

 

“Who?”

 

“The girl you went on a date with? Who else would I be talking about?”

 

“Oh.” He then leans down to her ear and whispers, “It’s a secret.”

 

With that being said, she jabs him in his ribcage with her elbow causing him to take a step back automatically, groaning in pain. He glares at her, holding onto his sore spot and she shrugs, turning her eyes to the front and walks faster, leaving him behind.

 

He does a headlock on Lisa, after having caught up to her, and she coughs because of the sudden action. Whilst the brunette tries to get out of the hold, Bambam cracks in a laughter as his hold around her is solid.

 

She can’t think of anything else to get him to release her and pinches his butt cheek that is nearest her real hard. He tries to endure the pain but can’t in the end and jumps forward.

 

“I can’t believe people actually want to date you, I feel sorry for them.”

 

“Well, I feel sorry for your future dates too. You’re such a violent person,” he mutters.

 

“That’s how I express my love, by being violent and annoy the crap out of them. You should be happy unless you want me to go back to the awkward state.”

 

“No, no, no,” he refuses repeatedly and Lisa smirks. “I love you the way you are.”

 

He puts his arm around her shoulder and she nudges him to go away as he is being too affectionate right now. Bambam has his touchy moments, then again, Lisa doesn’t have a say as she too has her touchy moments, too touchy maybe?

 

“Let’s try this restaurant.”

 

Bambam guides them inside the meat restaurant located about 10 minutes away from her apartment and with a bright, bubbly smile, for the first time in a long time, she steps inside with a calming heart.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, so I've had the biggest writer block up to now and my motivation and focus have been elsewhere. College life has begun for my part. Nonetheless, I wanted to give Chaelisa closure and end the chapter on a "happy" note until things start going wild again.


	9. Part Nine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Has not been proofread.

There were only smiles and laughter throughout the entire evening. The food was great. The beverages were great but most of all the company is great. There hadn’t been a single thing that had gotten her annoyed or made her complain. She’s content and there isn’t anything better else she can ask for right now. This is her being back to herself.

 

“All right let’s go. We’re not tryna get you drunk tonight. You have school tomorrow,” Bambam interjects, grabbing her drink from her causing the latter to pout.

 

“I’ve had _one_ drink, how’s that gonna make me drunk? It’s cider and it’s still too early…”

 

“We’re still going now, come on.” He gets up from his chair to walk around the table, picking Lisa up as if she’s his baby sister when really, she’s the older one here by less than two months.

 

Bambam, being the richer one and the stubborn one pays for the bill after minutes of arguing between the two friends. Lisa ends up exiting the restaurant with a sullen mood whilst Bambam is happy because things went his way.

 

Once they head outside, the snow has returned thus Lisa tilts her head up, looking straight ahead and up to the dark sky.

 

_“Look at me. Lisa, look at me,” she says, and Lisa does what she’s being told to do, staring at the latter intently. “I don’t want you to hurt anymore because of me, that’s the last thing I want. What I’m gonna say, it’s gonna sound really ridiculous but… I want you to go back to the Lisa before I left you. The humble, kind-hearted, funny, beautiful, a heart full of love… happy Lisa.” She smiles but maybe it’s too sad to be a smile because Lisa closes her eyes briefly, shaking her head. “Listen to me, Lisa. You deserve to be that person, not the one in front of me right now with so much grief, so much aching pain, full of anger, a body and face full of scars and fractures… all because of me. This person–” She removes her hand from Lisa’s cheek and points her index finger on Lisa’s upper body. “doesn’t deserve to be here because this person is ruining the real Lalisa I know.”_

Lisa inhales and breathes out loudly, shaking her head. The past is the past.

 

Winter time has surely done nothing but causing pain to her fragile body and mind. Speaking of her fragile body, her cast is getting in the way for everything. Her bartender job as she can’t use her “broken” arm the way she wants to and college isn’t any better.

 

“Where to next?” he asks, and Lisa returns her attention back to her best friend.

 

She ponders for a second, seriously thinking. “Let’s go to Bangkok,” she answers bluntly, and it catches Bambam off guard.

 

“Pardon?” he chokes on his own saliva and coughs a few times. “I don’t think I heard you right.”

 

“It was nothing, just take me back home.” She sighs, going toward the direction of her apartment building. The snowflakes already causing her hair to get wet and the falling snow is getting rougher by the second.

 

“I thought I heard Bangkok for a second here.” He breathes out in relief.

 

“I’m leaving you behind, Bam!” she says, walking further and further away from him.

 

“Hey, wait for me,” he shouts but rapidly catches up to her.

 

***

 

Lisa has had enough of the tormenting pain and the heartbreaking memories that have burnt into her mind that she, with some slight thinking, chose to leave the city that has put way too many scars on her for her to stay there for the rest of the week. She left without a word to anyone, even Bambam whom she saw barely 30 minutes ago.

 

She had been lying the entire evening.

 

She thought her happiness would surge back to her after her closure with Chaeyoung, but it didn’t. She smiled and laughed, did all those kinds of things that made people think she got back to _Lisa_. In reality, she is still broken and needed time off, before the wedding at least.

 

So, she left the apartment as it was and even left her phone behind, making her unreachable and flew back to Thailand, her _home_.

 

It was difficult for her to return to her homeland for the first time in seven years. Because the truth is told, her parents thought she was living well and contented in South Korea since every now and then they would call her to check up on her. She sounded very happy – or she was good at acting – and she was, until months ago, where Chaeyoung left her and hell broke loose.

 

So, when she arrived back to Thailand, her parents were shocked and surprised to see her standing on their front porch, and in the condition, she was in. All torn-up and dispirited, and they wondered if the girl before them was even their daughter. The daughter they sent away was this bubbly girl with a lively personality and they thought nothing would ever break her.

 

They thought wrong, apparently very wrong.

 

Nevertheless, they welcomed her back with open arms without asking about the cast around her arm and gave her space whenever she needed, affection whenever she needed, and not once did they pester her to explain why she suddenly came back. They respected her silence and gave her the time she needed.

 

Lisa wanted to explain everything to her parents if only it was that easy. It isn’t. She has never been an expert at talking about her pain, her feelings and thoughts thus speaking to her parents is a more demanding task.

 

The first couple of days, she locked herself in her room, wallowing in self-pity. Though it was great to be back in her homeland, her house, her old room, it felt odd to be _here_. Finding relief in a country she hadn’t stepped her foot in for seven whole years was hard but just being here, she was getting somewhere. Somewhere that didn’t bring her inconceivable pain and brought her to a stage of recovering, and that was a process.

 

Her parents at first tried to persuade her to come to join them on their regular days, be it going shop for groceries, attend family gatherings, be the first one to try out the new dishes her parents came up with, but nothing ever worked.

 

It was exhausting to start learning how to create her own happiness when for the past years, except for the latest months, she had depended on Chaeyoung for joy in her life as the girl _was_ her entire world.

 

So, the first couple of days, that felt like dragging years, were indeed challenging for Lisa.

 

When two days had passed, she slowly began to crawl outside her shell. She started to interact more with her parents, her relatives, and even her neighbors too. They all were relieved, even shedding some tears because they care so much about her and seeing her the way she was were also breaking them apart. It’s after all Lisa it’s about.

 

Lisa took it step by step. There was no rushing, no forcing, just getting herself back up, not necessarily meaning she’d be happy without any worries on her shoulders after getting herself back up.

 

She had her feelings concerning Chaeyoung and poisonous thoughts sort of settled – the distressing commotion she had been through. By sort of, she didn’t know _how to_ get them settled, they automatically got themselves settled as she was no longer in around people and places that would remind her of Chaeyoung and their memories together.

 

Here in Thailand, she is _Lalisa Manoban_ and not Lisa the heartbroken student.

 

***

 

She enjoys being here in Thailand. Her family, relatives, and friends are all here and they bring her only happiness. Though she’s selfish for not thinking about her life in South Korea for the past seven years, she can’t be bothered to care at the moment.

 

Though she knows she needs to be returning back to South Korea soon and maybe, tonight is the last day in Bangkok.

 

Her friends, Jisoo, Seulgi, and Bambam, and plenty of more are probably worrying but they’ll probably understand. It’s her first time leaving so abruptly, and she has never gone to the extent to escape back to her homeland. So, kind of hard for them to understand when she left without a word or a note, but they’ll understand somehow.

 

Lisa walks down the stairs and meets her parents when she reaches the bottom of the stairs. “ _Hi_ ,” she greets, smiling thinly whilst they smile brightly back at her. Lisa shoves her hands in her pockets and stands there, very awkwardly. “ _Are you guys going somewhere?_ ”

 

They’re both dressed up and about to leave the house, whilst their daughter is in her normal, daily attire hence why she asked.

 

“ _Yes. We’ve been invited to our friend’s daughter’s wedding._ ” Her mom is the one who answers her.

 

Lisa freezes at the word wedding.

 

 _Wedding_.

 

“ _Who's getting married? Do I know that person?_ ”

 

“ _Yes._ ” She nods. “ _Do you want to come with us? There’ll be people around your age there, so you won’t have to worry about only being with us old people._ ”

 

“ _Okay._ ”

 

It’s a simple and not thoroughly thought through answer – Lisa wanted to say no – but it fills her parents with so much joy. For her to finally take the step to come outside and not just around her neighborhood, to hang with her neighbors. They smile genuinely at her, shooing her to go and change into something formal. Something that would fit the wedding theme for the night and her parents’ outfits.

 

***

 

After spending a good 45 minutes in her room, preparing herself for the wedding, she made a quick decision and decided on a short, black and white dress and a pair of black high heels. Pretty jewelry on her fingers and her hair in a flawless top knot bun.

 

The drive there is rather talkative between her parents with some soft music coming from the radio. Lisa sits in the backseat, completely silent, zoning out from the window of the car.

 

Thailand has changed a lot the past seven years and she could hardly recognize the city her parents reside in and the city she was born in. The only things that stayed the same were her parents, slightly older looking but still handsome and beautiful as ever and her room. Plus, the almost 100 years old Chinese restaurant in her neighborhood that she had been going to every weekend with her friends until she moved to South Korea.

 

They arrive at the venue, located 30 minutes away from their house and when Lisa jumps out of the car, they’re greeted by one of the valets who gladly takes their car. Whilst her parents are busy chatting with a couple near a pair of stairs, she takes a look at her surroundings.

 

Her eyes widen at the sight of the glorious and great house with refined details throughout on the exterior. It’s as if she is looking at Barbie and Ken’s dream house that’s replaced with white colors instead of pink. And that isn’t all. A running, beige colored fountain is placed on the front porch, and beautiful cars parked everywhere and around the fountain.

 

It must be a beautiful _and_ expensive wedding if the front of the house already looks like this. Who can even afford this place? Lisa may be living the high-end life but this, right here, in front of her is on a whole another level.

 

After about a quarter of chatting, they walk around the house with the couple her parents had been speaking to. Apparently, the wedding is being held outdoors. When they approach the massive backyard, Lisa spots a large tent that has been set up in the middle. Lightings hang all over the place, brightening the very white place up and Lisa must admit – it looks like a wedding from a fairy tale.

 

People are already seated around the round tables. She follows her parents like a child waddling after their parents in the supermarket. Out of nervousness, she plays with her fingers. A habit that she hasn’t grown out of and because of that habit, it made Chaeyoung hold her hands even more often, even though Chaeyoung has the same problem.

 

Yeah…

 

She shouldn’t be thinking of a person in another country right now, not especially after she left the country she had lived in for seven years because of the goodbye, the taunting memories, and heartbreak.

 

She sighs, blowing at her bangs as they are making her itch.

 

“ _Hey, mom, I’m just gonna look around. I’ll come back soon_ ,” she says and her parents, in their seats already, nods.

 

Once again, she plays with her fingers all the way to what looks like an unoccupied space. She desperately needs space right now. Perhaps, going out and away from her neighborhood has been a huge mistake. She isn’t ready to meet all these “strange” faces and attend a _wedding_. The word that has relentlessly stabbed her in the heart a thousand of times and still does.

 

Proposal, wedding, husband and wife, marriage – all these words are making her nauseous and causing her head to ache.

 

She leans over the fence in the center, stairs on each side of her and before her is another but the disconnected garden, and a pond a bit further away from her. Lights around it, making it look ever so magical, and water flows into it. Few people walk casually around it, talking to one another whilst a few children run, possibly playing tag and then being scolded for not being cautious around the pond.

 

Exhaling, her eyes drift downwards. It _really_ was a stupid idea to come here. She exhales a long breath and remains in her position, her arms on top of the fence.

 

“ _Hi, pardon, are you okay?”_ A question in fluent English comes from behind. Lisa turns around and meets the person of the voice. She doesn’t miss the slight widening of eyes from the latter and the latter doesn’t miss the bulging eyes of Lisa.

 

Neither of them says anything as they are comprehending and processing the sight before them.

 

Out of all fucking places, she meets her here, in her hometown and her hometown was supposed to be her safe haven when she left South Korea for a reason.

 

 _Jennie_ …

 

“I told you she wouldn’t know how to speak English.” Her friend that stands behind her speaks in Korean. Lisa felt offended by the comment as she understands the language perfectly fine, no errors.

 

Lisa sighs somewhat bothered. “I’m okay. Why do you ask?”

 

“She speaks Korean but not English, what a turn of events.” The friend snorts.

 

“Nayeon, stop. I’m sorry for my friend, really.” Even in the dark, Lisa can see how apologetic she is for her friend’s comments as her catlike eyes are really standing out, even with the minimum light on her. But recalling their latest encounter, she’s doubting her apologetic face.

 

“Anyways, you kinda ‘photobombed’ my pictures, standing in the background.” She laughs but Lisa is too dead to lift up a smile and too tired of the latter in front of her.

 

Jennie before her is dressed in a jacket, wearing no pants as it appears. She wears the jacket as a dress and accessorizes the dress with a belt, showing off her petite body and very bare legs. She looks beautiful, Lisa thinks… _and_ she shouldn’t think of the latter like that.

 

“Don’t worry, I’ll move for your convenience,” she says.

 

“Thank you,” Nayeon says rudely again, causing her friend to turn around and glare at her before moving her eyes back at Lisa.

 

“No, it’s okay, we’re done taking pictures anyways. They turned out perfect, just you in the background but it’s all right.” She smiles.

 

Gosh, the only thought that runs around in Lisa’s head is how fake Jennie can actually be. She, if anyone, should change her fake personality and it’s double standards coming from her as she had told Lisa to change her behavior and personality their latest encounter.

 

“The space is all yours.”

 

She’s about to leave when the latter speaks up again. They’re standing side by side now. Lisa looks to the left, staring at her up close.

 

“You’re being rude.” A small smirk is playing in the corner of her mouth.

 

There it is. There is the real Jennie.

 

Lisa rolls her eyes, her jaw clenching and is breathing excessively loud.

 

“Jennie, come on, the wedding is about to start soon, and I _really_ don’t want to miss a second of the wedding.” Nayeon whines in the background, like birds chirping at the crack of dawn.

 

“Lisa, the wedding is about to start soon, and your mom wants you to come back.” She looks over to her dad who’s shouting from afar.

 

“I’m coming,” she responds her dad with a loud voice, looking back at him when shouting.

 

She then looks back at Jennie. “Leave me alone.”

 

Jennie raises her brow at the latter, wondering why in the world she is so uptight whenever she’s around her.

 

“Jennie, you’re coming?”

 

“I’m coming, just a sec.” The voice is nearing her. “Nayeon, you go ahead.”

 

Lisa paces up, going around the building to get to the front porch but a hand catches her by the wrist, stopping her dead in her tracks.

 

“A bit too affectionate towards a _stranger_ , don’t you think?”

 

Lisa slips away from Jennie’s grip as she turns around and looks her dead in the eyes. They stand a few meters away from the front porch, few meters away from the where the wedding holds. Kind of away from everything but at the same time not as nothing is shielding except for the big house beside them.

 

“Wedding is back here, not over there.” Jennie points with her face to front porch behind Lisa. “Where are you going?”

 

“A bit too nosy for a stranger.”

 

“A bit too _annoying_ , _infuriating_ , _uptight_ for a stranger.” Lisa rolls her eyes at the comeback, shoving her hands in the pockets.

 

“What is it that you want, Kim Jennie?” Jennie smirks upon hearing her surname. “Really, out of all places, we had to stumble upon each other here. You know what, let’s not bother talking to each other and leave me alone.”

 

She doesn’t say anything else and she just stares at the latter in front of her so Lisa takes it as her cue to leave. Finally. But she isn’t prepared for what is coming next.

 

Jennie’s hands are on her cheeks and she closes in on them quickly, inhaling sharply before kissing Lisa like her world is falling apart.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Goodness, I'm so sorry but I've had a major writer's block and I'm still in college. THOUGH, I hope this chapter has redeemed my lack of update.


	10. Part Ten

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Not proofread. Sorry.

There isn’t anything cute about this kiss, it isn’t sweet nor soft. There’s only clashing of teeth, nibbling on Lisa’s lower lip, holding her dangerously close by grasping the nape of the taller girl’s. Well, that is until Lisa turns her head to the side, interrupting the kiss. They both heave out, urgently gasping for air. Even though Lisa barely cooperated in the kiss, she did nonetheless – Jennie sure as hell took her breath away, literally.

 

Lisa stares down on Jennie, holding her gaze but it doesn’t last long as she urgently takes a step backward and another, and another. But Jennie is quick on seeing her withdraw thus she raises her brow whilst the latter is in the sky right now, baffled and enraged, staring at her and in her head, questioning Jennie’s doing.

 

“ _Don’t_ fucking kiss  _me_!” Lisa suddenly shouts, breathing excessively rigid and her temper’s bubble has popped. The bubble that she, for so long, or for the past weeks kept alive but thanks to  _Kim Jennie_ , all her hard work is gone.  _The closure_  no longer meant anything.

 

“You really get mad over the smallest things.” Jennie crosses her arms over her chest, smirking.

 

Thank God for the meter that is holding them apart.

 

“This is sexual assault you know?” she says, her voice holding no emotion, pointing her index finger and in turn unintentionally showing the cast to Jennie.

 

Jennie’s smirk fades and in exchange, her eyes soften upon seeing the cast and without thinking takes a step forward. Lisa sees it but doesn’t stay back, Jennie is still far enough from her.

 

“Your arm… what happened?”

 

“And now you change the subject? Oh for fuck’s sake, stay to one personality will ya? I’m sick and tired of having myself going off because of someone like  _you_. Shit! I don’t even know you, so can we keep it like that? I have no intention of becoming friends with you, let alone  _be_ friendly.”

 

“Lisa…”

 

Lisa sees it all, she sees the latter coming up to her, but it isn’t until she feels a hand wrapping itself around hers, bringing it up to examine the cast that she pulls back yet again.

 

“I can’t believe you!” she says flabbergasted, tearing her arm away from Jennie’s hold and for the fifth time tonight, she steps away. “It’s my last day in Bangkok and  _hopefully_  my last day seeing you. So, please… tell me what is that you want? Hm? I don’t want to spend my last night like this…”

 

“I’m trying to be nice and you’re being an ass right now.”

 

“I don’t  _need_  you to be nice. What I need is for you to waddle your ass back  _there_  and let me be.”

 

It gets peaceful. And almost as if on cue, a refreshing breeze rushes past them so slowly (like in slow motion) and it unexpectedly makes Jennie entirely captivating, with the minimal light coming from the back and the calm wind caressing her hair, hardly disheveling her perfect state of hair.

 

“You looked like you need a friend back there,” she says after a while, worriedness and sympathy spread all over her face. “For the night, let me be your friend.”

 

“What?” Is she really hearing this absurd offer?

 

“You said it yourself, it’s your last day in Bangkok and mine as well, and you want to know what’s my deal, right?” Lisa nods and with her index finger, signaling for the latter to keep going. “So, my offer is that you let me be your friend for the night.”

 

“No.” Lisa doesn’t even think about it and gives her an immediate answer.

 

Jennie clicks her tongue as it’s hard to appeal to Lisa. “Do you hate me that much?”

 

“Yes!” She frantically says. “You slept with my drunk self, made out with me the next morning, making me feel jittery, in-love kind of feelings and made me think of you for days but then I see you again at my college’s library. Do you even go to the same college as me or? Never mind that… You proceed to ignore me and that completely blew me off.”

 

It really  _did_ blow her off and it wasn’t a nice blow as it got her rather dejected, feeling used.

 

“And then I see you with your boyfriend, you kiss him in front of me, like what’s that supposed to mean? And when I walk away because I finally understood what kind of person you are – a cheater and a bitch – you drag me back to your sinking hole and we end up kissing each other again, in the  _fucking_ bathroom when I should’ve studied.”

 

Tick, tick, tick.

 

“You almost had me in the bathroom.” She shakes her head, thinking back to the incident and it’s exhausting her. “You got me drawn into you, made me forget about the place we were in, about you, about me, everything and everyone altogether,” Lisa speaks like there is no end of her rant. She is up for the prime minister position in Thailand from the looks of it.

 

Lisa inhales and exhales before continuing. “And you say something about having fallen for me and all that bullshit, telling me I’m in denial because I don’t believe you when we’re mere strangers. That’s not all though. So, when your boyfriend shows up, there’s a  _whole_  new Jennie showing up, disregarding me  _again_ , as if we weren’t kissing each other to death a second ago. Wait, wait, that’s not all, you’re fucking engaged, aren’t you? Wow, you’re nuts!”

 

Lisa can’t seem to look anywhere else but at the brunette’s eyes, the amazing chocolate brown catlike eyes that got her mesmerized at one point in her life. The day after their one-night stand. She’s completely captivated and completely frozen.

 

“ _Now_  I’m done,” she says, breathing out loudly. “Have I answered your question?”

 

It’s silent and courageously, Jennie is still holding eye contact with the latter, but she doesn’t say anything. The only sound Lisa hears is from the wedding she had escaped from. She honestly needs to leave or go back there before her parents start to wonder where she went off to.

 

“Engaged, huh?” Jennie snorts. “According to whom?”

 

“Ji– I have my sources, but does it even matter? You did all this shit to me and expect me to not hate you.”

 

Suddenly, Jennie laughs and to be honest, it scares Lisa a bit.

 

“Why are you laughing? It isn’t funny.”

 

“I’m staying at the Shangri-la hotel so come there after the wedding, I’ll be anticipating your visit.” With that being said, Jennie struts away and Lisa is officially at loss for words. She cannot fathom this Kim Jennie, at all.

 

***

 

So, how did it come to this? Lisa standing outside the largest hotel property along the Chao Praya river? An extravagant five-star riverside hotel in Bangkok that Lisa hasn’t dared to step inside when still living in Bangkok because of how luxurious and elegant it is. It exudes richness from the hotel and even the people that stepped outside are probably born with a silver spoon in the mouths. But that isn’t the question, why is she  _here_ and on her way to visit Jennie after having come home to change right after the wedding? Having asked her parents to drop her off here without answering any of their questions, just simply visiting a  _friend_. When she should be avoiding her at all cost, especially after Jisoo’s warning concerning the certain girl.

 

Upon arrival at the entrance, she is greeted by a porter with a friendly smile and he lets him inside the lobby. The lobby is equivalent to the exterior of the hotel – it’s awfully glamorous with magnificent chandeliers and the floors of polished marble. Even the scent of the hotel is “upper class”.

 

Nonetheless, she strides up to the check-in desk with a nervous heart, her palms sweating to the degree she has to wipe them it off on her shirt.

 

“Welcome to Shangri-La, how can I help you tonight?” The woman behind the counter greets with a professional tone, clasping her hands together and gives Lisa a little bow.

 

Lisa envies these kinds of people. Those who still can, after a long, tiring, 12-hour shift or maybe longer, have the energy to even voice out their greeting, let alone smile.

 

“Hi,” Lisa returns the greeting. “I’m looking for a Kim Jennie? She’s supposed to be staying at this hotel.”

 

“Just a second and I’ll check for you.” And she goes typing on the computer before picking up the phone. “Good evening, Miss Kim. I have a young lady here by the reception looking for you.” The front desk woman looks at Lisa before asking for her name. “Lisa is looking for you. Oh, okay… yes, I understand. I will let her know and send her up to you.” She moves back the phone to its original spot and returns her attention back to Lisa again. “Miss Kim is in her room so if you follow this gentleman here, he’ll show you to Miss Kim’s suite.”

 

“Thank you,” Lisa says, bidding goodbye to the kind receptionist.

 

***

 

It may sound like Lisa’s exaggerating but after being guided to Jennie’s suite, she has stood outside the door, contemplating her actions and just thinking in general for half an hour. She does not dare to look at her phone because it may just show another time than she has predicted. Worst case scenario, she has been waiting for an hour. It’s still bad, nonetheless.

 

However, the moment she has come to her senses and ready to knock on the door, Jennie opens it. In her pajamas and bare face, rounded glasses sitting on top of her nose, she shakes her head with a thin smile on her face and leans her body on the door.

 

_Fresh flowers._

 

“Took you long enough.”

 

“At least I got here.” She invites herself in, brushing past Jennie and takes a quick look around the room before standing near the balcony, staring outside the lengthy window. “You sure live high-class life, staying at this five-star hotel in Bangkok and all.”

 

“Did you really have to wait outside for an hour before finally deciding to knock?” Jennie asks whilst taking a seat on the couch, her legs crossed over each other.

 

“How stalkerish of you.” Lisa joins Jennie by the couches but takes the couch before her.

 

Then there’s the eerie silence in the air again.

 

Lisa has no choice but to look around again and she has to admit that this hotel is no joke when it comes to defined details with a touch of contemporary Thai style. From the dark elm wood paneling to carved intricate carved motifs to opulent fabrics. Every single thing in the room is probably worth more than Lisa’s apartment in Seoul.

 

“I’m not engaged,” Jennie blurts, and Lisa retracts her eyes back to the petite girl. “From whatever source you got it from, it’s… to say the least,  _very_  unreliable.”

 

“And how do I know that you’re telling the truth?”

 

“Do you see a ring on my finger?” She shows her left hand to Lisa, both the front and the back. No ring.

 

“You could be hiding it.”

 

“Oh, now you’re just being petty.” Jennie scrunches her brows together and in somewhat disbelief because of the rude accusation. Lisa’s really sitting there and accusing her of being a liar.

 

The taller girl shrugs, rolling her eyes. “I’m trying to figure out what’s the truth and what’s not the goddamn truth because I hear things, I see things and shit turns out to be right and wrong. If you’d be in my position, you wouldn’t even question my questions.”

 

“Are you usually this uptight?”

 

“No,” she answers truthfully. “In your presence, yeah… You  _sure_ know how to bring out the worst in me… and sides I’ve never seen before.” Lisa rolls her eyes, staring at the wall behind Jennie.

 

“Isn’t that a good thing?”

 

“Uh, no? I don’t want to end up with a cast, ever again.” She points down to her cast. Lisa in her worst state will only make her end up in the hospital and hospital isn’t a place where she wants to go to, not after last time. “Do you know how hard it is to do things by yourself? Thank God, I have Jisoo as my friend…” She mutters out the last, but Jennie hears the name, quite sound and clear.

 

“Jisoo, hm?” Jennie hums, licking her lips and it’s back. The glint of amusement in her eyes, darkness swirling in her orbs and the little lift in the corner of her mouth “How is she? Both her and Seulgi? You were with them on the night of Christmas Eve.”

 

_“Will you be able to handle the truth then? The truth about Kim Jennie?”_

 

“Yeah, no… this was a bad idea.” Lisa stands up from the couch, walking past Jennie who isn’t, for the first time, stopping her from leaving. She heads for the door. “I’m leaving.”

 

“If you leave now, I’ll have both Jisoo and Seulgi fired from their jobs in this instant.”

 

There it is.

 

Lisa turns around, appalled that she is being threatened plus the fact that Jennie’s using Lisa’s friends to get to her. She sees Jennie leaning on the couch and the latter meets her gaze. The same ones she’s seen before, the times where she was playing her  _game_.

 

"What?" Does she have that kind of power that she can fire whoever she wants by just a call? Is she the President's daughter or what?

 

"You heard me," she snorts, her hands resting on top of the couch as her catlike eyes dagger into the latter. This is where Lisa would falter upon hearing her friends' careers is threatened because of  _her_.

 

“Threatening me?” She scoffs.

 

“I am.”

 

"How the fuck do you even know where they work?" she asks, ticked off.

 

"It doesn't concern you, all I'm saying is that if you walk out of that door right now, I'll have them fired." Her tone is frustratingly playful.

 

"How does it  _not_ concern me? It's my fucking friends' careers!" she snaps but Jennie remains unfazed as she has always been.

 

"I love how you care about them, you're a nice friend..." Jennie mumbles, sadness evident in her voice but Lisa quickly brushes it away. It’s nothing. _Nothing_.

 

She sighs, terribly riled up and for her own sake, she hopes she won't play Superman again, thus closing her eyes briefly. “Don’t. Seriously. I’m done playing whatever game you’re putting out for me.”

 

“Who said it’s a game?” A devilish smirk makes its way to Jennie’s lips. “I’m trying to get to know you, Lisa.”

 

“Oh my, God,” she utters low, rage churning within and is a living ticking bomb that has yet to explode. But being in Jennie’s presence, she’s not sure if she’ll be able to retain herself any longer. “ _This_ is not a way to get to know someone or any way at all, it shouldn’t even  _be_ a way.”

 

“It works because, in the end, we’ll be seeing each other…” Jennie takes a step forward. “speaking to each other…” Another one but having gotten used to it, Lisa doesn’t allow her to take any more steps as she isn’t about to get trapped in Jennie’s trance again.

 

Jennie is still determined to approach the girl, but Lisa desperately backs away, her hand up in the air, stopping the latter to move any further. They both stare deep into each other’s eyes and whilst the older one’s are full of fun and games, Lisa’s are dark and a storm swimming in there.

 

“Don’t.”

 

“If you sleep with me, I’ll reconsider firing them but  _if_ you leave… you’ll regret it.”

 

“Sleep with you? What are you, a hooker?” she asks, dumbfounded whilst trying to keep the gap between them.

 

Jennie comes to a halt, stilling herself on a spot and no longer by the couch. “I’m just saying, you have two choices. Choose wisely, but if I were you, I’d gladly pick the first alternative.”

 

"Don't you have a boyfriend that would gladly fuck you?" she hisses, "Seriously, why would you ever think that I want to have sex with you again?"

 

"I didn't say that..." Jennie rolls her eyes, also frustrated. "I said sleep with me, not have sex with me."

 

Lisa isn’t up for arguing with Jennie because arguing with the girl is tiring and it’s draining all her energy. Besides, she doesn’t want to take the risk of being the cause of her friends losing their jobs. So, does she even have a choice here?

 

“Fuck you, Jennie.”

 

She stomps her way past Jennie and climbs up to the bed after removing her shoes. She doesn’t say anything and neither does the shorter latter from afar as she just watched Lisa go from the door to the bed, lying on top of the blanket with her eyes closed.

 

***

 

And somehow, Lisa accidentally ended up hitting the sack when she was actually supposed to stay awake and leave when Jennie had gone to sleep. But she wakes up in the middle of the night, ready to leave but hears soft and low sobs next to her. And she couldn’t be mistaken. It’s Jennie.

 

Lisa had slept, lying on top of the blanket whilst Jennie is tucked under the blanket.

 

Lisa tries to ignore the sobs but it’s difficult and her heart softened at the sound. Even how much she hates the obnoxious girl, she’s not that inhumane that she would leave the girl in her crying state.

 

Having slept on her side, she turns her body, so she lies on her back and stares at the body beside her. Jennie’s lying with her back turned to Lisa, facing the window. Lisa stretches out her arm to the latter, going back and forth with it and in the end clenches her hand into a fist. She can’t reach out Jennie.

 

She gives up, letting the arm fall to the bed and stares up to the ceiling, knots building in her throat as she hears Jennie cry. Whenever Lisa takes a peak at Jennie, her jaw clenches and rapidly moves her eyes back to the ceiling.

 

Jennie doesn’t cease to surprise her with her different sides and personalities. But which one is the real her? Who is the  _real_ Jennie? The one who constantly makes her furious, the one who’s awfully caring and nice then and now or the one crying beside her?

 

Lisa heaves out a loud sigh and the sobs go mute.

 

“Why…” Lisa starts. “are you crying?”

 

Jennie clears her throat but doesn’t move from her position whereas she’s facing the window still. “I actually cry a lot… during the nights, and when I’m all by myself.”

 

“Why don’t you call your fiancé?”

 

This time it’s Jennie’s time to sigh. “I thought we made it clear that I ain’t engaged…”

 

“Boyfriend then,” she corrects herself.

 

“Not that either.”

 

“So, who was that guy then?” Lisa turns to her side to stare at Jennie’s back.

 

“Just…  _someone_.”

 

“So, boyfriend?”

 

“No… no boyfriend, just someone. What is it with you claiming I have this and that? Have you ever asked me yourself instead of listening to your unreliable sources?”

 

“Easier said than done when I hate your guts…” She rolls her eyes. “Okay, fine, you’re not engaged, nor do you have a boyfriend, but you kissed that boy, but I won’t ask why. But my question to you now is why do you cry by yourself? Why not call your friends or that friend that was with you at the wedding?”

 

“Easier said than done…”

 

It gets quiet for a period of time.

 

“If anyone needs a friend here, it’s you, Jennie.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Double update, kind of! Some things are answered, or are they?


	11. Part Eleven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again, not proofread. Terribly sorry.

Nothing is said for a while, a good while. Silence and nothing but silence in the vast hotel room.

 

Lisa’s muscles are tensing up and her buttocks are beginning to itch as she hasn’t moved an inch from her spot on the bed. And she is dying to itch her butt, actually her whole body. Sometimes Lisa wonders why she is making it so hard on herself because, in reality, she can move because no one is forbidding her from doing so. But Lisa being Lisa and she’s in an awkward situation right now and just wants to fade away to the shadows remains silent and still.

 

Lisa can’t take it anymore and clears her throat. “I meant it you know. If anyone here needs a friend, it’s you.”

 

Jennie doesn’t answer immediately but she does eventually, her back still facing the latter. “So, what? You’re offering to be my friend tonight?” Her tone being extremely hostile for someone crying. “And here I thought the first thing you wanted to do when you woke up was to run away from here because little did you know, I actually forgot about threatening you by using your friends’ jobs.”

 

The brunette _finally_ moves (thank God) and places her elbow on the pillow as she rests her cheek on her not cast palm.

 

“I _did_ but…” Her lips form into a thin line. “then I heard you cry. That’s a very weak spot for me, to see people cry or hear them cry. Everything that has to do with tears apparently so thank you for not looking at me because I would dead ass cry with you.”

 

“I thought you hate me.”

 

“Well, truth be fucking told, I’m human and even though I hate you, I can’t hate a person with tears rolling down her cheeks can I now?” She says sincerely. “But sure thing, if that’s want you want, for me to hate you then all right, I’ll leave and hope that we won’t ever, ever, ever see each other again. Goodbye.”

 

Lisa sits up and gets her feet off the bed, smacking both her thighs a few times before rising up.

 

Isn’t she going to stop her?

 

Shaking her head and rolls her eyes, she slips her feet inside her shoes. Why even bother caring about someone who threatened her? This is madness. She should leave as it was her plan to do so all along. But she can’t… somehow. Why?

 

One step, two steps, three steps and she stills.

 

“Stay…” Jennie holds onto Lisa’s shirt, barely, grasping it like it’s her dear life she’s holding onto. “Just for tonight.”

 

“Fine, if I’m staying–” She turns around to face the shorter latter but regrets it right away and turns around again. “Never mind… If I’m staying, we’re setting up _a_ _few_ rules. Deal?”

 

“Okay.” A meek answer is heard.

 

Lisa starts to walk forward, putting a reasonable distance between them because that way she won’t be able to see Jennie’s tears. Only then does she turn around _and_ instantly she realizes the distance doesn’t work at all. Her heart clenches at the sight of the latter drying up her tears but her eyes remain sparkly.

 

“First rule, no more crying tonight or, I mean, sure if you want to cry all night long then I’ll join you but that would be a waste of time,” she says. “So, wash your face with cold water and we’ll be good.”

 

Jennie doesn’t move and stares ahead of instead, at Lisa.

 

“Come on, we don’t have all night. It’s my last night in Bangkok.”

 

The shorter latter raises her brow, wiping away her last tears but eventually turns around to head to the bathroom, leaving Lisa alone. Lisa breathes out, closing her eyes and… smiles. This reminds her of the old days when she was still together with Chaeyoung. How she would set up rules whenever Chaeyoung cried. And now… she’s setting up rules for her and Jennie.

 

Maybe it _is_ time for her to leave. Remembering Jisoo’s warning about the girl, she should but she’s going the opposite direction. She sits down on one of the couches, to be exact the same couch as before and waits patiently, fidgeting with her fingers and occasionally brushes her fingers over her cast.

 

From sitting up, she lies down and stares up at the ceiling. She stays like this briefly but then she lifts herself up and trudges to the bathroom door. She’s washing her face, what can possibly be taking so long?

 

She knocks. “Jennie?” She knocks again. “Jennie?” But to no avail.

 

Lisa bulges her eyes, gulping and down and with no hesitation begins slamming on the door repeatedly. She doesn’t realize it’s with her casted arm she’s slamming on the door with but there’s too much adrenaline, too much panic in her system that she doesn’t feel the pain shooting throughout her arm. It doesn’t work, there’s no response and the only sound she hears from inside is the tap running.

 

Nonetheless, she doesn’t give up and turns to crash the door forcibly with her shoulder, in turn bruising her shoulder. Surely breaking her arm wasn’t enough for Lisa.

 

“Jennie!” she shouts. “Kim–”

 

The door opens and out steps a Jennie with a towel around her body and her wet, water droplets landing on the floor. The shorter latter widens her eyes. Lisa’s crying.

 

“What is it?” she asks concerned. “I couldn’t hear you–”

 

Lisa doesn’t wait and grabs her by the back of her hair, pulling her in for a tight hug. Her arms wrapped around the latter’s upper body as her face is resting in the crook of Jennie’s neck, sobbing lightly.

 

Jennie is shocked, to say the least, but withal, caresses the latter’s back.

 

“Rule number two…” she mumbles, her sobs yet to have ceased. “Don’t scare me like that.”

 

***

 

“Rule number 22… hm–” She slurs and suddenly starts hiccupping. “What was it again?” Lisa scratches her forehead with her index finger.

 

“Rule number 22, stop having so many rules. Rule number 23, that’s enough of drinking wine. Why did you even suggest drinking wine if your alcohol tolerance is _so_ bad?” Jennie, not the least drunk, shakes her head and grabs the glass from the latter’s hold and sets it down on the table.

 

“I, uh…” Lisa stands up from the couch and with determination tries to walk over to Jennie but fails miserably, stumbling down on the couch with Jennie catching her. Thank goodness it’s close by, otherwise, she’d fallen face flat first. “I like wine.”

 

“I can see that.” She lets go of the latter.

 

Lisa sits approximately an arm’s length away from Jennie, her legs crossed over each other whilst her left arm dangles over the edge and she rests her face on top of her arm. All the while, looking at Jennie with saddened eyes.

 

“What were you doing in the bathroom before?”

 

Jennie raises her brow. “I was showering?”

 

She sighs. “I’ll give you that, but there’s no way in hell you couldn’t hear me shouting and banging on the door. You can’t be that deaf.”

 

“What are you getting at?”

 

“You tell me.”

 

“Rule number 24, it’s a secret.” She bops Lisa’s nose, her lips curling up and she smiles. But it’s a saddened one. Lisa recognizes it immediately and it’s disappointing to see but who is she to pry into a stranger’s life?

 

“Weren’t you the one–” She hiccups causing Jennie to laugh. “who complained about me having too many rules, look who’s catching up.” She smiles a dorky kind of smile and with her eyes closed.

 

“It’s like you have two personalities. One where you’re… _you_ , and the other one when you’re like this. I gotta admit, I prefer this one over the mean, too serious and uptight Lisa.”

 

Lisa opens her eyes in haste, still smiling so dorkily that it’s making Jennie think of other thoughts than the other ones she previously had. “So, you find me cute?”

 

“You could say so…” Jennie blushes. She blushes?

 

“You’re cute as well,” she hums, withdrawing her gaze and faces forward and to the obsidian sky. “If I didn’t hate you as much as I do then maybe we could’ve been friends.”

 

“Why not? We’re talking without riling each other up, I’d say it’s a progress.”

 

Lisa ponders momentarily before saying, “Rule number 25, what happens in Bangkok stays in Bangkok. So, I’ll tell you a secret of mine and in exchange, you tell me a secret of yours. Pinky promise that I won’t tell anyone, besides I’m drunk, I’ll hardly remember anything after tonight.”

 

“Rule number 26, you’re not allowed to be angry.”

 

Lisa doesn’t look back nor question her rule because she’s so happy, drunkenly happy.

 

“Don’t worry, what’s there to be angry about?” she asks, reaching for the wine glass but Jennie stops her.

 

“You’re breaking rule number 23.”

 

Lisa looks back and pouts. “Rule number 27, I’m allowed to break rule number 23.”

 

“Hey,” she argues, gaping. “That’s not how you play this game.”

 

“What do you know?” Lisa’s baby side is coming out, one of the few sides that comes out of being drunk. “I’m the one who invented the game so basically, I’m the creator thus my game, my rules.”

 

“You’re playing unfair,” she says, removing the glass and the wine bottle far from Lisa’s reach. Quickly, she returns to the seat after having safely hidden the alcohol.

 

“You’re such a mom…” Lisa rolls her eyes, crossing her arms over chest and leans back to the couch. Her eyes go back to the windows, falling into a nostalgic feeling.

 

It gets quiet but this time around, it’s a comfortable silence. Lisa didn’t think they’d ever reach this point, to be honest. Honestly, she didn’t even think they’d see each other again. But she assumes God has different plans for them. Besides, it’s difficult to ignore her, especially after what happened after Christmas Eve. How she made her feel the way Chaeyoung never got her to feel.

 

“Have you been to the balcony? It’s even more amazing if you stand outside. Come.” Already standing up, she gestures Lisa to follow suit. Lisa takes her hand and the latter guides them out to the balcony and Jennie did not kid.

 

“It’s beautiful… holy shit,” she utters, astonished by the view from the balcony.

 

She saw the view from inside but standing here, on the balcony and with Jennie, it’s way different. Unlike in Seoul, where it was freezing cold, snowing a lot, here in Bangkok, the weather is still humid even though the sun has fallen behind the horizon. It’s pleasant and she simply enjoys the weather here, though at times it can get too hot for her liking. But nights like these are the to die for. It brings her back to the memories when she still lived here.

 

One detail the both of them forgot about is that they are still holding hands, skin to skin, fingers intertwined, and no one has bothered to slip away. However, there’s one thing Lisa isn’t sure about if it’s the alcohol that has gotten her heart to race abnormally fast or the fact that she is holding hands with Jennie.

 

“Did you mean it?” Lisa asks, looking over the grand river.

 

“Hm?” The latter hums, her gaze also stuck at the river.

 

“When you said you were falling for me, you know when we saw each other that day in college… and did things…” Lisa’s embarrassed, her cheeks heating up, but they’ll blend just right in with her glow due to the consuming of alcohol. Being embarrassed is one the few sides that come out of being drunk.

 

“Oh,” she says, smiling and squeezes Lisa’s hand unknowingly. “No… but not everything was a lie. You _did_ make my heart race a few times and because you did, I got more interested in you hence why I did what I did. Though I regret being like that but at the same time not… if I didn’t, then I wouldn’t have gotten answers to why I was like that– like this around you.”

 

“In a shorter sentence that means? I can’t understand things very well when I’m drunk,” Lisa blatantly admits because it’s the truth.

 

“That, if we keep seeing each other and talk to each other like normal beings, then… I might end up liking you,” she explains, and her voice is so soft and low it causes Lisa to get goosebumps.

 

Lisa nods. “That’s good. We have to like each other in order to become friends.”

 

“I–” Jennie looks away from the river and up to Lisa, to her side profile. Perhaps being drunk is making her dense, or she’s dense in general. “Yeah… _friends_.”

 

“Rule number… what number are we on now?” Lisa squints her eyes as if it’s going to help her remember.

 

“28.” Jennie grazes her thumb over Lisa’s, it’s subtle and still unbeknownst. Either, Jennie knows what she’s doing or she’s equally as dense as Lisa and it’s her body’s automatic reaction to skin contact.

 

“Right, rule number 28, we’re friends from now on.” The brunette turns to the side, bringing her attention to Jennie and she smiles her widest, goofiest smile.

 

“Rule number 29, we’ll need to write a contract because you’re not gonna remember what you’re saying tomorrow.”

 

“Fine, fine,” she says and lastly, removes her hand from Jennie’s hold and takes one step backward. “You may wanna film this if you want your contract because that way, I can’t be in denial when you tell me we’re friends because you’ll have the proof.”

 

Jennie shakes her head but nonetheless rushes inside to grab her phone. When she comes back out, she directs the camera at Lisa.

 

“I’m filming in 3, 2, 1…”

 

Lisa lets out a heavy exhale. “What do I say again?”

 

“I’m not gonna retake it so you might as well figure out what you were going to say.” Jennie smiles but it’s unseen as she’s hiding behind her phone.

 

“Oh, I remember. From this day and onwards, I don’t know what date it is but we’re in Bangkok right now. Anyways, from this day and onwards, I, Lalisa Manoban have become friends with Kim Jennie. That said, we are friends, so Lisa, the sober one, if you see this, you can’t chicken out. Wait, why am I speaking in third person? Ah, I don’t know, I’ll remember this tomorrow anyways.”

 

Abruptly, Lisa takes two huge strides towards Jennie and it catches the latter off guard as she stops the filming and inevitably takes a step back.

 

“W-why are you getting so close all of a sudden?” she questions as holds her phone against her chest, her back touching the railing now.

 

“To seal the deal.” Just like that, Lisa leaves a chaste kiss on the plump lips of Jennie’s and… seals the deal. Jennie, on the other hand, has her heartbeat rising up ‘til her ears, it is that clear. And she clutches hard onto her poor phone.

 

“Oh, wait, wasn’t it supposed to be a pinky promise?” Lisa takes Jennie’s right hand, freeing her pinky and locks it with her own before shaking it. “The deal’s sealed now. What happens in Bangkok stays in Bangkok.”

 

But Jennie sighs upon it, somewhat disheartened. “Us being friends too I assume?”

 

Lisa doesn’t stop catching Jennie off guard as this time, she wraps her arms around the girl’s upper body and holds her close. Now, would be a great time to say that being touchy, maybe extremely touchy is the right word, is one of the few sides that comes out of being drunk.

 

“No, we’re friends… in Bangkok, in Seoul, everywhere. You have the proof on your phone.”

 

“Okay, that’s enough hugging,” she says, embarrassed but doesn’t dare to say it and pushes Lisa away. “I’m gonna sleep now, feel free to join.” Jennie escapes faster than a prison inmate.

 

Being friends with Jennie, even with Jisoo’s warning, it can’t be that bad, can it? But Lisa’s too drunk to care and Jennie’s not bad as she thought she was. She’s cute and she has sides that Lisa didn’t think she had, making her more intrigued.

 

When Lisa returns inside after having been outside for a little while longer, she shuffles to the bed and doesn’t see Jennie anywhere. Panic strikes Lisa again but it fades immediately when Jennie trudges out of the bathroom, her face washed and her hair up in a messy bun.

 

“Is there toothpaste on my face?” She raises her brow, trying to smudge off the invisible toothpaste on her face.

 

“It’s gone,” Lisa lies and moves her body to the bed, ready to tuck herself under.

 

“Are you really going to sleep with jeans?”

 

“Yeah,” she says, looking at the latter with her arms crossed over her chest, shaking her head. “Stop shaking your head. I _didn’t_ plan to sleep over therefore I don’t have any other clothing. Unless you’re suggesting me to strip.” Lisa’s kinky side comes out and her kinky side is one of the few sides that comes out of being drunk.

 

Jennie widens her eyes and points her index finger at Lisa. “Keep your jeans on, I’m warning you, Lisa.”

 

“You’ve already seen me naked before, I doubt seeing me in my underwear will do anything.” Her smirk is shown.

 

“I’m ignoring you…” she rolls her eyes and hurries over to the other side of the bed, getting under the blanket and with her face to the window, back facing Lisa.

 

Lisa laughs. “Good night, Jennie.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, well, look who's making amends? Though, I wonder how long this will last...


	12. Interlude

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Really sensitive material ahead, so if you have a problem with that, please refrain from reading this chapter as it may cause emotional damage. I beg you.
> 
> Not proofread, really, really sorry.
> 
> So, this is a special chapter. I initially wrote this chapter for another drafted story of mine but then when I reread this drafted chapter a couple of days ago, things connected with this story. So, I changed some things here and there to make it fit the plotline.
> 
> Nonetheless, this is a chapter from Jennie's POV and this is in the past, BEFORE she met Lisa.

Jennie doesn’t like this.

 

She doesn’t like crying, because crying means she’s weak and weak people are a big disadvantage.

 

She doesn’t like being this vulnerable.

 

She doesn’t like this feeling of being exposed… _naked_ almost.

 

Her bottled emotions and thoughts let themselves out so easily through uncontrollable tears, the everflowing surge of salty tears that streams down her cheeks.

 

She had gone from lying down on her bed, to her couch and now, to a cold spot on the dark mahogany floor, in the middle of nowhere but anywhere in her vast and bright bedroom. Too vast and too empty for her liking. She hadn’t realized how spacious the bedroom really is, and how alone and empty it makes her feel until… she was actually _empty_ and feeling _alone_.

 

It’s disturbingly painful and Jennie isn’t fond of this fresh, but at the same time so familiar feeling of hers, and she’s afraid it’s going to stay for a long period of time, way more prolonged than it used to. Because this time around, she no longer confides in anyone… and that’s pretty much her negative thoughts speaking like they always do. But it’s the truth. She doesn’t confide in anyone, she used to, past tense, but not anymore.

 

Her parents, well, they disowned her, _ages ago_ , for being bisexual and for going against everything they stand for. Friends, what are friends? _Friends_ … well, they aren’t here, with her, that’s for a fact. Is it their fault? Not at all. She never puts the blame on them for something she herself can’t understand, something she herself can’t control. It would be tragic and a grave mistake if she ever _did_ blame it on anyone, because it’s no one’s fault really except for Jennie’s.

 

It’s _always_ her’s.

 

She is sat next to her bed, with her legs crossed, back leaned forward and her hands resting on her knees, gazing down with a blurred vision. Her cries muffled as a song that she particularly picked out is on repeat, drowning out any noise outside the headphones. Especially the roaring party that is currently going on just outside her door and below her.

 

She knew that her grandma would be away for a business trip and isn’t returning until on Monday, after the weekend, Jennie had thought it was a wonderful idea to throw a party on the first day of being home alone. Though she didn’t do it for the fun nor for the booze and the music, she simply did it to ease her alone feeling a notch. However, she quickly realized that feeling lonely and feeling alone is two completely different things, as she is still feeling alone even with all the people around her.

 

Her grandma (from her mother’s side) immediately took her in after hearing about the family problem that arose, not fully knowing what it was about then, she still took her in, but Jennie still can’t talk to her. Sure, talk and talk, that she can, but about the things going inside her head? She can’t. Because, for starters, she doesn’t even know what _her problem is_ except for that these thoughts keep intruding her so-called calmness and that her emotions keep getting the better of her. And secondly, she’s afraid that if she _did_ speak to her grandma, she’d turn on her and throw her out as her parents did. Her grandma, however, she already knows about Jennie being bisexual and Jennie knows that… she knows she has accepted her, but the thought of being driven away lingers near her, like an annoying buzzing bee. So, she avoids talking about her feelings and such.

 

Her nostrils are clogged with dripping mucus, making it unable for her to breathe through her nose hence the way she gasps for air. Frustrated, she lets out a suppressed scream, clutching her face with both of her hands all the while whilst a new wave of fresh tears trickles rapidly out of her eyes.

 

_Now don't think of anything else, let out a deep sigh, just let it out like that._

Jennie reaches her breaking point.

 

She abruptly stands up, wiping away her tears, only for them to return as soon as possible as she storms into the bathroom and turns the tap of the bathtub, filling it with freezing water. Whilst waiting for it to fill, she walks out and paces around the bedroom, breathing heavily as she goes into a fight-or-flight response. The enemy no other than herself.

 

She takes a hold of her headphones in panic and throws it away so it’s no longer to be seen. She bends down, holding onto her two knees and pants, hyperventilating. It has dawned on her that she’s about to lose her mind, if not already losing her mind. Her thoughts, her emotions, they’re eating her alive, eating every piece that is her… what’s left of her that is.

 

She can’t endure it much longer. She’s a living ticking bomb and she’s going to detonate any bloody second now.

 

She… she wants to leave.

 

She _has_ to leave.

 

She needs to leave _now_.

 

She explodes and sprints up to her drawer, yanking back the top one to the right in a harsh manner. She searches for something she is in desperate need of but when she can’t find it, she pulls the drawer even further back causing it to be flung onto the floor. All the things inside now spread all over the floor, but Jennie can’t seem to care any less.

 

She yanks open the left one, digging through all the things that lay in there until her hand touches a metal box. She takes it out, leaving the drawer open before marching back into the bathroom, grasping the metal box tightly.

 

Seeing that the water has risen to more than half of the bathtub, she shuts the tap and with a deep inhale, she steps into the cold water with her clothes on. Once she’s settled in, leaning against one end of the bathtub and her body soaked from head to toe, she opens the metal box. The ever so important metal box.

 

Cautiously (what fucking irony is this?), she pinches the razor blade that had been hidden and kept away from her but would reappear handily in these frantic moments of hers.

 

She’s ready.

 

***

 

“Jennie? You’re in here?” Nayeon asks, her head peaking inside the room and her eyes immediately land on the things spread all over the floor. “Jennie?”

 

She walks further in and looks over to the drawer, finding the top one opened and the realization hits her. Her eyes bulge, remembering what existed in there in secret.

 

She hasn’t told Jennie that she knows because triggering the girl is the last thing she wants. And Jennie hasn’t spoken of the _thing_ inside the metal box so who is Nayeon to pry into her life even more? She may be her best friend but there’s a line that can’t be crossed.

 

Her friend is suicidal, and she knows, she knows all too well. But she can’t help Jennie if she doesn’t ask for her help. Because she has tried, she has tried _so_ hard to be there for her, to help her through the darker days of her, only to be pushed away. She has even suggested therapy, pestering Jennie about it, only to be rejected and blocked out. It’s as if she’s talking to a wall, trying to convince a wall to move.

 

So, all she can do in her position right now is to look after her, being it from afar or close to her. But she seems to fail miserably at doing this _simple_ task.

 

Her head flings directly to the bathroom, finding the door open and… her friend lying in the tub full of blood.

 

“Oh, no, no, _no_!”

 

Nayeon is by Jennie’s side the second she finds her. Her eyes catch the two deeply slit forearms and it’s too much for Nayeon. She trembles whilst pulling her friend up, her left arm on her back and the other one on Jennie’s head, holding the pale girl close to her.

 

“You’re not doing this to me again, Jennie! You fucking piece of _shit_ …” The brunette sobs whilst stroking her friend’s head. “Is someone out there? Help!”

 

Her gaze is on the door to Jennie’s bedroom, frantically screaming for help and curses Jennie at the same time, and at the music for being so goddamn loud during this critical moment.

 

She groans, forgetting the most crucial thing to do in a life or death situation – check if there’s a pulse. She exhales, closing her eyes briefly as she mentally prepares herself for the worst. Carefully, she puts her two fingers, the index, and the long finger, on the latter’s neck. Like a mad woman, she tries to find the latter’s pulse, and she finds it eventually, but it’s weak and hardly detectable.

 

She’s still alive and that’s enough for Nayeon, be it a weak pulse or a strong pulse, as long as it’s a pulse. She sincerely thanks God for not taking Jennie away… just yet.

 

“Jennie, please, _stop_ …” she says through the cries, pulling Jennie back to her shoulder and hugs her fully. “Listen to my voice, I know you’re still in there, I know you’re still alive. So _please_ stop being a fucking ass and open your eyes! I– I beg you…”

 

After a while, Hanbin comes running in the bedroom, his head looking all over the place and finally, he sees Nayeon and… Jennie. He freezes on the spot, his mouth gaping, about to say something, anything, but nothing’s coming out. All he sees is red, red… _the wrists_ and he looks like to be fainting soon.

 

“ _Hanbin_ , snap out of it! Call 119!”

 

“B–but– there’s still a party downstairs, shouldn’t we kick everyone out first?” He stammers. “Let me– uh, let me shut down the party before I call 119.”

 

“Oh, my fucking God, Hanbin… I don’t fucking care! Call the paramedics _now_!” Nayeon emphasizes the last word as she is sure she’s losing her sanity speaking to Hanbin.

 

“Okay, okay… I’ll call them, just let me–”

 

“ _Now!_ ”

 

***

 

The paramedics were called, and they arrived shortly to the household, now full of silent people and the music had been cut off long ago. People saw the blinking red color from distance and the sirens that were not heard was heard when the music became silent.

 

The ambulance people sprint into the house, a distraught, slightly blooded Nayeon guiding some of them upstairs where Jennie lies unconscious on the bed whilst some stay behind in the ambulance. The back of the ambulance facing the wide opened front door.

 

Curiosity getting the best of everyone, they gather around the hallway, putting enough space between them and the paramedics, so they wouldn’t become a hindrance for them. They chat with one another, asking each other to why the ambulance is here and what is going on. No one has a clue though, only Jennie herself, Nayeon and Hanbin know. However, in just a few more seconds, or even nanoseconds, everyone will know _why_.

 

The folk draws their eyes upwards when they hear quick and loud footsteps getting closer, and soon enough, they see Jennie, white as a crayon, in the arms of an ambulance man. By now, everyone must have seen the bloody arms, because some gasp, some puke and some faint due to the graphic image.

 

They reach the bottom of the stairs and run out of the front door, down another pair of stairs before getting inside the ambulance. Once they’re inside, Jennie is set down on the stretcher. Nayeon follows, obviously, whilst Hanbin remains to make sure everyone gets home safely, even though he’s not quite in the state for that, but he does it nonetheless.

 

***

 

Jennie was rushed to the hospital, being first put in the ER and fortunately, she didn’t have to get surgery whereas she was lucky to not have hit any nerves nor cut any arteries. Though the bleeding was severe, and blood was lost, all she needed in the ER was to check her blood, to see if she had blood poisoning, she didn’t. Nayeon is going to thank God for many things tonight. Then she got her arms sewn and bandaged them up.

 

She was then placed in an observation room for 72 hours.

 

The first 24 hours, she didn’t say much, she didn’t eat much either and just laid there, still as a dead person. She talked to a psychologist after she had been awake for four hours and the session with the psychologist went on for too many dragging hours. The male psychologist tried to get her to speak but didn’t get much out of Jennie, just a few yes’, no’s, nods and shrugs. Sometimes he was lucky enough to get a few short sentences out of the patient. It wasn’t much but it was a progress.

 

When she wasn’t in a session with the psychologist or getting a check-up, she spent most of her time, looking out from the windows, thoughtlessly gazing out… just staring. She didn’t spare any seconds at meaningless talks with her friends that came to visit her, but they tried to talk either way, even though they spoke to a living wall. She didn’t feel like doing anything at all.

 

In the end, all that mattered for them was that she was there, safe and sound (off and on), with them. Greed for answers was there but it never overcame them.

 

The 24 hours past and Jennie began to talk more, not too much but it was something, and she ate full meals. She also attended a group session, more specifically she was forced to try it out. Throughout the time, she just sat there, as quiet as she could and didn’t bother listening to other people’s problems because she had enough of her own.

 

The psychologist that held the group session was unsatisfied with Jennie’s _share_ to the group but not surprised that she didn’t say anything.

 

Jennie has a transparent wall around her and everyone but she knows about it. If she’s not ready to break apart her wall, then she’s not ready to face her problems yet (her psychologist thinks). Obstacle one has to be defeated before moving onto number two. Jennie hasn’t come halfway, instead, she’s going backward, she’s on minus.

 

48 hours past and her grandma took an earlier flight home when she heard what happened from Hanbin, even though Nayeon told him to keep quiet, he couldn’t. Nayeon almost beat the shit out of him in the café they were at when he told her but being the angel she is (not really), she refrained herself from getting any more blood on her. But she didn’t speak to him after that and she still isn’t on terms with him (he deserves it).

 

Jennie’s grandma arrived back the day after the news and drove directly to the hospital. When she found a smiling Jennie strolling down the hallway (on her way back to her room after playing with a kid from another section), she screamed her name and burst into tears. Jennie froze when she saw her relative from afar and her smile faded away promptly, her mood turned gloomy. Jennie’s nurse saw Jennie’s grandma on the ground, crying and quickly took a hold of her and before taking care of her, she motioned an emotionless Jennie to get back into her room.

 

When her grandma got to Jennie’s room, calmed down, she didn’t say much because she knew that if her granddaughter wanted to talk she would talk therefore she didn’t force anything out of her. All she asked for that day she arrived at the hospital was for her granddaughter to hug her and Jennie hesitated at first but ultimately, she gave in. Tears fell from her grandma fell on her cheek and she sighed.

 

And today’s her last 24 hours before her doctor decides whether she’s able to go home tomorrow or if she needs to stay for further observation.

 

“Jennie, you have visitors. Do you want me to let them in?” her doctor asks, her head peeking inside and looks over at the patient.

 

Thinking it will be Nayeon and the others, or just her grandma, she nods.

 

Little does she know that a split second after her nod, her parents (the same parents that disowned her six years ago. _What kind of parents do that?_ She hadn’t even begun high school yet, she was still a minor for goodness’ sake) enters her hospital room. They strode inside the room and the husband has the most disgusted look on his face, glaring at his own flesh and blood, seeing her as only mere garbage. Whilst the wife looks to the floor, avoiding seeing Jennie.

 

But Jennie isn’t about to deal with the shit she’s about to get into.

 

“If they’re entering, I’m leaving.” Rolling her eyes, she snorts, getting her feet off the bed and slide them inside her slippers before walking up to them, and about to get the fuck away from them.

 

“ _Pathetic_ as always. Why did my wife even give birth to _you_?” The man mumbles as Jennie was walking past them but she stills upon hearing him speak.

 

She turns around and after six years of not speaking to them, not seeing them, not having anything to do with them at all, she talks back to him. She can do that now. They mean nothing to her anymore.

 

“Then you shouldn’t have injected your sperm inside your wife, simple as that.”

 

Jennie turns her head, standing side by side and looks up to him.

 

“You dare talk back to me?” He snaps at her, but the latter remains unfazed.

 

“No need to ask, I just did.”

 

She grabs a hold of the door handle, on her way out, but she stops for another second, turning around but this time meeting the gaze of her doctor.

 

She had observed Jennie from afar, taking in every second of the rising situation. Thinking if there is a possibility that these people have something to do with Jennie’s suicide attempts (it’s not the first time she has tried to take her own life). The doctor didn’t stop them because she needs to understand Jennie and why she is like this but if the situation ever escalated, then without a moment’s hesitation she would break it off.

 

“Please ban them from ever visiting me again, and I’ll get back when they’ve left,” Jennie says, her lips pursed.

 

“Where are you going?” The wife asks, her voice almost cracking.

 

“I’m leaving you guys behind and this time, I get to walk out with my own feet at least and not dragged out, like you did when you threw me out from the house in a crying mess six years ago. All of my things thrown at me afterward...”

 

She exits the room, closing the door after her and as she walks away (going to the left), she hears the husband screaming incoherently. Not long after, the door opens again.

 

“Nurse, accompany Jennie for me, will you?” the doctor says before going back to the hectic room.

 

She tries to ignore his harsh words, the mixed feelings of them just being there, but they’re stuck to her like a gum. She _was_ fine before they visited, or she was getting better at least as she was no longer in her toxic state of mind. It was difficult to stay all torn up when she had her nurse visiting her every thirty minutes, her doctor visiting her every six hours, her friends and grandma visiting her as much as they possibly could. She didn’t get any free time to herself except for when she was asleep or going to the restroom.

 

Rounding the corner, she all of the sudden places her hand on the wall for support as she bends down, inhaling and exhaling laboriously. Flashbacks intruding her healing mind (the impact feels like a truck hitting her) and the feeling of discomfort, unease emerges yet again (she’s back to her vulnerable state).

 

A hand is placed on her shoulder and she looks to the side, discovering the same nurse that had been told to accompany her standing beside her.

 

“You all right, Jennie?” Jennie nods at the question. “Let’s take a breather. You look like you’re in need of one,” she says, squeezing her shoulder. “Come on.”

 

They went down with the elevator to the lobby, her nurse trying to keep a conversation going all the while, and once they reached the lobby, the pair headed out to back where the magnificent, colorful garden resides. They took a seat on an empty bench and silence settled in.

 

A cool breeze rush through them, messing up Jennie’s hair a bit but she fixes it by running a hand through her hair and restores her hair. Closing her eyes briefly, she sucks in the air, providing her lungs with sweet oxygen and it continues for a while longer.

 

“How did those people know I was hospitalized?” Jennie asks, her fingers fiddling with each other and stares before her.

 

Her nurse took a moment before answering. “I believe your grandma called them. I don’t know the details, so you will actually have to ask your grandma for further information.”

 

Jennie’s quiet for a moment again and then she speaks up again. “Did you know that those people threw me out, retracting my title as their daughter six years ago? Seriously, my no longer dad _dragged_ me out because I refused to leave as if I were nothing to him. All of that happened because I came out as bisexual…”

 

Jennie shakes her head, smiling to herself. “Life sure is awesome sometimes…”

 

Her smile fades and her jaw clenches, and she shuts her eyes. Her abusive flashbacks are beating her up, sending her into a moment of hopelessness. She clutches her eyes harshly and fumes. A repeat of the night 48 hours ago is not about to happen again (it can’t happen again, not when everything is still so fresh). But who is she to take control of her emotions and thoughts? She’s never been the upper hand and she never will.

 

“Breathe, Jennie,” her nurse says soothingly. “It’s okay. I’m not going anywhere, I’m here for you.”

 

With slow and soft pats on top of her hand that sits on the bench, her nurse canceled whatever her mind held for her. She pries open her eyes and only now does she notice that she has been crying the whole time. And it hasn’t been long since her eyes returned normal after looking so swollen beyond unrecognizable.

 

“Wait here, I’ll go and grab you some tissues.”

 

Her nurse scurries away and inside the hospital, on her way to grab some tissues. Jennie takes the short-lived moment to calm herself thus she sighs (she sighs a lot) and wipes away her dried tears.

 

All of a sudden, a shadow towers her, blocking the sunlight to reach her and as Jennie turns to look, the person takes a seat. Out of all empty benches that exist in the garden, the latter chooses to sit beside her, replacing her nurse’s spot.

 

Almost as if on cue, another refreshing breeze rush past them so slowly, but this time messing up both the girls’ hair and _this time_ , Jennie doesn’t bother fixing her hair.

 

The brown-haired girl casually raises her hand to brush aside Jennie’s hair that is covering her right eye, putting her hair into place. And Jennie doesn’t even say anything, she doesn’t even object. She’s mute, completely unresponsive.

 

She then caresses her head tenderly but doesn’t look her in the eyes. This gesture causes the patient’s heart to beat up a notch, forgetting everyone and everything altogether (all because of a gesture). She can’t seem to look anywhere else but at the brunette’s eyes, the amazing brown eyes that have gotten her mesmerized, completely captivated and completely frozen.

 

“Pretty girls like you shouldn’t cry,” she says, her voice sounding so sweet to Jennie’s ears. "I might cry too..."

 

“And you are?” she asks, coming to her senses and hops backward from the stranger.

 

“I’m Chaeyoung.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope y'all still breathing.


	13. Part Twelve

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Has yet to be proofread. I really suck at it.

_Now if I keep my eyes closed she ( ~~he~~ ) looks just like you_ __  
But she’ll ( ~~he'll~~ ) never stay, they never do  
Now if I keep my eyes closed she ( ~~he~~ ) feels just like you  
But you've been replaced  
I'm face to face with someone new

It was a weird sensation. Waking up to _not_ Jisoo or Seulgi, a stranger, no, scratch that, Jennie. Kim Jennie whom she befriended yesterday. She remembers it clear as a day, the words that was uttered out from her babbly mouth and Jennie’s phone the holds the evidence. It’s odd that she remembers it as alcohol has a knack of making her forget things the day after.

 

Lisa tries not to breathe as she’s looking over to Jennie, her back to be correct. She ponders over her words and actions last night. Is this really a choice her inner self wants? A choice _she_ wants? Maybe it is and maybe it could be the best thing that has ever occurred her or it could be the end of the world. Lisa highly doubts it’s the first or the latter, neither of them.

 

When Jennie stirs in the bed, Lisa stops breathing completely in a rapid moment but breathes out rather promptly once Jennie turns to meet her attention with an unreadable face. They lie there, for a second, for a minute and eyes glued to each other with no words being said.

 

 _Fresh flowers_.

 

The scent of Kim Jennie has stuck to her and it would be a lie if Lisa said she doesn’t like the scent of it.

 

A smile out of nowhere tugs at Lisa’s lips and she doesn’t notice it as her focus is drawn to Jennie.

 

“Why are you smiling?” Jennie asks and wow, even her morning voice sounds heavenly. It’s ASMR to her ears.

 

Lisa stretches her mouth and the smile fades away replaced with an all too serious expression. “I wasn’t.”

 

Jennie remains silent, somewhat scared. Scared of what though? The outcome… the consequences after last night? Is she afraid that Lisa doesn’t remember shit from last night? She remembers it all.

 

“Like I said last night, we’re friends… at least we’ll try too,” she begins, a small smile is visible. “I don’t take back my words, besides you have the evidence in your phone.”

 

Jennie sighs. “Even though you say so, your actions say the opposite.”

 

She raises her brow at her. “My actions? I haven’t done anything, Miss Kim.”

 

A soft giggle is let out of Jennie and Lisa can’t help but smile at the latter. Jennie is really nothing but a cute dumpling, that is when her soft side is shown and not the vicious cat.

 

“So, now that we’re friends,” Jennie says and Lisa is all ears, waiting for her to continue. “I guess it’s safe to tell you now…”

 

“Tell me, uh… what?”

 

Okay, she’s officially afraid of what might spill out of that little mouth.

 

“I didn’t kill someone if that’s what you’re thinking!” She rapidly comes to her defense.

 

Lisa breathes out and as a consequence, Jennie slaps her on the upper arm, offended that she thought so.

 

“You’re a vicious cat, a feisty, good-looking cat.”

 

“Oh, is that so?” She smirks but quickly shakes her head. “Anyways, what I was going to say is… uh, we’ve actually met before, a couple of times actually.”

 

Now she’s dumbfounded.

 

“I know?” She rolls her eyes at the announcement which she already knows of. “If we hadn’t, I wouldn’t be here. You’re not making any sense. Do you need your daily dose of caffeine? Tea? Sweets?”

 

“Lisa!” She slaps her again and Lisa gapes. “We’ve met before. _Before_ Christmas Eve.”

_Oh_.

 

Wait…

 

“Huh? When? Hold on, now that’s too much information for me to take in. From the start, easy and slowly so this poor me can understand.”

 

Jennie raises up her body from the bed and leans her back to the bed frame. “All I’m saying, you can’t hate me, you can’t unfriend me and all that after I’ve explained. Remember all the rules we set up yesterday.”

 

“Eh… maybe, you make it sound like it’s something bad. Are you sure you didn’t kill someone?”

 

“Lisa!” Jennie is about to slap again but Lisa is quick this time and grabs a hold of her wrist, shaking her head. “It’s… it’s not bad. It’s just… will you let me explain and afterwards you can bombard me with questions and awful cusses? Just don’t… take back what you said last night and today… about us being friends.”

 

“Fine…” Lisa does the same, raises up from the bed and sits upright, her legs crossed.

 

“Here goes nothing.” She opens her mouth and closes it. She does the same action over and over again, a couple of times. “We met at the club you work at. I’m not sure if you remember, but the girl with the black cap and the black hoodie? Would come alone?”

 

Lisa ponders. “Doesn’t say anything to me, really.”

 

“You were the only bartender left at the club when I walked in. This was the first night,” she says, her eyes watching Lisa attentively. “So, I walked up to you and you told me you were going to close soon and I understood but insisted on getting a few drinks. So, you served me and after that, I don’t know if you remember, I kept coming back after that night with the same outfit every time I came to drink.”

 

Lisa in a deep thought, really trying to go back in her memory but it’s a blur. Jennie continues nonetheless.

 

“You asked me for my name after my too many visits at the club. So… I told you to call me J.”

 

 _Oh_.

 

***

 

_About a year ago_

Tonight is another typical and restless night for the club. Music fills the vast space without effort and it’s deafening, but pleasant deafening. The whole place is jammed with people on both floors and the bartenders anticipate this much every night. The club is after all a hot spot in Seoul.

 

Drinks to the left. Drinks to the right. It’s an unceasing night of serving drinks as Lisa takes all the orders she receives without hesitation.

 

She thoroughly loves her job – every second she shares with her co-workers and every second she spends behind the counter. She enjoys being a bartender, sincerely.

 

But is it something she’d want to do for the rest of her life? She got college but it’s just there. She’s not even sure if she’s in the right direction. Either way, she doesn’t know but what she does know is that she has to live in the now because worrying about the future would do her no good, and what the future holds for her is in the future.

 

The folk is great which leads to the brunette bringing good service to the customers and they appreciate that. And good service means tip. Her salary may be decent, enough to live, but the tipping is great, way too great, and the music here never fails to bring up her mood. So, being a bartender does her good. Even though it sometimes gets exhausting to the point where it physically and mentally drains her, she never lets her smile falter and never lets her weariness evident to the customers.

 

Maybe she should have gone for a job as an actress but then again, maybe not, knowing that Lisa sucks at emotions.

 

The brunette backs away from the customers, leaning her lower back against the edge of the back counter and takes a slight minute to herself to calm down. She retains an unfazed appearance but, in the inside, she’s about to explode, but even then, she gets her mind settled before getting back to serving, refilling and mixing drinks.

 

She grabs an empty, cleaned glass and fills it with water and then throws in some ice cubes before chugging it all down. Feeling pain around her neck area, she cracks her head from side to side, easing the pain a notch and then proceeds to massage her neck.

 

“Hey Lisa, you okay over there?” Her employer, Jessi, shouts from afar and although she’s busy mingling around and sometimes taking orders, she’s _always_ watching over her workers, paying extra care to the younger ones.

 

The bartender looks over to the owner of the club and finds her from the far end of the counter, giving her an OK hand sign, flashing a grin before resuming her work.

 

“You okay?” Mina, one of the bartenders says and the only bartender behind the same counter as Lisa as the owner divides them into different areas. Mina stands riskily close to her and taps Lisa’s butt a few times. It’s a habit of hers.

 

“I’m okay.”

 

She glares up and down with a brow raised at the younger latter causing Lisa to chuckle “You’re _lying._ You’re red as a cherry and sweating nonstop. I can even shower in your sweat.” When Mina says that, the brunette alts her actions and grimaces at the older latter. Mina’s only a few days older but still older.

 

“You never stop being weird,” Lisa huffs and starts moving again. “And shush before Jessi scolds you.”

 

“It’s not going to happen, and you know that,” she says with confidence and she’s right. Jessi rarely scolds anyone but when she does, that person must’ve done some shit, like committing a crime or something.

 

“Okay, fine, she won’t scold you. But if you don’t shush, I might kiss you here and now, would you like that instead?”

 

The brunette halts her movements again, grabbing Mina by her waist and draws her closer as Lisa looks down at her, smirking. The older latter moves away from her and is now the one grimacing disgustingly at the brunette, completely side-eyeing her. Lisa’s smirk fades and she lets out a soft laughter, shaking her head and once again, and hopefully for the last time, resumes her work.

 

But it doesn’t last long when she hears a couple of customers to her left, behind the counter, arguing with one another. In a blink of an eye, the guys went from arguing to punching. Guys got to be guys and as fun as it may look, it’s Lisa’s cue to intervene. She jumps up on the counter and walks to the left, approaching the obnoxious customers.

 

“Hey!” The brunette roars loud but obviously not loud enough as they don’t appear to have heard her. She bends down and grabs the hose that is used to fill water and sprays over the two guys along with a few innocent bystanders.

 

When she gets their attention, she lets the hose slide back to its place whilst the two customers break apart from each other and stare up at the petite bartender, burning fiery visible in their eyes still.

 

“Thank you, now would you kindly stop causing a ruckus in the club? It’s bad for the business.”

 

“Fuck you!” The taller guy blurts out angrily, aggravated by the bartender and Lisa is not sure why. She was polite enough to _ask_ them to _stop_ , if it wasn’t for her, they’d be kicked out the moment she spotted them.

 

“Yeah, fuck you!” The other heftier guy joins in and now the bartender gapes, furrowing her brows.

 

That drew the line for her and her patience, and her being nice.

 

“Fuck me? _Fuck you_ , and fuck off dipshits, and get the fuck outta here. You’re leaving. _Now_.” She emphasises the last word and they don’t get to argue back when the guards have already taken them away from the crowd.

 

Lisa notices the strange and silent atmosphere that surrounds her and though she hates to do this, she still does it, to save her skin, kind of.

 

“Drinks on me this round!” The customers cheer upon the announcement and the bartender turns around, jumping back down and exhales heavily. If this continues, she’s going to go broke by the end of the week and she’s not content with it at all.

 

Still, she begins to serve the customers free drinks.

 

“Didn’t know you could blurt out that many fucks in one sentence.” Mina snickers, “You sure love to curse at our customers without worrying what it might to do the club’s image.”

 

Lisa looks at Mina who has been watching from the beginning and answers, “I’m more worried about going broke right now, let alone worrying about the club’s image.”

 

“That’s literally a clear sign to stop interfering with brawls among the customers and let the guards do their job you know. That’s what they’re hired for.” Mina is worried and serious, way too serious and when did this conversation get so serious?

 

“I mean, what if you get caught in the brawl? What if they suddenly attack–”

 

Within a quick second, Lisa smooches Mina’s cheek and catches the latter off guard. “You talk too much and I did give you a fair warning about the whole kissing thing,” she tells her. “And please, stop getting yourself so worked up for _me_. I know what I’m doing, and it’s not like it’s the first time I’ve interfered. So, relax.” Lisa smiles.

 

“Okay, no more free drinks! Y’all better start paying now,” Lisa declares loud and clear.

 

Jessi saw the commotion from upstairs and saw how Lisa dealt with it and she admits, it was fun seeing Lisa deal with the troublemakers, but she can’t let her continue and do things that aren’t supposed to be done by her.

 

She walks down the stairs and to the two bartenders and smacks Lisa’s butt when she reached her. Lisa looks over her shoulder, noticing her employer who then stands beside her, helping their counter out.

 

“I saw you Lisa, and you need to stop. Seriously. Let the guards do their job and you do your job. I don’t want one of my bartenders to end up in a hospital.”

 

“It calls helping out,” Lisa says, stating the obvious. “I just made the job for guards easier. Besides, who knows what would’ve happened if I hadn’t stepped in. I can’t promise you that I won’t break fights apart but what I can promise you is that I won’t end up in a goddamn hospital, that’s a fucking promise I’ll make.”

 

“No matter how many times I scold you, threaten to punch the shit out of you, threaten to cut your pay check–”

 

Lisa stops refilling a customer’s drink mid-way before twirling around so fast that the sudden movement whiplashed the bartender’s neck, groaning in pain. Great. She’s just adding more soreness to her already aching neck. But she doesn’t have the time to worry about her body part and stares at Jessi panicked whilst the owner remains calmed, grabbing the empty glasses on top of the counter.

 

“Wait, what? You’re gonna cut my pay check? No, no, you can’t do that, I just gave out free drinks on my tab. You have to at least let me survive this month…” she says, devastated and utterly regrets that she gave out free drinks. She’s doomed if Jessi decides to cut her pay check.

 

Mina laughs when she sees Lisa in distress but Jessi, however, smirks and tilts her head to see the anxious Lisa before she talks, “So, does that mean you’ll listen to me when I tell you to stop interfering and that you’ll listen to me in the future too? I guess, if you don’t listen, then I’m afraid I’ll have to cut your–”

 

Lisa rapidly comes to her own defence and says, “Yes, yes, yes! Fuck… I’ll listen to you starting from this millisecond and in my next lifetime too if that’s what you want. Just _please_ , don’t cut my pay check. I have bills to pay…”

 

“Good girl.” Jessi taps Lisa’s butt a few times and with that being said, the employer leaves with a smirk on her face and the younger one breathes out in relief.

 

“You are aware that Jessi would never cut your pay check, right?”

 

“ _No_ , I’m not speaking to you.” She rolls her eyes and shakes her head, getting back to filling the glass that she left unfinished. When she serves it to the customer, she receives a glare but quickly brushes it off before getting to the next one. Being glared at wasn’t out of the ordinary, she receives plenty of those in one night.

 

***

 

It’s almost the end of Lisa’s shift. There are only a few customers left, some about to leave and some too drunk to even leave that the security will have to escort them out. Then someone walks in, the hoodie is up and under it a black cap, almost as if the person is trying to hide their identity.

 

Lisa who was busy cleaning the counter takes a notice of the customer and her brows are raised. They rarely have any customers walking in at almost the end of the opening hours but it happens once in a blue moon.

 

“Um,” Lisa starts to say when the customer takes a seat in front of her. “We’re about to close soon.”

 

“I know. I won’t be here for long… just serve me anything. Something strong, _please_.”

 

It’s a girl and she smells like fresh flowers.

 

The bartender can’t help but notice the crack in her voice and the saddened tone of the customer. Lisa, however, opts to steer clear from the customer’s private life and instead serves her what she requests for. Once served, she gets back to cleaning the counter as she’s the only bartender left during this hour of the day except for the boss herself.

 

She finishes up cleaning the counter and grabs the mop behind her, now cleaning the floor. Still feeling the same pain she had felt hours ago around her neck, she massages her neck with her free hand again, closing her eyes briefly.

 

“Can… I have another one?” The customer speaks, struggling with keeping her voice firm but fails miserably and the bartender hears it all.

 

Lisa pries her eyes open and turns around, facing the girl and she doesn’t speak when she takes the latter’s empty glass and refills it. As she is handing the glass back, she glances down briefly at the customer’s hands who’s at the moment fiddling with a ring in her hands.

 

“Lisa, you’re still here?” Jessi’s soft voice is heard from upstairs and the bartender glimpses up, seeing her boss leaning her arms on top of the railing, looking down.

 

“Yeah?”

 

Jessi should know by now that she’s always the one who stays behind to help her clean the place. If she hadn’t stayed, she’d rarely clean this place and it would end up looking, and probably smell like a pile full of shit.

 

“Go home and sleep, I’ll finish the rest.”

 

Lisa rolls her eyes and ignores her. She’ll just finish the rest and leave.

 

She knows how Jessi is and that woman does the opposite of what she says. Luckily, the brunette has no problem with cleaning whatsoever, so doing the extra is no big deal. Though in the back of her head, she kind of does it because she’s afraid of the mentioning of getting her pay check cut again. In other words, she’s basically kissing the boss’ ass to prevent that from happening.

 

“Excuse me, can I get a refill?” the female customer interjects faintly, and here Lisa thought she had already given up knowing that what she has given the girl is strong enough to deck someone with the first sip.

 

She eyes the customer, well, more specifically, she eyes the cap since the girl has never lifted her head up and has concealed her face. The brunette doesn’t say anything, and usually she doesn’t hesitate when serving drinks but this time she does.

 

“Are you sure?” Lisa can’t help but sound worried. Any sane human being would too in her situation.

 

“Yes,” she responds annoyed.

 

“Okay,” the bartender says and doesn’t think twice when refilling her glass once more, and in the meanwhile she searches for the ring that customer had been fidgeting with. It isn’t found. The brunette shakes her head, she shouldn’t be a busybody.

 

All of a sudden, a tall, slightly muscular man, looks to be like some kind of bodyguard with the way he looks, rushes inside the venue and Lisa knows one thing for sure – the bodyguard definitely doesn’t work at the club. Which means that the bodyguard is this girl’s bodyguard, presumably.

 

“Miss Kim, I’ve been looking all over the city for you.” He approaches them and stands behind her, keeping distance. No doubt that he’s her bodyguard now, and things are getting somewhat interesting in Lisa’s eyes, not that anything has happened yet.

 

Without meaning to, the bartender can’t seem to refrain herself from being a busybody as she tunes into their conversation.

 

“Well, you found me, good job.” There’s a snort coming from the girl and so much sarcasm that even a kindergarten kid can hear it in her tone.

 

“Let me escort you to the vehicle.”

 

“I have my own car and I’m actually capable of taking care of myself. Thank you, you can leave.”

 

Lisa senses some unsolved heat between the two and widens her eyes as she no longer wants to be an eavesdropping bystander. She gets back to mopping the floor, humming at the same time, trying to distract her from the uneasy atmosphere over her shoulder.

 

“Miss Kim, you’re not allowed to drive in your intoxicated state. Will you let me escort you out or do I have to take action?”

 

“You’re dying to get fired, aren’t you?” The female customer fixes her cap, drags it even further down and lowers her head, and the bodyguard maintains his pose behind her. He has not moved a bit and to Lisa who’s now looking back, it looks to her that the both of them won’t move anytime soon.

 

“I’m sorry, we’re closing now. We’re gonna have to ask you to visit us another time,” one of the guard interrupts their intense conversation and God has answered Lisa’s wish. If the pair stay here any longer, the girl just may fire him on the spot or worse, kill him.

 

Lisa doesn’t hear them talk, silence welcoming itself inside the club, and only hears the sound of a stool scratching against the floor and footsteps walking away. The front door open and closes after them.

 

Spinning around, Lisa searches on the counter if the girl even paid up and fortunately, she did. She walks up to put the money inside the cash register but what she doesn’t expect when she gets there is the number of zeros on the bill. The girl must’ve grabbed out the wrong bill.

 

With no time delayed, she grabs the bill with her and sprints up to the front door, bursting it open and is welcomed by the chilled weather. She automatically hugs her arms, rubbing them up and down, scanning the neighbourhood but only meets failure. Clicking her tongue, she runs a hand through her messy hair and afterwards fixes her bangs. Her bangs mean everything to her.

 

Nonetheless she tucks the bill in the back pocket and gets back inside, cleaning up the venue until it looks good enough to leave but leaving the garbage for the guards to throw.

 

***

 

How did she not notice? The girl, no, J from the club smelled like fresh flowers and Jennie here–

 

“J… Jennie… J… Jennie,” Lisa’s repeating to herself. She’s gone, her mind lost in the darkness of her head. Somewhat dejected but it’s more than that, she can’t put her finger on it.

 

“Yeah…”

 

Then Lisa remembers something.

 

“You never came back after that night I asked for your name. You… _disappeared_.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, after like months of rest, I've noticed that I've lost my touch, I can really see it and feel it (cliché). I tried my best to get back on track and I'm getting there but nonetheless, I hope you enjoyed this chapter.


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